How do I develop a sense of humor?

[dnivera]

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not entirely happy with the type I was born with. I'm overly serious, I take everything personally, and I don't joke around with others. I admire people who can keep up witty repartee.
So, my question is, how do I develop a sense of humor? My parents were very serious, formal, no-nonsense kind of people so I never got it from them. I hate being a robot.

I know everyone will recommend spending time with funny people (I've been trying to find them among my circle of sarcastic scientists) and maybe watching sitcoms. Is that really going to help? What else can I do?

Part of it is that I just don't find a lot of things funny. Bodily humor, I don't enjoy. I don't really like sarcasm and I try not to use it myself, since I find it pessimistic. I mostly enjoy clean, smart jokes, and interesting word usage in unexpected situations (like Mad Libs). Maybe SJ humor was more prevalent pre-1960s; I find earlier TV and writing more funny than whatever's on TV these days.

I do enjoy some of the witty banter here on some of the lighter threads and wish that I could do that myself! If only I knew the right thing to say. I can never come up with a response fast enough, and I seem to think of responses too slowly. Maybe S humor and N humor are different?

 

[Simplexity]

I think there is a big difference between N and S humor and personally prefer N humor because it fits with my personal preference of being open ended and making connections. I think probably the best method for learning anything is experiencing what you intend to learn in a casual, less serious manner where the focus is on communicating not listing(playing a sport with profesionals as opposed to reading strategies) and in this regard humor is no different. If N humor is what you prefer I would suggest just watching comedians like Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart and Monty Python.

I would also suggest seeking out people with good vocabularies because having a deep and complex understanding of vocabulary with the ability to apply it effortlessly in a number of different situations often times involves an intuitive understanding and it also lends it self to puns which are also very intuitive. Philosphers are also good in this regard and they are most often in my opinion very humorous in a naturally intelligent effortless manner.


The biggest thing though is experiencing someone who is funny on a moderately consistent basis so that you inturn grasp how to one understand the humor and also to apply it yourself in an unforced way which is IMO the only for something to truly be really funny.

 

[Martoon]

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not entirely happy with the type I was born with.

Nothin' wrong with ISTJ. And based on the percentages in your sig, you're pretty balanced - you could almost say XXXJ.

I'm overly serious

Well, it sounds like you don't want to be, so you must not be too serious about being serious.

I take everything personally

Well, that's gotta stop. I think if you really work on that, most of the rest will fall into place. Stop taking yourself so seriously, and so will everyone else.

My parents were very serious, formal, no-nonsense kind of people so I never got it from them.

It's never too late to learn. And if you tend to project the same kind of image they did, play to that. It can be amazingly funny when someone like that comes out with something unexpected, especially when delivered in a deadpan way. And people probably won't know if you were trying to be funny or not. Have fun with that. Keep them wondering. People's psyches are playthings to be toyed with. Bat those suckers around like a kitten with a, um, little tiny toy psyche. Or something.

Part of it is that I just don't find a lot of things funny. Bodily humor, I don't enjoy. I don't really like sarcasm and I try not to use it myself, since I find it pessimistic. I mostly enjoy clean, smart jokes, and interesting word usage in unexpected situations (like Mad Libs). Maybe SJ humor was more prevalent pre-1960s; I find earlier TV and writing more funny than whatever's on TV these days.

Don't try to force yourself into humor that isn't your style. Go with what you find funny. That's your best shot at getting someone else to.

 

[Thursday]

get on my aim

 

[ajblaise]

I'd recommend cutting a little loose in your life in general (which would probably be a good thing on it's own) and your sense of humor will develop. I see someone's worldview and their sense of humor to be very related.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

I think the first step is to learn to laugh at yourself. If you take yourself too seriously it will reflect on how you view everything else. Try to examine your own life and see if you do things that are weird compared to the norm, especially if you can't really explain why. Appreciate the humor in that and then you'll start seeing it elsewhere too.

 

[Mole]

Humour is actually very interesting.

In spite of what I first thought, humour is a cognitive function rather than a creative function of the mind.

So for instance. as you turn off the cognitive functions of your mind as you enter a trance, you also turn off humour. In fact one of the signs you are in a trance, is that, temporarily, your sense of humour is asleep.

But from a practical point of view, humour is, most of all, enjoyable.

So it is a mistake to directly try and develop a sense of humour, the better approach is to find things you enjoy and keep on enjoying them. The truly important thing to do in your life is to cultivate enjoyment.

If you follow your enjoyment, your humour will follow - humour follows enjoyment - humour loves enjoyment and enjoyment loves humour.

 

[Udog]

Go to comedy shows. Laughter is contagious, and being in a group of people that are laughing may help you to loosen up. Also, downing a few beverages beforehand may not hurt! Both should help make the comic appear funnier than he would be under normal circumstances, and may help you open yourself up to other types of humor.

