[ISFP] Hard on the outside, mushy on the inside?

[Lia_kat]

Do you think ISFPs are the types to be "hard on the outside, mushy on the inside"? More so than others?

I walk my own path and really don't care to fit into any groups or follow societal "norms". I'm extremely laid back and polite to everyone. I keep to myself and keep most people at a distance, but also get along well with almost anyone. I do avoid confrontation... but I'm also very blunt, assertive, straightforward. Especially if I'm upset or I'm talking about something that really matters to me. I won't go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings - it's not in my nature and I use my words wisely - but I'm very much the type of person to hide my sensitivity behind a serious don't-give-a-fuck attitude. And usually I don't (when I do, I hide it well). So that can come off as rude to certain people, I guess?

The other day my co-worker said I have "this intense stare" and that "people are probably afraid of you." (Jokingly). This is someone I just started working with so she hasn't seen my silly, super nice, mushy side yet. But my husband has said this too in the past because of my constant "bitch face" LOL.

Anyway, do you think some ISFPs give this impression if they have highly-developed Te? Is it typical of ISFPs to come across as intimidating or rude?

 

[Earl Grey]

This is an interesting bit I've thought about.

There are two problems here, this question (or confusion) assumes 2 things;
1) that quiet, and unassuming (in this case, Introverts and/or Fi) people are automatically very effacing and indirect
2) directness and bluntness are seemingly exclusive attributes of Te

If #1 and #2 are both false and borne of misconceptions, the question wouldn't exist to begin with. I am fairly certain #1 is false (being an introvert myself), and being introduced to MBTI I've always wondered why 'bluntness, directness' was thrown around so much to describe Te to the point where it seems like it's attributed to almost exclusively Te, when Fi is supposedly authenticity?

There is a difference between electing to employ gentleness to be able to pad criticism, and being iconoclastic and noncomformist; both of which are traits that have been highly attributed to Fi, but the former has to do with others, and the latter to do with the realm of one's self. I would imagine that such a self-invested person would be more comfortable sticking to their guns (than doing the opposite)- sticking to their beliefs, lifestyles, and things to do with their selfhood- all of which can often involve being direct, and even terse and perhaps even deviating so much that it registers as 'rude'; in other words, it's not incompatible with high Fi to begin with, and are natural to see.

So; "do you think some ISFPs give this impression if they have good Te? Is it typical of ISFPs to come across as intimidating or rude?" - certainly, but I cannot say it necessarily has to do with 'developed / good Te'.

CMIIW.

 

[Lia_kat]

This is an interesting bit I've thought about.

There are two problems here, this question (or confusion) assumes 2 things;
1) that quiet, and unassuming (in this case, Introverts and/or Fi) people are automatically very effacing and indirect
2) directness and bluntness are seemingly exclusive attributes of Te

If #1 and #2 are both false and borne of misconceptions, the question wouldn't exist to begin with. I am fairly certain #1 is false (being an introvert myself), and being introduced to MBTI I've always wondered why 'bluntness, directness' was thrown around so much to describe Te to the point where it seems like it's attributed to almost exclusively Te, when Fi is supposedly authenticity?

There is a difference between electing to employ gentleness to be able to pad criticism, and being iconoclastic and noncomformist; both of which are traits that have been highly attributed to Fi, but the former has to do with others, and the latter to do with the realm of one's self. I would imagine that such a self-invested person would be more comfortable sticking to their guns (than doing the opposite)- sticking to their beliefs, lifestyles, and things to do with their selfhood- all of which can often involve being direct, and even terse and perhaps even deviating so much that it registers as 'rude'; in other words, it's not incompatible with high Fi to begin with, and are natural to see.

So; "do you think some ISFPs give this impression if they have good Te? Is it typical of ISFPs to come across as intimidating or rude?" - certainly, but I cannot say it necessarily has to do with 'developed / good Te'.

CMIIW.

I confess I'm not the most knowledgeable when it comes the functions, but I get ya. I guess I could've worded it differently? I just thought an ISFP with highly-developed Te can come across differently than one that's not.

 

[Earl Grey]

I confess I'm not the most knowledgeable when it comes the functions, but I get ya. I guess I could've worded it differently? I just thought an ISFP with highly-developed Te can come across differently than one that's not.

Neither am I with MBTI in general, actually, but I can explain the level of knowledge I do have, as the above.
Then if you were to ask me that, my answer would be; certainly, because the different levels of strength / usage of functions will mean the individual manifests differently, but I wouldn't be sure exactly how they would manifest it, or if multiple ISFP would manifest it similarly, in the same manners.

Maybe other ISFPs / people good in functions could pitch in on that.

