[ESTP] ESTP's in relationships? courting?

[Unique]

:hi:

one preferably in Australia

 

[INFtha14]

one preferably in Australia

ahhh.....is this cause this is where the locals are or? if so lucky duck sounds like they have really nice weather and other things hehe.

or have a thing for aussie's who are also infj .

i never thought about ESTP's admiring INFJ hehe but then you think about the anima/anumus thing maybe that provides mystery .

though i have notice in my years of dating that I have always dated the Se types lol if not dominant it was auxiliary at least lol

first Si dominant that i dated just did not jive (I/E SFJ) seemed desperate i'm assuming he was not the most healthy SJ but it seems he's grown so i'm glad..still too wanting to do everything together (close friend of mine is dating him they seem perfect together both SJ's at least hehe. both love to be around each other as much as possible. I can understand that in a way but i'm pretty independent so at that time he scared me away) i need my autonomy and room to breathe as one whole individual xDD.

 

[Lightyear]

I am wondering too what attracts the ESTP specifically to the INFJ?

I remember an ESTP I was attracted to but he accused me of being just no fun. (because I got bored of jumping from one sensory experience to the next, I like seeing and learning new things but there also needs to be some depth at some point or I get bored)

What I like about ESTPs is their fearlessness, power of persuasion, calm in difficult situations and just their ability to deal with the real world so admirably. They definitely have some strenghts I sometimes wish I had.

 

[Halla74]

I am wondering too what attracts the ESTP specifically to the INFJ?

This depends on the individuals involved of course, but as far as types, maybe it really is as simple as "opposites attract." My friend Nikki who has cut my hair for years has a great twist to that adage BTW, she says "Opposites attract, and then they ATTACK."

I remember an ESTP I was attracted to but he accused me of being just no fun. (because I got bored of jumping from one sensory experience to the next, I like seeing and learning new things but there also needs to be some depth at some point or I get bored)

Define depth, please.

What I like about ESTPs is their fearlessness, power of persuasion, calm in difficult situations and just their ability to deal with the real world so admirably. They definitely have some strenghts I sometimes wish I had.

That's very sweet of you, we do those things indeed. Some of what I love of INFJs is their sincerity, integrity, ability to feel their way through things that mire ESTPs in mental spreadhseets (we are feeling-retarded you know, I am for damn sure!), and their ability to at a moment's notice smile in such a way as to make all the perils and evils of the real world disappear as long as their pearly whites are flashing.

These are things that we just can't do the same way as y'all can. If we try to make anyone feel better they get nervous and assume we are going to try and sell them something!

 

[Lightyear]

Define depth, please.

With depth I mean having deep conversations about feelings, ideas, world views, history etc, basically the whole N-thing. I am not saying that Ss can talk about that too but especially with SPs I often have the feeling that I bore them by not wanting to play but by instead trying to analyze everything.

If we try to make anyone feel better they get nervous and assume we are going to try and sell them something!

 

[Unique]

Its funny you say he got bored with you though cause I was about to say the number one reason I like the INF types is because of how interesting they are, refreshing and unique

Trust me I've done the whole date SP-SP thing and THATs boring

Conversations are way more engaging with your opposite

 

[Unique]

ahhh.....is this cause this is where the locals are or? if so lucky duck sounds like they have really nice weather and other things hehe.

or have a thing for aussie's who are also infj .

i never thought about ESTP's admiring INFJ hehe but then you think about the anima/anumus thing maybe that provides mystery .

though i have notice in my years of dating that I have always dated the Se types lol if not dominant it was auxiliary at least lol

first Si dominant that i dated just did not jive (I/E SFJ) seemed desperate i'm assuming he was not the most healthy SJ but it seems he's grown so i'm glad..still too wanting to do everything together (close friend of mine is dating him they seem perfect together both SJ's at least hehe. both love to be around each other as much as possible. I can understand that in a way but i'm pretty independent so at that time he scared me away) i need my autonomy and room to breathe as one whole individual xDD.

lol yeah I'm aussie

I'm unsure if I like Si or not, it seems to come back and bite you with the data that is stored

If you like room to breath than an ESTP is perfect though, their style makes them appear less extraverted than the other extraverted types but thats just our laid back not so "feely" style (not even a word but roll with it... )

 

[Halla74]

With depth I mean having deep conversations about feelings, ideas, world views, history etc, basically the whole N-thing. I am not saying that Ss can talk about that too but especially with SPs I often have the feeling that I bore them by not wanting to play but by instead trying to analyze everything.

