Fidelia XNFJ?

[Fidelia]

The INFJ vs. ENFJ thread brought this back into my mind again. I think fairly strongly that I am an INFJ. I believe my mother is an ENFJ and while we think very similarly, she is much more outspoken than I am and tends to feel boatloads of unwarranted guilt more. I tend to have a much more tentative approach to new situations than I think an ENFJ would.

I have taken a couple of function tests though and come out with Fe first, which is supposed to be more ENFJ. My enneagram also came out as 2w1, which also is more typically ENFJ. Some people I've known have commented on me being fairly extroverted for an INFJ and I think I don't need as much alone time etc. I wonder too if teaching for a living has had any impact.

What do those of you who know me from here think? (I realize it is harder to type someone based solely on online interactions.) I'm comfortably sure I'm INFJ, but would be interested in your impressions.

 

[Synarch]

You could be ENFJ.

 

[Scott N Denver]

You've never strucken me as an ENFJ. It seems liek you collect your thoughts, then explain them, often taking up much space to do so [not a criticism there], and going into much detail. From what I've seen, ENFJ's don't [seem to] think so long and hard, and DEFINITELY don't give multiparagraph detailed answers. Most answers I've seen from them are top level and short. For example "I don't believe in ____" as compared with "here are the 15 reasons with associated explanation of why I don't believe in___"

I feel fellow-INF kindred with you, not fellow F-dom kindred.

 

[Fidelia]

What makes you think so, Synarch?

 

[Synarch]

You seem fairly socially forward.

 

[Athenian200]

I think you might be xSFJ. You seem to have a certain heaviness and reluctance to accept new ideas without carefully turning them over in your mind for a long time in your nature that I wouldn't associate with INFJs. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Usehername]

Ni fixating on people will sometimes come across as ENFJ on tests, I've found. I have scored as an ENFJ and INFJ many times, even though I most definitely am an INTJ.

 

[Oaky]

@athenian: No actually it's part of the profile of an INFJ to be quite stubborn when they think they are right. They wouldn't accept new ideas if it conflicts to what they think is right.

Fidelia. I think your an INFJ.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

You've never strucken me as an ENFJ. It seems liek you collect your thoughts, then explain them, often taking up much space to do so [not a criticism there], and going into much detail.

I would agree with this. Extraverts generally just let their thoughts out as they are thinking them. Whereas introverts can take a long time (sometimes nearly forever), collecting their thoughts before putting them down. There are a few exceptions on this forum, but that's a general trend I've noticed. You fall into the latter category, it seems.

I think you might be xSFJ.

I think ISFJ might be an option. I do see much more Fe and less Ni than I usually see in INFJs. I get more of an ISFJ vibe overall; you talk about your past, look to it for answers in the present, are fairly secure in sticking with what is known to you. But then again there are INFJs that I see place more emphasis on F vs. N, and look more like ISFJs.

 

[Synarch]

She does talk about her past a fair amount. Plus, I don't know many musical INFJ's. Then I thought about this more than a few seconds.

 

[Athenian200]

@athenian: No actually it's part of the profile of an INFJ to be quite stubborn when they think they are right. They wouldn't accept new ideas if it conflicts to what they think is right.

Oh, right, that's true.

But the problem isn't that she thinks she's right, it's that she seems to decide things by carefully weighing them and turning them over in her mind against past experience, expectations, and other things. INFJs tend to just decide that they're right more impulsively, and she seems to decide things on a process of deliberation which includes a lot of external sources.

The main reason for me thinking this is that she seems much "heavier" and down to earth than most INFJs I've seen on here... even older ones.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

She does talk about her past a fair amount. Plus, I don't know many musical INFJ's. Then I thought about this more than a few seconds.

I believe toonia is involved with music.

Also, your attention to detail is superb. You are the type that picks up on subtle subtleties; you could probably tell someone if their curtains were magenta or rose. That's more of an Si attribute, and I see that with Si doms/auxs I know and something I've never really seen in an INFJ.

 

[Fidelia]

I'm very sure that I'm not an S. I have both dated an S for a long time as well as have a dad (and perhaps brother?) who is S and find that I have a very difficult time relating to the basic thought process. I also know that I have frustrated both of them at times because we relate very differently. I work with a preponderance of SJs, particularly ESFJs, and feel very little kinship to them.

LA - I think I'm only good with thought details. When it comes to details in my surroundings I am distressingly oblivious. (Drive past people waving at me, don't notice what cars were where, any changes in construction, where stop signs are when giving directions etc).

Athenian - I think it's not so much a relunctance to consider new ideas for a long time before dismissing them, so much as there being certain subjects where I have done that and come to some conclusions. In those particular areas I am much less likely to flex unless there is something I haven't previously considered that seems to warrant deconstructing the whole structure and building it again from scratch.

I think it is true that I wouldn't be likely to express much on here if I don't feel like I have had time to think it through enough to feel pretty sure of. However, there are a lot of other ideas that am in the process of mulling over that are more tentative. I would like to see a lot of new things tried in education that have not been done before. I find that I am always moving furniture around for how things could be done differently than they are now. One of my biggest dillemmas is how to stay within a system where I am always at odds with what is accepted as standard practice.

