ISFPs are relatively quiet at times, while ESFPs never shut up.![]()
Hmmm...he's a motormouth for sure, very animated, can be a clown, but he also has a lifelong hobby (obsession) which is he very serious about that requires him to spend quite a bit of time alone. He always has friends, but then he says he hates people. I'm talking about my ex, you think I would know, but it's almost like the familiarity makes it more confusing.
My ESFP friend gets lonely when he's alone. He doesn't even like to sleep alone.
Jeffster's explanation is pretty good.
One thing I've noticed is that some young ISFP males (usually have some growing up to do) will appear to be ESFPs (or even ESFJs if they're REALLY trying too hard) because they haven't learned to be comfortable with their natural introversion and they overcompensate socially for it.
Hmm. This doesn't really help much, because I'm an "I" but when I first got out of a long-term relationship, I didn't like to sleep alone either. It was one of the hardest parts. Now that I'm used to it, I don't mind as much usually though (but sometimes of course). I mean, Introverts might not thrive on huge parties or have their ear tied to the phone, but they still like human companionship, usually more like one on one or in smaller groups.
But I've known insanely needy people like the one you're describing. I call that an emotional problem, not a personality type. I had a friend who was like that. She couldn't be alone EVER. She would sleep with the television on because it made her feel "less lonely." She had lots of problems, though.
Well, I could probably help you.
Tell me a little bit about this guy.
Why the hesitance on E/I?
However, he has this racous "performer" side to his personality, and he always has a small group of friends. If he gets a new job, he automatically makes new friends with at least one or two of his co-workers. He can also be pretty bold. Not that introverts can't be bold, but he's done things in public in a really punk rock "in your face" sort of way (which I actually don't like)..
My ESFP friend gets lonely when he's alone. He doesn't even like to sleep alone.
Jeffster's explanation is pretty good.
One thing I've noticed is that some young ISFP males (usually have some growing up to do) will appear to be ESFPs (or even ESFJs if they're REALLY trying too hard) because they haven't learned to be comfortable with their natural introversion and they overcompensate socially for it.
I know one ISFP guy like this and when he first started doing it, it was absolutely ridiculous. He would go WAY out of his way to hit on any girl in a 2-mile radius, strike up a conversation with anyone, but it was all just contrived. It's kind of funny when it happens, but you've got to watch for it.
I haven't personally observed this in any SFP women, but I only know maybe 1-2 ISFP women anyway so I'm not sure. I suspect it has something to do with cultural gender expectations.
Because he's very into cult/foreign film collecting - has been since he was little - and has a vast store of knowledge about this particular subject and spends a lot of time alone concentrating on that, and also he has a flair for decorating (not in a girly way, in a really offbeat, masculine, visually stimulating way) and arranging, which is something he also spends a lot of time doing. I would call him an artist, definitely, even though it's not the stereotypical description of what most people would call an artist. He has a great eye. But anyway, he spends lots of time by himself and often complains that he hates people. He likes being at home, though he does go out.That's why I'm thinking ISFP.
However, he has this racous "performer" side to his personality, and he always has a small group of friends. If he gets a new job, he automatically makes new friends with at least one or two of his co-workers. He can also be pretty bold. Not that introverts can't be bold, but he's done things in public in a really punk rock "in your face" sort of way (which I actually don't like).
Sorry for the long description, but I guess I felt it was required.
I think he sounds like an ISFP. ESFP's especially of all the extroverted types have a hard time keeping their mouth shut. Over time, I too have come to be quite comfortable chatting with people I don't know and will sometimes go out of my way to meet new people, but I am still definitely an introvert. I think ISFP's in social settings have that same "action" orientation to mingling with people. We make up for lack of talk by sort of performing in a way. Make sense? We're sort of goof balls.![]()