Ah ha! Thank you for clarifying that. I can have deep conversations with my INFJ wifey about all in your quote box above, but the talks about FEELINGS are the hardest. SHe can tell me she feels a certani way, that's an easy one. If she tells me she feels a certain way and then tries to drop a NF logic link to something I do/have done to make that so, that gets a little trickier, as sometimes her perception of my intent is WAY off target. And finally, there are times where she will tell me she wants to discuss "our monthly budget" or "saving for a vacation" and I'm all out making a spreadsheet with formulas and setting up a tool to make it so, but she gets stuck in the early stages of the conversation and then it falls apart. Part of the problem there might be patience (or lack thereof at times)

 

[INFtha14]

lol yeah I'm aussie

I'm unsure if I like Si or not, it seems to come back and bite you with the data that is stored

If you like room to breath than an ESTP is perfect though, their style makes them appear less extraverted than the other extraverted types but thats just our laid back not so "feely" style (not even a word but roll with it... )

Sending hugs to my recent aussie estp online buddy

yeah Si is scary lol always wanting to know when exactly will we start dating (woah dude lol don't put a time table on feelings developing xD)

Have you had experiences with Si doms? (scary if unhealthy huh?)

That sounds like my kind of guy then hah not to clingy, not hell bent on getting to a certain point at at certain time Ex) the Si guy lol

also wanted to know when we could actually start "dating" and also brought marriage up/ how many kids etc
(woah that's what did it for me I flew so fast after that
I still want to go school hello xD no kids no husband shoo I Just want someone who i can just "be" with lol I like to plan but he overdid it and appeared needy for the details. plan enough as it can this just be the one thing i run with and just enjoy getting to know the person (Si guy was too much/ sweet but too much)

I going to have to find me a sweet estp ^^D but i'm open to anything lol .
they sound more my style heh get me out of my Ni-Ti head lol hehe.
I definitely like room to breathe and do my own thing I need to remember

I'm my own person with my own interests, friends and i'd give that freedom back to the person i'd be seeing you know lol no guilt trips scouts honor it's the one thing (of the many heh) i distain guilt trips/manipulation bleh such a low behavior :steam: *clears throat* okay..sorry heh .

Also need to be left to pursue my own goals as in I want a career/hobbies/friends of my own I don't want a guy expecting me to be housewife hehe it's not happening buddy too independent and of a free spirit for that heh. I'm figuring an ESTP would appreciate that too haha a women of her own lol not some clingy chick xD where were you *though i could see me asking this but not trying to control lol it's how i care heh*

" don't fence me in" literally unless you want a grouchy person to come home to cause she's feeling trapped lol.(besides these days you need two incomes heh so it's wise lol)

 

[INFtha14]

I am wondering too what attracts the ESTP specifically to the INFJ?

I remember an ESTP I was attracted to but he accused me of being just no fun. (because I got bored of jumping from one sensory experience to the next, I like seeing and learning new things but there also needs to be some depth at some point or I get bored)

What I like about ESTPs is their fearlessness, power of persuasion, calm in difficult situations and just their ability to deal with the real world so admirably. They definitely have some strenghts I sometimes wish I had.

:hi: i know...i'm glad for this topic i feel i'm seeing sp's in a more clear way yay. it's fun to see how other people have different ways of thinking the whole shabang it does make it more interesting like hmmm.....what's going on the other side there *estp's with there Dom. Se as that's my aspiring/ there aspiring is Ni so i would assume that create a pull towards one another lol*

"Lightyear
With depth I mean having deep conversations about feelings, ideas, world views, history etc, basically the whole N-thing. I am not saying that Ss can talk about that too but especially with SPs I often have the feeling that I bore them by not wanting to play but by instead trying to analyze everything."