Synarch - I have made especially efforts in the last 6 months to force myself to approach others first because it is not my natural bent, and I have found that it has been to my detriment.

 

[Ingrid in grids]

Hi fidelia - I'm fairly new here so I don't know you and I'm afraid I can't give you much of an opinion to help you.

I've been told that I can come across as more extraverted. I've also had friends who have been surprised to learn how introverted I am. I only ever test INFJ on function tests, but I've come out with some pretty weird results on the Enneagram that are supposedly incompatible with my MBTI type - 3 is always up there and the description even fits me fairly well.

I have quite a few ENFJ friends and the biggest difference I've noticed is in how we depend on Ni, which I completely live through but for my friends seems like more of an option. Maybe you'll notice this with you and your Mum?

 

[Oaky]

Oh, right, that's true.

But the problem isn't that she thinks she's right, it's that she seems to decide things by carefully weighing them and turning them over in her mind against past experience, expectations, and other things. INFJs tend to just decide that they're right more impulsively, and she seems to decide things on a process of deliberation which includes a lot of external sources.

The main reason for me thinking this is that she seems much "heavier" and down to earth than most INFJs I've seen on here... even older ones.

Maybe she does that because she doesn't want to sound like someone who doesn't know what she's talking about. People tend to want to know why someone came to a conclusion or else the argument looks faulty.
When I look at her posts, I rather get the impression that she tries to be heavy and reasonable rather than is. It makes one look at her posts with more respect.

Am I right fidelia? Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Athenian200]

When I look at her posts, I rather get the impression that she tries to be heavy and reasonable rather than is. It makes one look at her posts with more respect.

Am I right fidelia? Correct me if I'm wrong.

If you're right, I take back the SFJ thing. I could imagine an INFJ trying to look like an SFJ and succeeding too well.

 

[FemMecha]

I always thought you seemed like an INFJ, however, it is difficult to tell a person's level of extroversion online. My impression is that the more extroverted types present smaller doses of ideas in a given post, but they end up quoted and involved in more exchanges for the idea to develop. Extroverts engage others in conversation readily rather than doing a thorough analysis on their own and presenting it. Introverts often make these long posts that are sometimes forgotten because they are internally constructed and don't find the current social pulse that results in many exchanges. Also, extroverts who are invested in online communication end up with networks of friends that become evident in certain threads. Extroverts also tend to know what is going on with a number of posters. They can pick out pics that represent many posters, etc. At least this is my impression of it all, but it has hazy boundaries with many potential exceptions.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

LA - I think I'm only good with thought details. When it comes to details in my surroundings I am distressingly oblivious. (Drive past people waving at me, don't notice what cars were where, any changes in construction, where stop signs are when giving directions etc).

Ah, okay. I can pay attention to details in the environment, but I would have to be conscious of doing it.

You could be the subtype of INFJ that I mentioned in my INFJ subtypes post. The type that is quite serious, practical, and tends to be religious or very "ethical". This type I can sometimes confuse with ISFJ if I don't know them very well.

When I look at her posts, I rather get the impression that she tries to be heavy and reasonable rather than is. It makes one look at her posts with more respect.

I'd say she is pretty reasonable and purposeful; I don't think it's just an act. But I'll let her answer this.

 

[EJCC]

I'll say for starters that I think you're an INFJ. I know quite a few INFJs, and you seem more like them to me. Some random supporting points:

My enneagram also came out as 2w1, which also is more typically ENFJ.

Dude, I'm a 6. And I'm an ESTJ. Technically I should be ESFJ, or ISFJ, with that enneagram result, based on what I've read. And you probably know, from all our interactions on this site, that I'm not even CLOSE to being an F. In other words, I wouldn't take the enneagram-MBTI correlation too seriously here.

Some people I've known have commented on me being fairly extroverted for an INFJ and I think I don't need as much alone time etc. I wonder too if teaching for a living has had any impact.

Out of the three INFJs that I'm currently close friends with, only one of them really seems like an introvert. The other two, though quiet around new people, are very, very talkative around people they know, and can be incredibly social. The one who seems more like an introvert feels the need to be around his friends and girlfriend almost constantly; he dislikes being alone.

Also, your above response to Athenian sounds very INFJ to me. My INFJ friends can be quite stubborn in their views, almost to a fault And yes, they all have to take a lot of time to consider new views.

But anyways... I dunno. I just don't get an E vibe from you. Hard for me to put into words.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

You consistently write way more per post than any ENFJ I've seen on the forum. You also said yourself that your ex-boyfriend taught you a lot about the advantages of being more forward in befriending people, so I don't see your proactiveness in forum socializing as indicative of E necessarily. You'd know more about your personality functions-wise so I won't go there. I can only really compare you to other ENFJs on the forum (not all that many to be fair). You seem more considered/measured and less "feisty" than most of them. INFJ I say. *shrug*