[ENFP] enfps are evil

[prplchknz]

Re: criticism. Yeah we don't take it well. But it's not because we think we're perfect and want everyone to be like us and we're hypersensitive cry babies. Think about the flaws in our type like the flaws in any other. In sorry you've found yourself in love with an ENFP and are convinced that their flaws are the worst because she's the one with the power to get inside your shell and actually effect you (because that's what happens in love). I don't know any ENFP who thinks they're perfect. If we did, we'd probably take criticism a little better, no?

but the difference between you and other types (especially the t ones) is ENFPs are aware they don't take criticism well while the others believe they do but really don't and act more negatively. while saying i'm being so logical and not at all emotional, and i'm just so as a result the awareness actually makes them react better than other types on average.

 

[Poki]

but the difference between you and other types (especially the t ones) is ENFPs are aware they don't take criticism well while the others believe they do but really don't and act more negatively. while saying i'm being so logical and not at all emotional, and i'm just so as a result the awareness actually makes them react better than other types on average.

Agree


Even if you push them in self protect mode they still don't close their eyes to the criticism, they just put the analysis of it on hold to protect self. I call it self protect because it's not always defensive, it's sometimes an attack on the way it's handled, not a defense of what was criticized. If they don't respect your opinion they hit stubborn mode and more of a denial of criticism which is more of a dismissal of your thought about them. That takes even longer to sink in then if it was handled properly. Situations are complicated if someone can't successfully read them they should ask questions and not become what they projected themselves. Realize...that didn't work. And figure out what does instead of point finger and blame. It's an attitude shift towards solutions instead of pointing fingers. If things didn't turn out like you wanted, talk about what happened in a civil manner, analyze what each person needs, and proceed. Learn the person, don't just bitch back and forth accomplishing nothing other then spiralling down hill together.

 

[FemMecha]

This thread seemed like a partial joke because ENFPs are close to the last type to be considered truly evil. Although, as a disclaimer, I'm against assigning morality to MBTI, Enneagram, or other personality systems. It's possible there could be higher/lower percentages of harmful people in different categories, but that would be difficult to measure because it would be biased towards the most obvious offenders in the statistics.

For the purpose of stereotypes, the ENFP pitfalls would tend to be not looking at consequences as much as some types. Also based on stereotypes, they would tend to be assumed to be one of the least harmful types, I would suspect.

One thing that has struck me more recently about these categories is just how diverse each category is. After reading through Jung's writings a bit more and attempting to type this person or that one, it has started to strike me that people within one category can be more different from each other than people in different categories. It came up in another thread the possibility that Charles Manson was an ENFP. If that is true, it definitely supports this idea that two ENFPs can be more different from each other than two completely different types. I've also read that Carl Rogers is an ENFP, and he is very quiet, contained, and empathetic - I would use him as the perfectly, exact opposite human being to Charles Manson. The people I've known that I would type as ENFP are incredibly sweet, imaginative, spontaneous, transparent, honest. The only downside is that they tend to be easily distracted, so it's hard to stay connected. One funny side observation, they can have unexpected rigidities about their personal lifestyle and space - which might be the inferior Si. 99% of the time they are the epitome of flexibility and creativity with ideas.

 

[TSDesigner]

I recently made another friend who was an ENFP who unfortunately had similar issues; she would be prone to panic, shriek-crying, and then doing extremely impulsive things that only screwed me and my other friends over further.

Exactly how did she screw over you and your friends?

Did you ever try totally playing along with an ENFP's panic attack to see what would happen? LIke "OMG the sun IS going to explode! In fact what if it happens today! Aaarrrgghhhhh!!!"

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Enfp's can't take criticism well? This thread being 21 pages may give that some merit.

Every type has their negative characteristics. In fact, it can be insightful to hear negative as well as positive feedback because these are areas of growth or understanding. It's best to give the negative with the intention of helping. If someone is just bitching, that smacks of bitterness.

Just roll with the punches.

 

[Ribonuke]

Exactly how did she screw over you and your friends?

Did you ever try totally playing along with an ENFP's panic attack to see what would happen? LIke "OMG the sun IS going to explode! In fact what if it happens today! Aaarrrgghhhhh!!!"

