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[ENFJ] ENTP breakup with ENFJ: Whats your views and advice?
- Thread starter Kacie
- Start date
Norrsken
self murderer
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2015
- Messages
- 3,632
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
I'm not an ENFJ but I'll just cut it straight to the point here: He's just not interested in being committed to you or anyone else at this time.
I really doubt that spending all your time thinking up scenarios is going to help you here, which I can understand, being heartbroken and all, but you also have to get back out there and make life an adventure again.
I really doubt that spending all your time thinking up scenarios is going to help you here, which I can understand, being heartbroken and all, but you also have to get back out there and make life an adventure again.
Thanks, very much appreciate to the point comment! I know someone with this behavior clearly isn't ready to give me his all even if he did love me. I'm sure I could help him and we could grow through it together but I realise thats not a very healthy view to giving someone the space they decide they want to grow themselves. I want to be a hopeless romantic when it comes to him and how special he is to me but I also accept that after my gesture that clearly isnt what he wants and I will respect that. Right now, I just wanted something for closure, there has been a great deal of confusion filled with many days of silence inbetween. But to be honest, I dont even know if that will help or not anymore. I think Ive clearly become infatuated but Ive tried everything. I have a tendency to become more introverted which hasnt helped but Ive taken up alot of new hobbies and interests, unfortunately I can multi task like no other and my mind still continues to go there.
Norrsken
self murderer
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2015
- Messages
- 3,632
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Yeah, heartbreaks suck. Been there, done that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but it will get better soon. You're an ENTP, trust me, you'll find someone else really quick; you're all too charming to stay single for long. ;p
Dyslexxie
Dope& diamonds.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,250
Oh Jesus sweetheart, this fucking sucks. You take your time and work through it, no point in trying to fake being okay if you aren't.
Where are you guys at currently? Do you talk/have you talked since? Also in regards to where you guys live, are you still close to one other geographically, or are you in Europe and him in the US?
1) whats your opinion on whats happened here?
It's hard to comment since I'm horrible at gauging situations esp over the internet, but I'm kind of thinking 2 break ups is a big sign for both of you guys. I don't really get why you two got back together if he was gonna break it off again...and the non-US thing sounds like a stupid excuse to me on his behalf. I find ENFJs can be quite agreeable in the moment because they get kinda wrapped up in the situation, but with some thought on the matter they easily change their minds and backtrack really easily, and it kinda sounds like the case in this situation.
2) what would help to get him to engage in introverted thinking without coming across like me 'trying to change his mind' (as his said to me when I asked questions during our breakup) or attacking his viewpoints
I would say it's better to give him space because trying to go over what's been said and what could be, especially after a breakup, can be suffocating and can push him further away.
3) should I give in the towel on the possibility of love here or is there anything I can do... I am willing to go to all ends if I gather that there is a possibility when we meet, what would work here for you ENFJs?
Definitely not an ENFJ so I can't comment on the personality type, but I find if a guy is serious about he'll make it work regardless of how difficult it is (and going back to the non-US thing, that's absolute BS because sorry but it ain't that hard to find common ground between Europe and the US). Ultimately I think it's on him to push for something to work, since you've already laid it on the line for him and he pulled away. Best thing you can do in the interim is find ways to feel better, and if he realizes it's worth it, let him try but don't cave too easily since he's the one that messed this us. Hope that helps. Let me know if you need to vent. I'm all about being pissed off at dumbass men, so I can give some insight ahah.
Where are you guys at currently? Do you talk/have you talked since? Also in regards to where you guys live, are you still close to one other geographically, or are you in Europe and him in the US?
1) whats your opinion on whats happened here?
It's hard to comment since I'm horrible at gauging situations esp over the internet, but I'm kind of thinking 2 break ups is a big sign for both of you guys. I don't really get why you two got back together if he was gonna break it off again...and the non-US thing sounds like a stupid excuse to me on his behalf. I find ENFJs can be quite agreeable in the moment because they get kinda wrapped up in the situation, but with some thought on the matter they easily change their minds and backtrack really easily, and it kinda sounds like the case in this situation.
2) what would help to get him to engage in introverted thinking without coming across like me 'trying to change his mind' (as his said to me when I asked questions during our breakup) or attacking his viewpoints
I would say it's better to give him space because trying to go over what's been said and what could be, especially after a breakup, can be suffocating and can push him further away.
3) should I give in the towel on the possibility of love here or is there anything I can do... I am willing to go to all ends if I gather that there is a possibility when we meet, what would work here for you ENFJs?
Definitely not an ENFJ so I can't comment on the personality type, but I find if a guy is serious about he'll make it work regardless of how difficult it is (and going back to the non-US thing, that's absolute BS because sorry but it ain't that hard to find common ground between Europe and the US). Ultimately I think it's on him to push for something to work, since you've already laid it on the line for him and he pulled away. Best thing you can do in the interim is find ways to feel better, and if he realizes it's worth it, let him try but don't cave too easily since he's the one that messed this us. Hope that helps. Let me know if you need to vent. I'm all about being pissed off at dumbass men, so I can give some insight ahah.
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