c-jade
daisies and thunderstorms
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2015
- Messages
- 89
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I'm pretty confident my ennegram is 6w5 (641 tritype) but as I'm pretty sure I've been unhealthy for a long time/have developed my functions in unhealthy environments, I am finding it so hard to type myself. I need unbiased, knowledgeable assistance. Let me know if you have any other questions/questionnaires you want answered. Thanks to anyone that takes the time!
0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
I am currently suffering from major depression and general anxiety, which I have recently been medicated for. These two disorders have been a frequent, almost constant theme since middle school, and thus I am very familiar with their influence on my personality. I am a 23 year old female. I've spent a lot of time trying to look at myself from an outside perspective, to understand what is really my personality and what is my mental illness. Hopefully I'll answer these questions from a neutral standpoint.
1. Click on this link:*Flickr: Explore!*Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.
It's a very pretty picture of a dark forest with the sun shining through the trees. It has a green glow to it, with a mossy floor that almost looks as though it's floating. I am immediately reminded of The Lord of the Rings, specifically the hobbits' journey through the dark forest in the Fellowship. It makes me think of a quiet morning with birds waking up and the soft sounds of the forest shifting back into life.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
Thoughts:
"Are you serious? Why didn't [owner of the car] make sure that it was in good shape before we started this trip? If this takes too long...I'm going to just call myself a cab. I mean, they'd think I'm a horrible person for doing that, but it's not fair that I miss the concert just because their car broke down. Ugh, but I can't leave them. I can't believe this is happening."
Outward reactions:
"What can I do to help? Do you want me to look up any repair shops around here or something? ........ (IF I really trusted the people I was with and they seemed in the right mood, I'd eventually say): If we have to, we can always just leave it here, take a cab to the concert, and deal with the repairs afterward?"
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Thoughts:
"I really, really do not want to go to this party. I don't really drink, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable, and I hate meeting new people in an environment I'm not comfortable in. Ugh, this is exactly why I hate going places in other people's cars. You have no control."
Outward reactions:
"I have to be up really early tomorrow, so can we not stay too long, though?"
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
It really depends on what the belief is, and how comfortable I am with the person. If it's political, more than likely I'll just keep my mouth shut unless I think I can help them understand the other side's perspective. If it's religious, I'm more likely to say something. I will usually try to explain my beliefs as clearly and logically as possible, so it's more difficult to refute. I will usually not get angry or heated in my own head or out loud unless the person is being incredibly close-minded or not listening to me at all. For instance, with my father I am very defensive because he talks in circles that contradict other things he's said and he disregards the logic I'm using to explain my point, and it INFURIATES me. I don't talk to many people who are like that besides him, though, so in most conversations I will remain open-minded and enjoy listening to the other person's perspective as long as they're respectful and listening to mine. I can usually remain calm, if it's not my dad.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
I hate questions like this because I really need definitive examples. And what do you mean, my "previous" beliefs, etc.? So I'm seeing something that contradicts something I used to believe in? Why would I care, then? If it's contradicting something I currently believe in, which is what I think you mean, I would investigate to find out for myself where this is coming from and how it's may or may not affect my beliefs/experiences/habits, etc. If it is going to change my memory or belief of something, it will take me a long time to adjust to the change.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
My most important values...I think my biggest value is honesty and truth. And this is what led to my other core value, which is my Christianity. I was desperate to find out the truth about my existence and my belief system, so I spent basically all of my teenage years researching and experiencing different religions. I was 18 when I was baptized, because I waited until I was 100% sure before committing to a belief system. My beliefs within it are still constantly changing, but the core value, that God is exists and my relationship with Him is important, remains the same. Honesty and truth, those values, came from living a life where I've been constantly deceived and lied to.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
a) Ha, I don't know. I don't think I'm distinguishable. I used to believe I was special because I was bold and spoke out when others wouldn't, but I don't really do that anymore. I used to believe my enthusiasm made me special, and I do still think that's a special spark about me. I get very excited about specific things and I can draw people in and get them excited too very easily. I am also honest to a fault, and I am proud of that.