oh yess that's what i'm talking about hehe love that stuff, history, myth busters, investigative medical mysteries (bones, house, this one book i forgot the title xD figures i'd forget lol*) Ghost hunters is good cause they remain objective and don't just assume yep that's a ghost that orb there *xDD it's dust people lol or it's just a creaky house heh. *

I had these two friends one of which has a high chance of being esfp and i just felt like i could never discuss deep theory or some deep philosophical pondering or mystery * i need a mental challenge one of things I need my mind engaged definitely) or even believe it or not discuss my feelings (Fe-ing if you will i need someone to hear me out )

 

[gloomy-optimist]

I am wondering too what attracts the ESTP specifically to the INFJ?

I remember an ESTP I was attracted to but he accused me of being just no fun. (because I got bored of jumping from one sensory experience to the next, I like seeing and learning new things but there also needs to be some depth at some point or I get bored)

What I like about ESTPs is their fearlessness, power of persuasion, calm in difficult situations and just their ability to deal with the real world so admirably. They definitely have some strenghts I sometimes wish I had.

I know what attracts me to an ESTP is the playfulness; I love that laid-back attitude because it's so hard to achieve in myself alone. They make me laugh, and I don't have to feel like a bitch if I tell them they're stupid (at least once I get to know them) My ESTP has a wide range of interests, including a lot of theoretical stuff; it's nice to talk about a bunch of different things, but not get so deep into it -- it's interesting, but not heavy.

I think my ESTP likes me because I ground him some; he told me that I needed to come home because he can't control himself as well without me (told me he was going to be an alcoholic chain-smoker by the time I got back). I let him take the lead, but I don't let him control me; it's a bit of a challenge for him, I think, and he loves that. He likes someone to share his quirks with, who won't judge him but doesn't dote on him either.

Basically, it's a balance

 

[Unique]

Sending hugs to my recent aussie estp online buddy

yeah Si is scary lol always wanting to know when exactly will we start dating (woah dude lol don't put a time table on feelings developing xD)

Have you had experiences with Si doms? (scary if unhealthy huh?)

That sounds like my kind of guy then hah not to clingy, not hell bent on getting to a certain point at at certain time Ex) the Si guy lol

also wanted to know when we could actually start "dating" and also brought marriage up/ how many kids etc
(woah that's what did it for me I flew so fast after that
I still want to go school hello xD no kids no husband shoo I Just want someone who i can just "be" with lol I like to plan but he overdid it and appeared needy for the details. plan enough as it can this just be the one thing i run with and just enjoy getting to know the person (Si guy was too much/ sweet but too much)

I going to have to find me a sweet estp ^^D but i'm open to anything lol .
they sound more my style heh get me out of my Ni-Ti head lol hehe.
I definitely like room to breathe and do my own thing I need to remember

I'm my own person with my own interests, friends and i'd give that freedom back to the person i'd be seeing you know lol no guilt trips scouts honor it's the one thing (of the many heh) i distain guilt trips/manipulation bleh such a low behavior :steam: *clears throat* okay..sorry heh .

Also need to be left to pursue my own goals as in I want a career/hobbies/friends of my own I don't want a guy expecting me to be housewife hehe it's not happening buddy too independent and of a free spirit for that heh. I'm figuring an ESTP would appreciate that too haha a women of her own lol not some clingy chick xD where were you *though i could see me asking this but not trying to control lol it's how i care heh*

" don't fence me in" literally unless you want a grouchy person to come home to cause she's feeling trapped lol.(besides these days you need two incomes heh so it's wise lol)

I have very few guardian (sj) friends, I gave up trying. They always end up disliking me then stabbing me in the back and over the most petty stuff... like woah chill man its not the end of the world... but to them... it is

They call us the no gooders but is being unconventional and breaking from tradition when needed evil? I think not!!

Why uphold something for the sake of upholding it even when its turned bad?

