Well I tend to trust theory more than reality, must be my Ti.
Well, maybe you could use a little more Ne there to prime the pump, then.
(Ti without a steady source of relevant data is notorious for wandering off the reservation.)
I do know that in my own case, it works pretty well.
Oh, I think it can work. it is just that, generally, looking at many different relationships, usually what I see with complete opposites is unmitigated disaster...
especially if both people are young.
Of course, that also means that if you managed to do so well with it, then that says something
positive for the both of you.
So, kudos to you.
(I know I can't make it work myself, so you're better than me there. The times I've tried with an ESFJ were
disastrous -- the stereotypical love/hate relationship. It was far too tumultuous. There was no common ground, and far too much misunderstanding.)
Now, if we shared an N or S trait, we might have met easier due to common interests, but we wouldn't be able to fill each other's needs as well. Our S and N would actually be at odds, as her preferred form would be Ni or Si, and mine would be Ne or Se.
True... but it still plays differently in reality. I find it much easier to get along with ENFJs, for example -- MUCH easier! -- despite their using Ni and me using Ne. The extro/intro thing actually did not seem to get in the way. So again, theoretically, you might think that the extro/intro difference would cause problems, but in reality, it doesn't seem to be nearly as bad as raw theory might suggest.
I think Berens (?) recommends the sharing of S or N, regardless of intro/extro pref. At least one of the more prominent names does... if I were at home, I'd look it up for you. Not that published authors define MBTI; but they are usually drawing their conclusions both on theory AND real-life experience, which carries more weight than pure theory.
(... btw, I don't mean to be arguing with you as your first experience here.
Welcome to MBTIc and thanks for sharing your thoughts -- I am hoping some others jump in too and comment on this.)
If people share only the first three letters, it can lead to all kinds of friction. (I'm going by Myers' definition of J/P of course, not Socionics where this is altered for introverts -- in which case you actually want only the first three letters different, with the fourth the same.)
Uh huh, the Socionics assigns J/P based on your primary, rather than first extroverted, function.
Perhaps the examples you have in mind were mistyped on the 4th letter for one member. In that case, their preferred traits would correspond to each other's shadow traits.
Nope. I'm 38 years old... so I am considering years and years of personal experience, along with personality theory. My conclusions is that I think what sounds like a "great idea" in theory actually doesn't pan out for a lot of people.
(And really, what in a long-term relationship can be so well micromanaged ahead of time? People constantly fall for people who look bad for them on paper.)
I know I had lots of theories about how relationships were supposed to work before I had them. Unfortunately, it's one thing to have a logical framework in mind and another to actually apply it and understand the practical elements of a relationship.
