Based on feedback, I am not talkative at all. As others have said, I too tend to be an observer, especially in groups. The more others talk, the less I tend to participate. I’m terrible at small talk. It’s not just mere disinterest, but I really don’t know why to say. It often sounds like “wah wah wah†to me. I can’t compute it. I suspect I find it so uninteresting that my brain automatically checks out. At work, people often find me rude and unfriendly.
It’s not like the chit chat I have with friends is so deep and fascinating...it’s usually just a different style. I notice with friends I quip a lot, analyze or go on imaginative tangents. It’s not that I’m so witty or deep, but it’s just a different way of approaching the same information. In a group, if I do happen to feel comfortable, then I offer a kind of running commentary on the side. I’m rarely the “driver†of a conversation. I respond or comment with my observations (which are frequently quippy).
When I’m very comfortable with people, then I feel like I can get animated and say a lot. But while I will feel talkative then or even “too muchâ€, apparantly I just seem normal to others. I do think I can get intense and rather raw/candid, especially one-onxone. I’ve felt people pull back energetically out of discomfort in response to this, but not my close friends. I think that’s probably why we’re close friends.
Friends can get used to me being more talkative and then get confused when I reach my threshold for interaction and go quiet, or when we are around new people and I go back into quiet observation mode.