Anyway as for getting out of your Ni Ti head you might not get away from Ti easy with an ESTP seeing how its our auxiliary function

But Ti is amazing so no worries there

ESTPs get a bad rep, especially around here but I have NO idea why :l

Might be that people just think.. oh yay a place with Ns and people like me who aren't like my evil parents... that must mean that ALL S types are tradition hugging losers

lol unfortunately us SPs get forgotten, that and we have the smallest voice on a forum like this as most of us are interested in getting out there and having fun

 

[Halla74]

ESTPs get a bad rep, especially around here but I have NO idea why :l

lol unfortunately us SPs get forgotten, that and we have the smallest voice on a forum like this as most of us are interested in getting out there and having fun

We do get a bad rap, for sure, 100% agreed. Oh well, it is up to us, the good and virtuous of our kind, to discredit such folly.

Since I am in an office environment and often waiting on huge queries to run being here is a nice escape. But if I were not in an office setting, I probably would be here a bit less as other SPs...

 

[INFtha14]

I have very few guardian (sj) friends, I gave up trying. They always end up disliking me then stabbing me in the back and over the most petty stuff... like woah chill man its not the end of the world... but to them... it is

They call us the no gooders but is being unconventional and breaking from tradition when needed evil? I think not!!

Why uphold something for the sake of upholding it even when its turned bad?

Anyway as for getting out of your Ni Ti head you might not get away from Ti easy with an ESTP seeing how its our auxiliary function

But Ti is amazing so no worries there

ESTPs get a bad rep, especially around here but I have NO idea why :l

Might be that people just think.. oh yay a place with Ns and people like me who aren't like my evil parents... that must mean that ALL S types are tradition hugging losers

lol unfortunately us SPs get forgotten, that and we have the smallest voice on a forum like this as most of us are interested in getting out there and having fun

oh my goodness yes i have two SJ's in my family and it's petty city lol and yes minor stuff gets blows way out of proportion heh.

like me "going" back to school (i don't listen to them bleh) or having new interests...even a boyfriend(just an example lol) just very critical people heh.

Also tend to do a divide and conquer thing which annoy's me especially since it's aimed at me alot now that the one that they use to do it on is on her own and out of their hair hehe (i'm aiming for this lol/ i hate the three their's, there or they're ) heh.

It also seems whenever I start to have good things going for myself there threatened by it like getting a license/car/work/furthering my education etc.

it seems for my mother though it's cause she cares but she needs to cut the cord already as mean as that may sound

I can sympathize that yes she's a mother and her job is never done but she doesn't have a say if i'm doing something or not lol.

sure does try to knock me down too i don't think it's ment to be conniving she's just afraid of change and I'm all let's rev this baby up .

I personally think it's nice to break away from the same old same old so keep doing what you do ^^D.
I have no problem with my Ti I actually i love it lol so it's all good with me but i do notice an analysis paralysis when i look up mbti/enneagram stuff if i'm conflicted lol/same in other areas too but wouldn't have it any other way .
I think generalising (? spelling) is just not right you can't just assume it's limiting i never want to judge someone before i meet them unlike some people in my family (abit unhealthy SJ's/ they got there hearts in the right place though but there behaviors leave little to be desired or tolerated.

But i'm trying to be more understanding of my mother's way hopefully with the MBTI/Enneagram she's a two lol no doubt hehe)

It's unfortunate that people assume that just cause one person has preferences for s doesn't mean all share those ways of generalizations.
It's not what the MBTI was made for it's to bring together to have better understanding of our differences and work together .

I think Healthy SJ's and SP's rock i'm not going to judge based on one encounter or two (cough cough for the not so healthy SJ's i've found)

I got the SP's back hopefully this forum will bring in the voice of the SP to this place and someone's got to have fun right? hahaha.

I love SP's for there "live and let die" approach like "no sweat off nose" lol I need some of that especially with these SJ's that i live with not letting the sweat fall hehe *like my analogy unique ?*

funningly lol I can relate to that as i have a pretty good relationship with my Se as it is a conscious function after all hehe just one of my last but believe me i use it it's there .

 

[Unique]

oh my goodness yes i have two SJ's in my family and it's petty city lol and yes minor stuff gets blows way out of proportion heh.

like me "going" back to school (i don't listen to them bleh) or having new interests...even a boyfriend(just an example lol) just very critical people heh.

Also tend to do a divide and conquer thing which annoy's me especially since it's aimed at me alot now that the one that they use to do it on is on her own and out of their hair hehe (i'm aiming for this lol/ i hate the three their's, there or they're ) heh.

