[Traditional Enneagram] For gut people: Do you see yourself as angry ?

[Virtual ghost]

This is something that is on my mind offen over the last few months: how big is the difference between the anger you see in yourself and anger others seem to see in you ?


I always saw myself as a fairly celebral person, especially since I am and I was surrounded with them. I live to study things, get new information, do something with conclusions ... but there seems to be the side of me that I ignore in a certain way since it is just a part of me and I always presumed that others also have it beneath their skin. For example I used video games in order to shoot stuff and wage virtual wars since I was 5, this is so in me that I don't notice it but to many see such behaviour is scary. The other day I said to my mother "Well, then I will talk about it to the dad about it" and she was all like "Ok, ok but please don't yell at him" and I my mind I was "WTF?". I had a conversation with one girl recently as she asked me to quiet down. Due to circumatances that totally were not my wish I ended in a few physical fights then I was younger and didn't lost a single one of them. However often I was rated as a person that you don't want to provoke ... etc.



All of this isn't that much spectacular but though my entire life there are these situations when my picture of myself and my anger is out of touch with what I seem to be to others. Is this just me or this is typical for all gut people ?

 

[ceecee]

It can be huge. I also hear - don't yell. Yelling = anger. Sorry but no it does not, not in every case. That's almost impossible to get people to understand. It's not common for me to yell much anymore and it's rare that I get that angry but hey, sometimes the circumstances call for it.

 

[geedoenfj]

I don't know about other gut people, but I am viewed as a strong and stubborn person, and often accused of being an angry person, I think I am.. Though I know I am reasonable at the same time..
When someone get on my nerves they would not like the side of me that they will see, I don't usually get myself into physical fights, but I the last fight a had with a man in the street when I was driving, it was not physical but I tried hard to not beat him up in the middle of the street hahaha it's really not easy to get me THAT angry..
I have an ESTP best friend who sounds like an angry person but I think there's always a rational reason for her anger

 

[Virtual ghost]

I don't know about other gut people, but I am viewed as a strong and stubborn person, and often accused of being an angry person, I think I am.. Though I know I am reasonable at the same time..
When someone get on my nerves they would not like the side of me that they will see, I don't usually get myself into physical fights, but I the last fight a had with a man in the street when I was driving, it was not physical but I tried hard to not beat him up in the middle of the street hahaha it's really not easy to get me THAT angry..
I have an ESTP best friend who sounds like an angry person but I think there's always a rational reason for her anger

Well, you have desintegration point towards 8 so this is hardly a surprise.

 

[geedoenfj]

Well, you have desintegration point towards 8 so this is hardly a surprise.

How is that hardly a surprise Is it not surprise for an ENFJ? Do you think I have an 8 vibe?

 

[Virtual ghost]

How is that hardly a surprise

From theoretical point of view: when you desintegrate you show negative traits of type 8 and that is clearly anger.


From more personal side: I simply don't have a hard time seeing you explode into peoples faces from time to time.

 

[geedoenfj]

From theoretical point of view: when you desintegrate you show negative traits of type 8 and that is clearly anger.


From more personal side: I simply don't have a hard time seeing you explode into peoples faces from time to time.

You evil-doer ENTJ! I bet you'd be happy to see me do that, you'd just sit back and watch haha

 

[Virtual ghost]

It can be huge. I also hear - don't yell. Yelling = anger. Sorry but no it does not, not in every case. That's almost impossible to get people to understand. It's not common for me to yell much anymore and it's rare that I get that angry but hey, sometimes the circumstances call for it.

So in the case yelling isn't equal to anger then what is really yelling in you opinion ?

You evil-doer ENTJ! I bet you'd be happy to see me do that, you'd just sit back and watch haha

Well I got to know a few ENFJs over the years and each of them has well covered up dark side, no matter how nice they seem to be. Therefore I presume that they all have it. :confession:

 

[geedoenfj]

Well I got to know a few ENFJs over the years and each of them has well covered up dark side, no matter how nice they seem to be. Therefore I presume that they all have it. :confession:

We need the dark side to balance the nice side

 

[human101]

I find ENFJs to be quietly competitive. Anyway as a gut type I think anger governs a lot of my actions.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

We need the dark side to balance the nice side

It's the fact there is such a sea-change 180 degree turn in how this is presented that is so....:backout:

 

[Captain_Invincible]

When I was a kid, I had bad anger issues; I broke a laptop, wardrobe door, and a cell phone within weeks of each other. I was so angry for a period of time that people were actually scared of me. Now that I'm older, I'm able to control my angry outbursts a lot easier. I would say that now I am more firm and assertive than just commanding, like I was as a kid. I find that you gain respect easier that way.

 

[á´…eparted]

My emotions are fairly close to the surface and I am quite expressive. As a result people can usually telegraph my mood. Because of this, people will see when I am angry 1/2 the time and thus it doesn't really shock or surprise them when it comes out. However, the full extent of it does surprise people if they have never seen it before because when I do get fully mad I become very, very nasty. Ultimately, there isn't too much of a discrepency between how I see my anger and how others do. The only time there is is when I am holding it in successfully.

 

[Galena]

It can be huge. I also hear - don't yell. Yelling = anger. Sorry but no it does not, not in every case. That's almost impossible to get people to understand. It's not common for me to yell much anymore and it's rare that I get that angry but hey, sometimes the circumstances call for it.

Not a gut type myself, but this is so much truth.

 

[ceecee]

So in the case yelling isn't equal to anger then what is really yelling in you opinion ?

Getting a point across or getting someone's attention. Or when someone in a parking lot ignores my pedestrian right of way. HEY! I'M WALKING HERE! I'm not angry, I'm just getting their attention. I also hear - please, don't yell at them - just like your mom does (my mom too).

 

[á´…eparted]

Now that I think about it, I never yell. If I do then I am REALLY angry and I can't control it.

 

[ceecee]

I find ENFJs to be quietly competitive.

I totally agree with this and no one sees that verbal bitch slap coming.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

Yes. And my new ways of going about it are even stupider than the old.

 

[Fidelia]

I don't usually think of myself as angry but am realizing more often how much I avoid certain situations because I dislike dealing with the resulting anger or frustration I feel. If I am under time deadlines or I feel like people are being needlessly obtuse at a time that they need to get with it, I am genuinely testy and short with them, which is unlike my general demeanour. Usually I would more likely use tone of voice or bluntness as one tool of many to get students or younger family members to realize I mean business, but don't actually feel any anger. There have been a few times where I've felt Incredible Hulk style anger and was surprised to realize that it had been hanging out there all along, set off by what looked liked a small event but actually was a series of frustrating situations that o could neither work around nor change. Mostly my anger doesn't find a vent in public where I will have to clean up or repair the damage inflicted after, but I think there's stuff in there that I'm not always aware of. Actually I'm aware of it, but often underestimate the extent to which it is impacting me or what degree of heaviness it is creating.

 

[geedoenfj]

It's the fact there is such a sea-change 180 degree turn in how this is presented that is so....:backout:

It's the second time I get this back-out smilie in just a couple of days hehe