Though I can't conjure up any specific examples, I know I've done that sort of thing before; but I swiftly learned from my victims' parents that that sort of behavior wasn't gonna fly...so I fell out of the habit.

As for specifically what she did, here is one example: The ENFP's then-boyfriend (INTJ) had a bag of...Swiss-chocolates. When there were only three left, he offered one to her, but she turned it down because she "wasn't into chocolate lately". So when the INTJ invited me and my ISTP s.o. over and offered them to us, we took them, and then he ate the last. She got home and found out we were about to eat them, and then FLIPPED out over it, acting as if she had been planning on eating the chocolate all along. Point is...whether or not it was immature or not for her to be reacting at all, her reaction was disproportionately and emotionally destructive.

Now...I know ALL ENFPs are not exactly like this, but the ones I've gotten to know more intimately have all lapsed into some form of panic over having one feeling in one moment, and then having a drastically different feeling the next, with this sort of unrealistic expectation that the rest of the social group is "supposed to keep up with it".

My only reason for arguing that any of this is a form of evil is to call attention to the fact that ENFPs actually ARE capable of being destructive and more self-serving than their self awareness allows them, despite their intentions. Functions, although a factor, aren't the only thing that affects moral alignment.

 

[uumlau]

Every type has their negative characteristics. In fact, it can be insightful to hear negative as well as positive feedback because these are areas of growth or understanding. It's best to give the negative with the intention of helping. If someone is just bitching, that smacks of bitterness.

Just roll with the punches.

Indeed.

An interesting aspect of this is that the types with the more positive "reputation" (for lack of a better word) are generally going to have their hidden side be darker than they outwardly appear, and those types with a more negative reputation are generally going to have their hidden side be more positive than they appear.

INFJs, for example, so concerned with accommodating everyone's needs, seem to have a need (that they hide) to cuss like sailors, or at least find humor involving lots of crude language to be funny.

For symmetry, INTJs, so stern and admiring of logic and reason, have a hidden need to say, "Awwww, PUPPIES!!!!" or whatever when they encounter cuteness.

(These are specific manifestations, as describing the overall trend is to abstract to lend meaning to what I'm saying. Not all INTJs necessarily think puppies are cute or INFJ think swearing is hilarious.)

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Indeed.

An interesting aspect of this is that the types with the more positive "reputation" (for lack of a better word) are generally going to have their hidden side be darker than they outwardly appear, and those types with a more negative reputation are generally going to have their hidden side be more positive than they appear.

INFJs, for example, so concerned with accommodating everyone's needs, seem to have a need (that they hide) to cuss like sailors, or at least find humor involving lots of crude language to be funny.

For symmetry, INTJs, so stern and admiring of logic and reason, have a hidden need to say, "Awwww, PUPPIES!!!!" or whatever when they encounter cuteness.

(These are specific manifestations, as describing the overall trend is to abstract to lend meaning to what I'm saying. Not all INTJs necessarily think puppies are cute or INFJ think swearing is hilarious.)

Exactly. For instance, I'm a psychopathic loner who can master any tool but has a deep and abiding love of potato salad.

 

[Poki]

Exactly. For instance, I'm a psychopathic loner who can master any tool but has a deep and abiding love of potato salad.

Mmmm...makes me think of teriyaki plate with 2 scoops of salad...either potato or macaroni Man I miss the food in hawaii


Me too about loner as well. I so much don't want to be alpha that I run from the beta...lol....they keep finding me though

 

[sculpting]

To bring it home a bit, I've seen some supposedly well-intentioned ENFPs leave disproportionate amounts of carnage in their wake allegedly out of a need to "spare people's feelings". Whether they are evil or not is almost entirely besides the point of the fact of the destructiveness of their behavior. I would give those ENFPs as wide a berth as someone who was a genuine sociopath because their net impact on me and mine is effectively the same. ESPECIALLY those who are too intellectually sloppy or simply morally bankrupt to see that a whole hearted belief in people's "inherent goodness"--their own above all, I'm sure--prevents them from doing the hard work of looking at the consequences of their actions, taking responsibility for those and actually doing right as opposed to saying such and such a thing is and hoping the rest of us are to dazzled into sympathy to know the difference.

