I'm deeply sad

[INTJMom]

An ambulance just drove by, which reminded me of the night my husband died. It hit me hard... my husband is dead. That's ME that just lost her husband. That's ME who lost the man of her dreams, the love of her life, who was completely faithful and devoted to her, who was beautiful and wonderful... if occasionally irritating.

I felt like yelling "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" again, but it wouldn't do any good. I don't WANT my husband to be dead. I want him back. I miss my Andy.

 

[rainoneventide]

I'm so sorry. Life needs a good kick in the ass.

 

[INTPatricia]

I'm so, so very sorry that you have to feel this terrible pain in your body, heart, life, mind and soul. Nobody but you can relate to it...it is uniquely yours...I feel terrible for you. It must be agony. Sadness is physical...it is not just in your head. I know his last thoughts must have been of you as well...wishing he could let you know that you would be together again. You are very brave to be bearing this grief. You loved well. You gave him a great relationship. I feel awful about what happened.

 

[INTJMom]

Thanks for your responses.

Today was a hard day... the most painful day I've had so far. Hard to believe the human mind can be that stubborn. Amazing that I'm still struggling to convince myself it's real. I don't want to accept the fact that he's dead. Well, and when I say that what I really mean is that he's not here any more - because I do believe he's alive in heaven - but that doesn't help me down here. I have to go on from here without his companionship and support.

 

[heart]

 

[luvfreedom]

Wow! I don't want to have to go through such a loss, but I know it's a part of life. I admire you for living on. I know it is not easy.

 

[Biaxident]

*HUGS*

I feel you.

*HUGS*