You can also try reading the book "Comedy Writing Secrets", which is a pretty good introduction to some of the concept of humor.

 

[disregard]

I think a sense of humor relies upon a joie de vivre (which does necessarily ensure it), which is impossible to attain when you take everything personally and are overly serious!

Work on that. Work on your fear.

 

[edcoaching]

I do think there's an S-N difference in humor. Usually Mel Brooks plays to both sides. Monty Python tends to be N. Humor that plays off of real life (watch or listen to Bill Cosby's old routines for example, not the TV shows, as he talks about growing up with his brother, watching horror films, etc.) seems to work for both as well.

N's tend to want to engage the mind with the humor, so patterns and running jokes and fast wordplay and humor where you have to know something to get it are favorites (A philospher sat at a bar. The bartender asked, "Want another drink?" He answered, "I think not..." and disappeared...)

My husband prefers Sensing and thinks Mouse Hunt and some other slapstic stuff is way funnier than I find it. Young Frankenstein and Princess Bride and A Christmas Story are mutually funny.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

You could start by being less of a total nerd.

I have a feeling that you're putting too much pressure on yourself to come up with the "right" line. Wit and humor are best when they're spontaneous, and those people aren't putting pressure on themselves to be funny. It happens because their mind is free to move into areas of linguistic and situation absurdity. You can't demand yourself to produce something like that because you can't demand that you produce anything natural. So, you really have to be in the right mood, and self-critical or judgmental (same thing, different orientation) is not the right mood.

So, what should you do? I say forget trying to be a funny person and focus on laughing and loosening up. Start to broaden your comedic palette by searching out new comedians and new forms of comedy (physical, slapstick, situational). If you demand yourself to like it, well, obviously, you won't, because you won't be in the right mood (back to self-critical). If you've already set some parameters about what humor tickles you, you also won't enjoy it because you'll be too discriminating (back to judgmental). If you just give a chance, who knows. Maybe it'll suck, but maybe you'll find its extreme suckage to be amusing.

YouTube and ComedyCentral might be some places to start. Renting some movies, watching some shows (Curb Your Enthusiasm), cartoons maybe (Family Guy), too. (I don't like modern sitcoms either, by the way.)

 

[Xander]

Try searching yourself up some 'Yes minister' and 'Yes prime minister' if you like word humour.

Oh and echoing Edahn, it's a game. Just play it the way you enjoy playing it. Screw what others find funny. Hell half the time I'm the only one laughing but I can usually jolly people along.

The ISTJ I know usually finds parallels with his vast repository of information funny or amusing switches of words but most often of all he is the straight guy. It's not that he's funny per se but his reactions to humour are. From my point of view I'm happy to have him around because even though he's no Tommy Cooper he is fun... even if it is based on a background of victimisation (as lots of humour is).

 

[dnivera]

Don't get me wrong, I actually really enjoy laughter and being silly. I just don't find lots of mainstream humor funny. Saturday Night Live and John Stewart are hit-or-miss for me lots of the time. I don't get Monty Python humor (it's just strange to me, occasionally funny, but not belly-laugh funny). For puns, it depends....some are reallly bad. I do like satires, like Family Guy or South Park, depending on the subject. Most of the time I don't care for those shows.

But I still don't really know how to answer people's witty remarks with retorts of my own. I tend to answer seriously all the time. Eh, I think you're right that I put too much pressure on myself. I think I need to be able to understand N humor (like Monty Python) better before I can do that.

 

[Splittet]

Well, I found the thread title hilarious... Maybe you could consciously make similar jokes and develop self-irony?

 

[dnivera]

But then you would be laughing *at* me and not *with* me. It's bad enough already.

 

[colmena]

But then you would be laughing *at* me and not *with* me. It's bad enough already.

Then take charge and make it a conscious decision.

Someone not getting a joke can be very funny. If you emphasise the literal meaning and play it up, it can make it even more funny.

 

[colmena]

THE VICAR OF DIBLEY jokes at the end. ^


Can some people in the UK give me a


YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.


Then just hit them with some awesome T pre and post jokes.

 

[Giggly]

Actually, I think you're taking this humor thing too seriously. From the way you've described yourself, you sound pretty normal to me. There is nothing wrong with you. So not everything is funny to you? That's okay. And guess what? When other people are talking to you and being all witty and funny, they usually like to be the "star" or "the funniest person in the room" anyway, so let them. If all else fails, I think Victor's advice was good.

 

[Haphazard]

S and N humor are likely different.

A bit of advice -- don't tell jokes in a deadpan. They'll think you're serious. I've gotten into assloads of trouble this way.

And a question for you. Do you find the Ministry of Silly Walks funny?

 

[Mozzes]

S and N humor are likely different.

A bit of advice -- don't tell jokes in a deadpan. They'll think you're serious. I've gotten into assloads of trouble this way.

Admittedly that can be pretty funny though.