It also seems whenever I start to have good things going for myself there threatened by it like getting a license/car/work/furthering my education etc.

it seems for my mother though it's cause she cares but she needs to cut the cord already as mean as that may sound

I can sympathize that yes she's a mother and her job is never done but she doesn't have a say if i'm doing something or not lol.

sure does try to knock me down too i don't think it's ment to be conniving she's just afraid of change and I'm all let's rev this baby up .

I personally think it's nice to break away from the same old same old so keep doing what you do ^^D.
I have no problem with my Ti I actually i love it lol so it's all good with me but i do notice an analysis paralysis when i look up mbti/enneagram stuff if i'm conflicted lol/same in other areas too but wouldn't have it any other way .
I think generalising (? spelling) is just not right you can't just assume it's limiting i never want to judge someone before i meet them unlike some people in my family (abit unhealthy SJ's/ they got there hearts in the right place though but there behaviors leave little to be desired or tolerated.

But i'm trying to be more understanding of my mother's way hopefully with the MBTI/Enneagram she's a two lol no doubt hehe)

It's unfortunate that people assume that just cause one person has preferences for s doesn't mean all share those ways of generalizations.
It's not what the MBTI was made for it's to bring together to have better understanding of our differences and work together .

I think Healthy SJ's and SP's rock i'm not going to judge based on one encounter or two (cough cough for the not so healthy SJ's i've found)

I got the SP's back hopefully this forum will bring in the voice of the SP to this place and someone's got to have fun right? hahaha.

I love SP's for there "live and let die" approach like "no sweat off nose" lol I need some of that especially with these SJ's that i live with not letting the sweat fall hehe *like my analogy unique ?*

funningly lol I can relate to that as i have a pretty good relationship with my Se as it is a conscious function after all hehe just one of my last but believe me i use it it's there .

Yeah thats what my ex liked about me... except she had plenty of that herself being an ESFP so go figure

Was pretty fun though lol was like taking a shower in Se

As for Sjs... can't say I that many Sj friends... could be cause I really don't need more of them in my life than I already have with family

I don't think they like me much anyway, I stand for everything they don't

Life isn't hard
Have fun
Don't take things seriously
If I want cereal at 10pm cause I felt compelled to I will
Its a sock on the floor, not the end of the world CHILL OUT!!
Don't expect things
Tell the truth, be blunt don't sugar coat it
No I won't work my ass off for you for my whole life to "retire" to the "good life"
HELLO I'll either be old or dead!
Enjoy life while your young
Money is brilliant, make it and spend it, you were complaining about a sock? I can hire a cleaner

That is all

 

[INFtha14]

Yeah thats what my ex liked about me... except she had plenty of that herself being an ESFP so go figure

XDDD how the experience of being around another Se dominant? interesting? boring perhaps cause same dominant?

Was pretty fun though lol was like taking a shower in Se (weeee sounds fun funner then any other function to be honest truly just let go *sighs like i'm in a spa lol* )

As for Sjs... can't say I that many Sj friends... could be cause I really don't need more of them in my life than I already have with family

I don't think they like me much anyway, I stand for everything they don't (amen i wonder why I agree with so much of what you say it's got to be that estp and infj has all four functions in the top 4 just a different order. that's at least what i'm thinking heh. the chemistry of like mindedness could blow up this place xD)

Life isn't hard
Have fun
Don't take things seriously
If I want cereal at 10pm cause I felt compelled to I will
(agreed lol)
Its a sock on the floor, not the end of the world CHILL OUT!!
(wow i don't know how many i have thought to myself i'm not going to lose it to a sock being on the floor if anything just pick it up and let it be lol there you gained five years of your life lol.)
Don't expect things
Tell the truth, be blunt don't sugar coat it
(this is the most beautiful thing i've heard unique. other wise it feels like trickery if someone sugar coats.)
No I won't work my ass off for you for my whole life to "retire" to the "good life" newwink: right have the good life now i like the way you think unique. how do i mail order for a unique )
HELLO I'll either be old or dead! (yeah cause you worked your ass off so much you would have just cost all those years off of your life from burning out for "retirement" :rolli: SJ's seriously it's admirable but your missing so much don't change who you are though not saying that lol.)

