[INFJ] Hate an INFJ? Tell us why!

[DJAchtundvierzig]

I've seen other threads like this one going around for other types, so I decided to create one for the INFJ.

 

[Amargith]

...how direct do ya want it?

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

Very direct I can handle it. *Gets tissue box*

 

[Sniffles]

I doubt she's talking about you DJAchtundvierzig as far as INFJs she hates.

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

Haha I know she wasn't directing it at me. But I'm still an INFJ.

 

[Amargith]

Ok..well the things that bug me the most are:

* passive-aggressive, especially in a snipy way. I actually use it myself when I get defensive with someone I feel uncomfortable with, but I very much try to avoid it as I find it to be the equivalent to cutting someone with a scalpel, just without the anaesthetics.

* The high-and-mighty thing. I get that that's Ni for ya, and I love Ni normally, but there's something about the NiFe combo that just irks me. It's that whole 'This is the way it is/should be and you're an idiot for not seeing it or unworthy for not living up to that standard'. I know INTJs are prone to the same thing especially when it comes to work standards, but somehow I can smile better at that (I'm allergic to guilttripping Fe, so that might be it)

* The martyr-thing. The 'Woe, me, I'm so tough for bearing this burden while nobody cares.' Not everyone is gifted in seeing that you need help. You have a mouth, you're not a child, ASK! Do NOT guilttrip.

* Judgemental. Someone who doesn't live up to your standards and has a different pov somehow has to prove their worth to you 10 times before you'll even consider them potentially interesting, or so it feels, at times.


Note: I'm aware that due to my own perspective and my limited sample pool of INFJs, this is bound to be somewhat subjective and biased. And it clearly mostly applies to the more..immature ones still. Hope this was what you were looking for

 

[Lady_X]

oh come on...no one hates infjs they just don't...

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

Ok..well the things that bug me the most are:

* The high-and-mighty thing. I get that that's Ni for ya, and I love Ni normally, but there's something about the NiFe combo that just irks me. It's that whole 'This is the way it is/should be and you're an idiot for not seeing it or unworthy for not living up to that standard'. I know INTJs are prone to the same thing especially when it comes to work standards, but somehow I can smile better at that (I'm allergic to guilttripping Fe, so that might be it)

* The martyr-thing. The 'Woe, me, I'm so tough for bearing this burden while nobody cares.' Not everyone is gifted in seeing that you need help. You have a mouth, you're not a child, ASK! Do NOT guilttrip.

* Judgemental. Someone who doesn't live up to your standards and has a different pov somehow has to prove their worth to you 10 times before you'll even consider them potentially interesting, or so it feels, at times.


Note: I'm aware that due to my own perspective and my limited sample pool of INFJs, this is bound to be somewhat subjective and biased. And it clearly mostly applies to the more..immature ones still. Hope this was what you were looking for

I have a very strong Ni and Fe, and this definatly applys to me. I have a feeling this thread is going to make me hate myself... You should all pitty me for bearing this burden. But you wont will you? You will never live up to my out of this world expectations, I know that. Untill you do, your worth nothing to me, get out of my sight.

Just kidding. Yes this is what I was looking for. And all of that does apply to me, but I don't let it blow out of poportion.

 

[highlander]

LOL. Like I know any INFJs well enough to hate them.

Actually, I don't believe I hate anyone.

 

[Lady_X]

i only know two also haha

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

Hey will you look at that, 31 people voted "Awesome!" Nice...

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

We can be such inner narcisists (sp?)

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I love INFJs that I meet. They can be a little serious, but they've got smart hearts. They're geeky and devoted and shrewd and they care about growth, meaning, spirituality, and doing the right thing. That's just awesome in my book. I would totally marry one. Or 5. At the same time.

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

I love INFJs that I meet. They can be a little serious, but they've got smart hearts. They're geeky and devoted and shrewd and they care about growth, meaning, spirituality, and doing the right thing. That's just awesome in my book. I would totally marry one. Or 5. At the same time.

I honestly think that the good of the INFJ (And any other type) Can easily outweigh the bad. It's just up to the person to make that decision. And if they choose to do the wrong thing, thats not the INFJ's fault, thats the person's fault.

 

[mochajava]

Ok..well the things that bug me the most are:

* passive-aggressive, especially in a snipy way. I actually use it myself when I get defensive with someone I feel uncomfortable with, but I very much try to avoid it as I find it to be the equivalent to cutting someone with a scalpel, just without the anaesthetics.

