Choosing a career
I go with what allows me to use my creativity, interact with other people, and, most of all, be extremely flexible. Salary isn't much of an issue, but I need enough to survive and to meet my needs.
So, I just go with whatever helps me to achieve these goals in parallel. I've found it in simulation research, specializing in psychological research and cognitive science.
I started out by pursuing electrical engineering, because there was money in it and it was tangentially related to my interests. I became interested in psychology, so I devised a roundabout way to get there through a masters in systems engineering and then a Ph.D. in computer science with a focus on cognitive science. I didn't pursue a psychology degree outright because, well, psychologists aren't exactly taken seriously around here in this technology-oriented realm.
I had my doubts along the way, but I ended up sticking to my plan. I attained my masters degree and am now pursuing my Ph.D.
I don't plan on taking on any other major financial obligations, such as children, until I work myself into a position where I can easily afford them. To this end, I'm working my way up the food chain chain, albeit somewhat more slowly so that I can maintain my sanity.
Falling in love with someone
In my last relationship, I just sort of "grew" to love her. I really didn't even like her, but I was afraid of pursuing those I
did like. It was just.. obvious that she liked me, and I rolled with it.
So, yeah, that was the wrong way to go about things.
As I tend to do, I devised a rough plan to overcome my general anxiety and find a meaningful relationship in one fell swoop. Through dating and getting more involved socially, I'd trained myself to read people pretty well. It seemed that I was able to discern whether someone would be a brief fling, a one-night stand, or a full-on relationship within a few hours of meeting her.. what was key was what I wanted. I had my temptations to the contrary, but I was ultimately determined to find a meaningful relationship.
In parallel, I also wanted to be strong enough to support another person--to
be the right person for someone else. I'd read up more on psychology (which also, of course, helped me with my career) and relationships, talked to my married friends about what made their relationships successful. I also got myself back into therapy and tackled my overall anxiety head-on. You name it, I was doing it both for self-improvement and for meeting the needs of someone else in the future.
I eventually got sick of the dating game and put it on hold. Then, I met my current. I'd recalled some things that I'd been telling myself--including that these more extroverted and straightforward women were probably not for me and that
I needed to be the one pursue--and went with it. Within moments of meeting her, I had a pretty good indication of the kind of person she was and pretty much immediately fell in love with her.
But I wanted to take things slowly, because I very much cared for her. I also didn't want to repeat "rushing into things" as had happened with my last relationship. We didn't "officially" establish our relationship until a month and a half after we met; in that time, I'd exposed her to a bunch of my interests and personal struggles so that she could get to know me. Likewise, I got to know her to a greater extent.
We met in February. I plan to ask her to marry me in December, once she has graduated and gotten a bit further in her career path and is ready to move forward.
So that's how I fall in love.
Choosing a pet
Dunno. I like cats, because they're not completely dependent and are still loving. My cat is a sweetheart
Buying a car
Practicality. My current car, a new car, came with a huge rebate because it had a previous owner for all of.. 720 miles. I bought it pretty much by accident, though; I was on my way to pick up another car, and my dad suggested to stop by the Hyundai dealership. So I did. And I bought one.
Oh, and I pretty much require a stick shift. Automatics make me die a little inside.
Grocery shopping
I've got a general list that I keep on my phone, sort of, but there are always items that I forget to put on it. I often end up meandering about the store and picking up random stuff that's on the list.
I have no budget, because I don't really spend a lot of money as it is. I've got some systems together to track my finances, so, if there ever comes a time where these systems tell me that I'm buying too much stuff, I just buy less stuff next time.
Buying a pair of shoes
Okay, fine, I go for a little bit of style. I used to "cheap out" on shoes, but I don't any longer. Uncomfortable shoes are a major pain to deal with and are just not worth the savings.