 

[typologyenthusiast]

I once I had a classmate sitting next to me back in Highschool. I typed him ISFP. He possess an euphonic voice when singing. He told me that he was accustomed to sing in church. Once we had a chemistry class group assignment presenting Halogen through some art , we chose to present it in a song. He took the initiative to became the lead singer. I don't have the opinion of ISFP is Hard in the outside. But He is a bit cocky, overconfident, overoptimistic, the later I attribute to the introverted judging function. We used to play Winning Eleven on PS1. He seemed to have some difficulty in math class that he liked to cheat on my answer during quizzes.

 

[FemMecha]

I think you are describing the Fi-dom aspect, and being opinionated about certain things and not socially dependent could be ISFP traits. I used to hang out on the ISFP forums elsewhere and I wouldn't say that everyone seemed hard on the outside. There would likely have been a percentage of them that would agree with all of what you say and some that would say it differently. What you describe doesn't sound particularly hard on the outside compared with how I see Te-doms and Te-auxs. There is a kind of bluntness that goes beyond what an ISFP would typically be like. idk

Kurt Cobain and Fiona Apple are both two really strong Fi-doms (maybe INFP for both - maybe only Fiona) that have their type of edge, but also have a mellow softness, albeit not socially connected.

I find imposing too much onto the environment is a Je quality, but it tends to have a more 'together' quality. I think Te or Fe has more ability to take control over a room, unless its a Ne or Se zany kind of influence. I tend to equate that with more intimidating in a way, except there have been some Fi or Ti-dom posters who are quite intense in their writing. I guess this is a long way of saying, yes, sometimes, but there is a lot of variety and contrast within a type.

 

[1487610420]

IME, yes, i've had my share of ISFP hard on.

 

[Lia_kat]

IME, yes, i've had my share of ISFP hard on.

Please share.

 

[FemMecha]

This is more anecdotal, but partly why I type as a P instead of a J is because I'm kinda too laid back to be a J, so that's an assumption on my part. I have my moments, but mostly I don't think that I am intimidating. I have trouble disciplining children or animals because they interpret my serious vibe as a super fun game. There is once in a blue moon I can dig in my heels. It happened in a dance class where someone was acting really bratty towards the instructor, and I gave them an intense stare and told them they were 'very distracting' and I didn't back down. The instructor ended up trying to moderate it, but I didn't smile or back down and the lady stormed out of class and slammed the door. I did do that which was intense enough to get a reaction, but that is kinda unusual for me. Generally though, I get mistaken for being less intimidating than I actually am for some reason - my face is expressive, some kinda funny expressions, and my eyes dart around a lot. I can't swear by my type but it does seem fairly accurate overall.

 

[1487610420]

Please share.

TWSS. NSFW.

 

[Lia_kat]

This is more anecdotal, but partly why I type as a P instead of a J is because I'm kinda too laid back to be a J, so that's an assumption on my part. I have my moments, but mostly I don't think that I am intimidating. I have trouble disciplining children or animals because they interpret my serious vibe as a super fun game. There is once in a blue moon I can dig in my heels. It happened in a dance class where someone was acting really bratty towards the instructor, and I gave them an intense stare and told them they were 'very distracting' and I didn't back down. The instructor ended up trying to moderate it, but I didn't smile or back down and the lady stormed out of class and slammed the door. I did do that which was intense enough to get a reaction, but that is kinda unusual for me. Generally though, I get mistaken for being less intimidating than I actually am for some reason - my face is expressive, some kinda funny expressions, and my eyes dart around a lot. I can't swear by my type but it does seem fairly accurate overall.

I appreciate your input. I'm definitely a P as well and extremely laid back. I really hate confrontation if I don't have to, and avoid it at all costs. I'd rather not deal with anyone at all, if I had the option. Many have said I'm an unassuming person.

Then there's this other side that I put up that's very tough (What I meant by "hard on the outside"). Although earlier I was thinking that this can be a "defense mechanism" I've developed instead of a type thing, tbh. Maybe? I hate being taken advantage of. I've been disrespected, talked over/ignored, and stepped on more times than I can count....mostly because certain people take "quiet and nice" or kind to mean that you're weak and easy to manipulate. I also work in an environment that can get very stressful and with loud, obnoxious, assertive people. So maybe that has somehow has influenced the way I interact.

But also, going back to what you said with the Fi-dom aspect, I can't tolerate not being true to myself, I feel fake and inauthentic. I value honesty highly. So much that I really don't mind if someone gets upset at me about it and I cause conflict. BUT it also depends on the situation. I observe a lot before I act (especially the people around me) and if I can do something else to keep the peace, I will. Does that make sense?