* The high-and-mighty thing. I get that that's Ni for ya, and I love Ni normally, but there's something about the NiFe combo that just irks me. It's that whole 'This is the way it is/should be and you're an idiot for not seeing it or unworthy for not living up to that standard'. I know INTJs are prone to the same thing especially when it comes to work standards, but somehow I can smile better at that (I'm allergic to guilttripping Fe, so that might be it)

* The martyr-thing. The 'Woe, me, I'm so tough for bearing this burden while nobody cares.' Not everyone is gifted in seeing that you need help. You have a mouth, you're not a child, ASK! Do NOT guilttrip.

* Judgemental. Someone who doesn't live up to your standards and has a different pov somehow has to prove their worth to you 10 times before you'll even consider them potentially interesting, or so it feels, at times.


Note: I'm aware that due to my own perspective and my limited sample pool of INFJs, this is bound to be somewhat subjective and biased. And it clearly mostly applies to the more..immature ones still. Hope this was what you were looking for

These are reasonable. They sound like the bad parts of my personality. Unfortunately, I'm not an apple where you can just take a knife to all the rotten parts and keep making pie...

 

[mochajava]

I love INFJs that I meet. They can be a little serious, but they've got smart hearts. They're geeky and devoted and shrewd and they care about growth, meaning, spirituality, and doing the right thing. That's just awesome in my book. I would totally marry one. Or 5. At the same time.

I'm really silly when I'm w/ people I'm close to... like giggly... but you're right, I will seem quite serious/formal when you first meet me (unless you make the first silly move, or there's alcohol involved).

 

[musicnerd93]

I love INFJs. They're sensitive and imaginative without being too frothy and flaky. I don't know why anyone would hate an INFJ. I think they rock!

 

[KDude]

I was reading that INFJ's inferior has an SP wannabe side. Also, in socionics, some INFps have been said to act ESTPish at times. Funny..

If I was going to say that if anyone could hate me, it'd be because of this stuff.. where it's not cool "in the moment" S behavior, but over-the-top, pushing it's limits. Anyone else experience this? I've read some stuff from INFJs here that make them sound seductive and adventurous.. I'd imagine that's not always a good thing or all INFJs use it right. Secondly, I could imagine that under stress, they could be pushy or aggressive (not passive aggressive) in other ways. Which wouldn't always win fans either.

I think it's cool if someone remained completely inconspicuous and respectable all of their life, but it sounds inaccurate that INFJs would necessarily be that. To me, Marlon Brando seems like an INFJ who encapsulated all of it. And if you listen to this interview (which is really great, if you have the time), you'll see all kinds of Ni-Fe idealism there. But he wasn't always the nicest guy either.. he died alone, seduced many women but never could hold a marriage down. People either loved him or hated him.

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

I was reading that INFJ's inferior has an SP wannabe side.

I could relate to this, but I still think being an N is the best damn thing!

 

[Zarathustra]

Seriously, Amar, your whole post could have literally been taken straight out of my mind...

It's when you read stuff like this that you realize that this typology stuff actually does have a good amount going for it...

* passive-aggressive, especially in a snipy way.

So true...

And I hate passive-aggressiveness...

If you want to be aggressive, be aggressive. Don't fucking feign like you're not, when you actually are. It's just fake, and makes me want to

* The high-and-mighty thing. I get that that's Ni for ya, and I love Ni normally, but there's something about the NiFe combo that just irks me. It's that whole 'This is the way it is/should be and you're an idiot for not seeing it or unworthy for not living up to that standard'. I know INTJs are prone to the same thing especially when it comes to work standards, but somehow I can smile better at that (I'm allergic to guilttripping Fe, so that might be it)

Yeah, the difference is that we have our vision, but we realize that it is our vision.

INFJs, on the other hand, think that their vision should be everybody's vision. As such, they have a deep desire to control everyone around them, which is why, deep down, so many of them tend to be a bunch of lil

s...

* The martyr-thing. The 'Woe, me, I'm so tough for bearing this burden while nobody cares.'

Seriously. Jesus. H. Christ. Woe is fucking you.

You are "so good" and everyone else is "so not as good as you", and it's just so hard on you it makes you wanna .

Fuckin' a. Get over yourself.

* Judgemental.

Yeah, this is wrapped up in all of the above.

When it comes down to it, they are just extremely judgmental, cuz they think they know what's right for everybody. It makes most of them a bunch of little control freaks, who then get all emo when they realize that they won't be able to control everybody.

It's fucking pathetic... What kinda of messed up wiring is that...?

Note: I'm aware that due to my own perspective and my limited sample pool of INFJs, this is bound to be somewhat subjective and biased. And it clearly mostly applies to the more..immature ones still. Hope this was what you were looking for

Anyway, I like the idea of a really mature INFJ who doesn't engage in stuff like this, but, unfortunately, I find that the majority do...

I guess the INFJ choice is either or

.

The difference between the two is probably highly related to something very important that the former realized:

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye"
(Matthew 7.1-5 ESV)