b) Oh, I don't know. I think I'd like to be more decisive. I have such a hard time making my mind up about anything because I can see all the different ways something could go. I'd like to be able to just make a decision and stick to it, for my own sanity.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I usually try to stuff them down and ignore them, because they're never good. But they're also VERY rarely wrong. I have learned through therapy to stop making myself feel guilty and stop second guessing myself, but to just trust my gut instinct because it is trustworthy. It's triggered by...I don't know, behavior? I pick up nuances in people's behavior and without meaning to, I suddenly have a hunch about what they are doing/thinking/what is off about them. It's like I take in my surroundings quickly, wrack through my current information about the person, consider what I've seen in their behavior before, and come to a conclusion about what's going on all in one second. And like I said, I'm usually right.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Small social outings, like getting coffee with one friend. Being outside in nature. Using my imagination to come up with stories. Helping people, like tutoring or giving advice.
b) Large or loud social gatherings with too many people, because it's too many personalities/emotions for me to process and feel at the same time. Eating, because ugh it's so annoying I hate it. Conflict-heavy situations, because I hate not being able to make everyone happy.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
So when I was in high school and middle school I used to not repress anything, really. Everyone knew how cooky I was, how silly I was, how mean I could be, how defensive I was. I didn't really hold back. Since becoming an adult, though, I've learned much more about everyone's expectations of me and I've put on the weight of those expectations to the point of it being unhealthy. So, I repress my depression, trying to be happy because it makes everyone uncomfortable when I'm not. Plus, when I'm honest about it most people don't know what to say or do and make light of it and it makes me feel like no one cares. I repress how mean I am, too. I don't want to hurt people's feelings or cause conflict so unless I'm with my family, most of my sarcastic or witty comments go unsaid. And my flat out mean, hurtful, and selfish thoughts are NEVER said because I am so ashamed of them that I don't want anyone to know what a "horrible person" I am. I don't know, I repress a lot right now because I don't trust hardly anyone in my life anymore.
0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
I am currently suffering from major depression and general anxiety, which I have recently been medicated for. These two disorders have been a frequent, almost constant theme since middle school, and thus I am very familiar with their influence on my personality. I am a 23 year old female. I've spent a lot of time trying to look at myself from an outside perspective, to understand what is really my personality and what is my mental illness. Hopefully I'll answer these questions from a neutral standpoint.
1. Click on this link:*Flickr: Explore!*Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.
It's a very pretty picture of a dark forest with the sun shining through the trees. It has a green glow to it, with a mossy floor that almost looks as though it's floating. I am immediately reminded of The Lord of the Rings, specifically the hobbits' journey through the dark forest in the Fellowship. It makes me think of a quiet morning with birds waking up and the soft sounds of the forest shifting back into life.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
Thoughts:
"Are you serious? Why didn't [owner of the car] make sure that it was in good shape before we started this trip? If this takes too long...I'm going to just call myself a cab. I mean, they'd think I'm a horrible person for doing that, but it's not fair that I miss the concert just because their car broke down. Ugh, but I can't leave them. I can't believe this is happening."
Outward reactions:
"What can I do to help? Do you want me to look up any repair shops around here or something? ........ (IF I really trusted the people I was with and they seemed in the right mood, I'd eventually say): If we have to, we can always just leave it here, take a cab to the concert, and deal with the repairs afterward?"
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Thoughts:
"I really, really do not want to go to this party. I don't really drink, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable, and I hate meeting new people in an environment I'm not comfortable in. Ugh, this is exactly why I hate going places in other people's cars. You have no control."
Outward reactions:
"I have to be up really early tomorrow, so can we not stay too long, though?"
