:rolli::rolli:
Next time use some of this lubricant instead of going dry.
I dont understand this reply.
:rolli::rolli:
Next time use some of this lubricant instead of going dry.
I dont understand this reply.
I get like this when I am really stressed out. Say that I'm working towards a huge life-changing deadline and I have to meet you to move furniture and I have to make sure I catch the train on time to get back and finish the deadline stuff...I will start to get...panicky and scattered and focussed on being on time for the train...I won't really be that present that last 30 min. Having a really detailed schedule is a lot more stressful than having a vague schedule or none at all. When something doesn't go according to plan, I improvise just fine, so I'm more immobilised by the plan than the lack thereof sometimes.
In that situation the base stress never leaves. You'd think that you can compartmentalise and just move furniture and then pick up where you left with the first task, but when there is stress to begin with your (or mine at least) perspective can really narrow. It is irrational.
Sounds like he got out of having to do much, I know an ENTJ who does the same trick. he shows up for the 1st 10 minutes and the last 30 and takes all the credit when we're done.
Yeah, as FDG said this isn't the right answer at all. Especially with this particular ENTJ. He's very willing to help and isn't looking for "credit".
TBH, I don't see what the problem is unless I'm misunderstanding. Being a P doesn't give one permission to stroll into an engagement late and keep other people waiting because you were just "going with the flow."
I don't know what he communicated to you guys, e.g. "Hey I have to be outta here in an hour so let's do this" but his reaction doesn't seem unusual to me because I would react the same way. If I told someone I'll meet them at a certain time and it's looking like I'm going to be late, I get antsy. It's about keeping your promises to people.
People love cupcakes, that always freaking works!
If I told someone I'll meet them at a certain time and it's looking like I'm going to be late, I get antsy. It's about keeping your promises to people.
...I don't like to keep people waiting or be kept waiting. Outside of extenuating circumstances, of course.
Why do you get antsy? Why not just work happily and enjoy your company up until you need to leave, without being antsy? Then leave and go to your meeting - still without being antsy? I know the answer - someone alluded to it in this thread already - it's not that easy to compartmentalize. But, yeah, I'm just trying to get your guys' thoughts on why you get antsy to begin with. From my perspective, there's no need to be antsy.
To clarify, the ENTJ in the OP did not have "bad time management". His meeting had been planned for a week. Helping the friend move was sprung on us with only about 3 hours notice.
But, again, from the P perspective I handle a situation like this in the following way: Uh oh, this is taking way longer than expected and I have a meeting coming up. Vocalize this as soon as possible: "Hey guys, I have an important meeting at 5pm, so I have to leave at 4:30pm regardless of how much progress we've made. Cool? Cool!"
Now, I'm done with it. The "stress" is off my chest and everyone is aware of my situation. Now, I can continue on stress-free. I look at my watch from time to time and when it gets to be 4:30, I leave and go to my meeting. And I don't allow myself to feel guilty for leaving. I had to choose one or the other and I chose the meeting. No regrets. There's nothing I can do other than that. So I do it stress free. I roll with it. Things unfolded a certain way and I made an adjustment as I saw necessary.
This is where I diverge from you. Even if I did what you did, I'd still be antsy. It has nothing to do with feeling guilty for leaving, it's simply my mind goes to the Next Thing of its own volition. It's not stress, per se, it's me just being geared up for the next thing in my schedule. I dunno how to explain it, nor do I expect you to get it.
I do get it. I do that too sometimes. I'm not immune to stress myself or to having my head in 2 places at once. I'm just trying to paint a picture of why his mannerisms and his antsy-ness made me go, "he's really trippin' right now!" And he was. It was a little strange to watch because he's usually not like that.
I really do see it as a P/J difference (the way he reacted compared to the way I would have reacted). J's are great at "making things happen". Being proactive. Taking the initiative. Organizing the meeting in the first place. To put it bluntly, they sort of "impose their will". I don't mean that in the negative sense. They know what they want, and they go out and cause it to happen.
P's (at least this one) are great at adapting and flexing around however the situation presents itself. It's the opposite of my J description. Instead of taking the initiative, organizing a meeting, imposing our will, etc., we wait to see how the situation will develop and then we react. Instead of proactive, it's often reactive.
It's not that one is "the best". It's just 2 sides of the coin, 2 sides of the J/P dichotomy. Surely, the "J" behaviors will make more sense to the J's and the "P" behaviors will make more sense to the P's.
Yep, I would let people know the situation too.
This is where I diverge from you. Even if I did what you did, I'd still be antsy. It has nothing to do with feeling guilty for leaving, it's simply my mind goes to the Next Thing of its own volition. It's not stress, per se, it's me just being geared up for the next thing in my schedule. I dunno how to explain it, nor do I expect you to get it.
(Although I have to say.. I wouldn't be nearly as extreme as the guy you mention... every 30 seconds is, uh, extreme. But yeah, I can relate to the general thing of looking at the watch every now and then, and everything else I said. haha.)
+1...and the more stress the more restless I'd become...it's not even an uh-oh this isn't going as planned thing, it's a sort of sequentiality in our minds
Next time he does that maybe you can help him, INTPness?
Why do you get antsy? Why not just work happily and enjoy your company up until you need to leave, without being antsy? Then leave and go to your meeting - still without being antsy? I know the answer - someone alluded to it in this thread already - it's not that easy to compartmentalize. But, yeah, I'm just trying to get your guys' thoughts on why you get antsy to begin with. From my perspective, there's no need to be antsy.
I don't see the problem. He had to keep track of time, and telling time is the primary purpose of a watch.
Unless he was loudly sighing and moaning constantly...
"30 minutes to go"
"Look how late it is, I need to leave in 15"
"4 minutes!"
"SIGH. 42 seconds."
etc.
...don't be jealous cause you had to foot the rest of the work.