I have found myself in a situation where a Type Two ISFP I know (not a close friend, but a good acquaintance with whom I have a meaningful connection) has been flaky and hurt my feelings very badly. You can read about my experiences with her in these two posts:
This one happened many years ago:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/713934-post12.html
This one, last October:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/1040065-post21.html
I am planning to call her in a couple of months about something practical I need to ask her, but I would also like to talk to her about what happened last fall. How should I proceed?
I handle such conversations in a consistent manner, no matter what type a person is.
The reason I have chosen to do so is that I feel you have much more to gain by treating everyone with the same level of respect, courteousy, and civility, than you do by trying to craft several tones of approach for given types of people. If anything, I think you have alot to lose if you invest too heavily in considering type dynamics in a conversation intended to serve as a means for you to communicate with a freidn that has done wrong by you in some capacity, than you have to gain, simply because it is impossible for you to determine where someone adheres to generalisations of their type, and where they differ.
So, in short:
------------
(1) Write down your side of the conversation before you initiate it. Doing so will ensure you have understand your own motivations very clearly, and also reinforce your sense of chronology over the course of events that led to the difference.
(2) Do not under any circumstances have this conversation by phone, e-mail, or text message if the person is in your physical proximity. Doing so is impersonal, and opens the whole conversation up to misinterpretation of non-verbal cues.
(3) Contact your friend and tell them you have a few things you'd like to talk to them about. Don't ambush them with the discussion when your purpose was supposed to do something simple, like go bowling, or have lunch, or whatever. No one likes surprises in situations like this.
(4) At the beginning of your conversation THANK THEM for their time, and let them know you appreciate the chance to talk with them. You will have their undivided attention, and you will have their respect for taking the high road. Ask them to allow you to talk first, and that they listen to your account from start to finish. This prevents agenda hopping.
(5)
Be direct:
"The reason I asked you to talk with me is because you hurt my feelings on a few occasions. Once was when we were doing "A" together and you said "X", and the other time was when we did "B" together, and you said "Y."
(6) Go into the details of each incidient. Be accurate, clear, concise, and complete. Avoid sounding derogatory at all costs if you wish to keep all channels open and keep things civil.
(7) Close your delivery with a quick recap. Effective communication uses the following format: (a) Tell them what you are going to say, (b) Say it, and (c) Tell them what you said.
(8) Ask them for their feedback.
(9) Offer your ideas for reconciliation as you deem fit.
(10) Always remain of a calm tone of voice. Avoid terms like "You did this" or other language that puts them on the spot or causes premature shame.
(11) If they get upset and wish to discontinue the conversation, allow them to do so, and ask them if you can reschedule it sometime soon if it is important to you.
That's my strategy for such events. I hope it is useful to you in some capacity.
Good luck,
-Halla