Enjoy life while your young (amen look to above cause before you know it your life passes you by and what do you have to show for it your degree bleh show me someone who has enjoyed every single moment as it was there last...that is more worth then anything. there is some quote around on the web about how when i die i want to come in sideways at 90 miles per hour clothes all torn up hair a mess, bruises everywhere yelling "woah that was one hell of a ride lol" into the coffin" as morbid as that sounds heh. I want that to be me seriously xDD always agreed with this even when i was teen/16ish.)

Money is brilliant, make it and spend it, you were complaining about a sock? I can hire a cleaner (XDD yesssss...finally someone who understands me lol seriously some people don't really realize the moment is beautiful your going to waste the good vibes we have going on over something minor like a sock jeepers.

That is all

I feel ya on that family sj's are good enough xD.

let me hug ya finally someone who has some insight about life and it's beauty.

 

[Unique]

i never thought about ESTP's admiring INFJ hehe but then you think about the anima/anumus thing maybe that provides mystery .

lol well I'm one of those "gamer" ESTPs so a bit of a nerd

But at the moment I'm loving the cartoon invader zim lol

 

[Unique]

XDDD how the experience of being around another Se dominant? interesting? boring perhaps cause same dominant?

Was just hard to recreate the night we met, nothing compared and everything just felt fake.

(weeee sounds fun funner then any other function to be honest truly just let go *sighs like i'm in a spa lol* )

Oh while it lasted yeah but its like adding fire to fire or water to water... or whatever you want to call it lol

(amen i wonder why I agree with so much of what you say it's got to be that estp and infj has all four functions in the top 4 just a different order. that's at least what i'm thinking heh. the chemistry of like mindedness could blow up this place xD)

:] just how it is, glad you like it

(amen look to above cause before you know it your life passes you by and what do you have to show for it your degree bleh show me someone who has enjoyed every single moment as it was there last...that is more worth then anything. there is some quote around on the web about how when i die i want to come in sideways at 90 miles per hour clothes all torn up hair a mess, bruises everywhere yelling "woah that was one hell of a ride lol" into the coffin" as morbid as that sounds heh. I want that to be me seriously xDD always agreed with this even when i was teen/16ish.)

yeah exactly, why not? its so OBVIOUSLY why life was designed to be short (under 90yrs)

I've only got 7 more months of being a teenager and I'll make sure I live them up and my 20th will be even more amazing

Satisfy yourself, smell the roses, LIVE, enjoy

 

[INFtha14]

Was just hard to recreate the night we met, nothing compared and everything just felt fake.

Oh while it lasted yeah but its like adding fire to fire or water to water... or whatever you want to call it lol

:] just how it is, glad you like it

yeah exactly, why not? its so OBVIOUSLY why life was designed to be short (under 90yrs)

I've only got 7 more months of being a teenager and I'll make sure I live them up and my 20th will be even more amazing

Satisfy yourself, smell the roses, LIVE, enjoy

yeah whatever it is it's awesome :hi:.

yeah sometimes i wonder life is beautiful why make it so short but then i thought seriously if we lived on this earth any longer I think we would end up corrupted in some way. (just my opinion lol)

that's the attitude your in the teens only once same for young adulthood so get out there and enjoy all there is to see...have fun don't let anyone take that away from you ^^D so much to experience.

I read what you said and i took your advice and boy was it needed I took a nice shower/bath used my lotions that are calming etc

I felt and feel like i'm finally paying attention to my Se which has been neglected. Been under abit of stress it's life right lol but i think what made aware that i need to seriously let my go was when i had really sharp pains in my chest yesterday not fun i had to breathe all shallow cause of how it hurt scary thing it was right at my heart area (i'm only in my extremely low 20's) i hated that anyway heh I'm better.

I think it was Se saying hey you know I'm here and i'm being ignored "live in the moment and stop thinking about the future so much gawd...one day at a time heh" (xDD) then i read what you wrote and i just said you know what I'm not waiting to treat myself anymore I deserve it so thanks unique .