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
It really depends on what the belief is, and how comfortable I am with the person. If it's political, more than likely I'll just keep my mouth shut unless I think I can help them understand the other side's perspective. If it's religious, I'm more likely to say something. I will usually try to explain my beliefs as clearly and logically as possible, so it's more difficult to refute. I will usually not get angry or heated in my own head or out loud unless the person is being incredibly close-minded or not listening to me at all. For instance, with my father I am very defensive because he talks in circles that contradict other things he's said and he disregards the logic I'm using to explain my point, and it INFURIATES me. I don't talk to many people who are like that besides him, though, so in most conversations I will remain open-minded and enjoy listening to the other person's perspective as long as they're respectful and listening to mine. I can usually remain calm, if it's not my dad.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
I hate questions like this because I really need definitive examples. And what do you mean, my "previous" beliefs, etc.? So I'm seeing something that contradicts something I used to believe in? Why would I care, then? If it's contradicting something I currently believe in, which is what I think you mean, I would investigate to find out for myself where this is coming from and how it's may or may not affect my beliefs/experiences/habits, etc. If it is going to change my memory or belief of something, it will take me a long time to adjust to the change.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
My most important values...I think my biggest value is honesty and truth. And this is what led to my other core value, which is my Christianity. I was desperate to find out the truth about my existence and my belief system, so I spent basically all of my teenage years researching and experiencing different religions. I was 18 when I was baptized, because I waited until I was 100% sure before committing to a belief system. My beliefs within it are still constantly changing, but the core value, that God is exists and my relationship with Him is important, remains the same. Honesty and truth, those values, came from living a life where I've been constantly deceived and lied to.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
a) Ha, I don't know. I don't think I'm distinguishable. I used to believe I was special because I was bold and spoke out when others wouldn't, but I don't really do that anymore. I used to believe my enthusiasm made me special, and I do still think that's a special spark about me. I get very excited about specific things and I can draw people in and get them excited too very easily. I am also honest to a fault, and I am proud of that.
b) Oh, I don't know. I think I'd like to be more decisive. I have such a hard time making my mind up about anything because I can see all the different ways something could go. I'd like to be able to just make a decision and stick to it, for my own sanity.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
I usually try to stuff them down and ignore them, because they're never good. But they're also VERY rarely wrong. I have learned through therapy to stop making myself feel guilty and stop second guessing myself, but to just trust my gut instinct because it is trustworthy. It's triggered by...I don't know, behavior? I pick up nuances in people's behavior and without meaning to, I suddenly have a hunch about what they are doing/thinking/what is off about them. It's like I take in my surroundings quickly, wrack through my current information about the person, consider what I've seen in their behavior before, and come to a conclusion about what's going on all in one second. And like I said, I'm usually right.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Small social outings, like getting coffee with one friend. Being outside in nature. Using my imagination to come up with stories. Helping people, like tutoring or giving advice.
b) Large or loud social gatherings with too many people, because it's too many personalities/emotions for me to process and feel at the same time. Eating, because ugh it's so annoying I hate it. Conflict-heavy situations, because I hate not being able to make everyone happy.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
So when I was in high school and middle school I used to not repress anything, really. Everyone knew how cooky I was, how silly I was, how mean I could be, how defensive I was. I didn't really hold back. Since becoming an adult, though, I've learned much more about everyone's expectations of me and I've put on the weight of those expectations to the point of it being unhealthy. So, I repress my depression, trying to be happy because it makes everyone uncomfortable when I'm not. Plus, when I'm honest about it most people don't know what to say or do and make light of it and it makes me feel like no one cares. I repress how mean I am, too. I don't want to hurt people's feelings or cause conflict so unless I'm with my family, most of my sarcastic or witty comments go unsaid. And my flat out mean, hurtful, and selfish thoughts are NEVER said because I am so ashamed of them that I don't want anyone to know what a "horrible person" I am. I don't know, I repress a lot right now because I don't trust hardly anyone in my life anymore.