Do I think that ENFPs are evil? No. But I do wish they tried more to be as good as they say they are.

There is a very strong trend I observed that, since the enfp is obviously good, the other person must obviously be bad-thus it justifies being cruel and very ugly to the other person. Very rudimentary over generalization. There is also a tendency to simply eliminate the other person, rather than do the very hard work of having a honest discussion about the actual problem-because that places the enfp in the position of being vulnerable and perhaps even being wrong, which is a bit too close to rejection

Another very ugly trend was around social status....if you dont knee jerk respond to their requests....you dont respect them? This is very noticeable if they are in positions of authority over others and I have had some bad interactions where they took a lack of immediate compliance very poorly. I recall one enfp telling a coworker "you dont quite make the pay grade to have an opinion that counts, so maybe you should hush" as she made little closing mouth gestures with her hands.

I think the same hold's true for ENFPs and tert Te. I could imagine for an ENFP, Te just feeling like this powerful, logical trump card for everything that they do whether its actually rational (much less reasonable) or not. This assumption is supported by the apparent regard they hold for their "Te Bitchslap". Beyond that, I lay a lot of the "I imagined it would be and so it was" attitude of the average ENFP at the feet of the Ne-Te loop. Most of them don't seem to grow out of that sort of mentality until they do get a better handle on their auxiliary.

With some of these folks it was basically anything they could say to justify not having to face the fact that the results of their actions might be morally questionable. It was the customers fault, the other teams fault, each others fault (when the other person wasnt around). A lot of very ugly back stabbing behaviors combined with an ugly sense of insecurity over power and control. Lots of Te used to shield on from judging oneself with Fi....

I suspect some might find this ironic and a bit funny, but my favorite people in my new work place are the FJs...I forgot how Fe provides such a gentle softness to an organization. Its very comforting.

 

[Poki]

There is a very strong trend I observed that, since the enfp is obviously good, the other person must obviously be bad-thus it justifies being cruel and very ugly to the other person. Very rudimentary over generalization. There is also a tendency to simply eliminate the other person, rather than do the very hard work of having a honest discussion about the actual problem-because that places the enfp in the position of being vulnerable and perhaps even being wrong, which is a bit too close to rejection

Another very ugly trend was around social status....if you dont knee jerk respond to their requests....you dont respect them? This is very noticeable if they are in positions of authority over others and I have had some bad interactions where they took a lack of immediate compliance very poorly. I recall one enfp telling a coworker "you dont quite make the pay grade to have an opinion that counts, so maybe you should hush" as she made little closing mouth gestures with her hands.




With some of these folks it was basically anything they could say to justify not having to face the fact that the results of their actions might be morally questionable. It was the customers fault, the other teams fault, each others fault (when the other person wasnt around). A lot of very ugly back stabbing behaviors combined with an ugly sense of insecurity over power and control. Lots of Te used to shield on from judging oneself with Fi....

I suspect some might find this ironic and a bit funny, but my favorite people in my new work place are the FJs...I forgot how Fe provides such a gentle softness to an organization. Its very comforting.

I do see everything you say...but for as bad as they are and can be I have yet to ever have issues with it. Their use of Te is handled half ass sloppy method that bites them in the ass. It's not hard to put them in their place and make mince meat of Te. For me it's more of a look I give them as in..."do I feel like letting you get away with it or not" and it actually catches them off guard because they can see that I notice all the crap they throw. Surprises the crap out of them with how I respond, so much different then everyone else. I can put up with their crap without batting an eye. Because of this I usually earn their respect and admiration with ease.

Even the one called "teflon" treated me different then everyone else. Called teflon for the reasons mentioned above. At work I pretty much command, demand, and earn the respect of everyone so that alone puts me in a place of power, not to mention I know when to open my mouth and challenge and when not to. I am not a type to play games with because I am a type that will let you fall flat on your face for your own actions or raise you up and point you in the right direction. Another way I demand respect. Have fun being teflon because you will slide off of me no matter how much you wanna stick until you shed your teflon.

I guess that's what it takes to deal with the "evil" ones. Maybe i just have really thick skin. I don't know. I see the "issues" they have, but I don't consider them evil in the least. Misguided at most by use of Te.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Evil iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving.


Makes sense.

 

[FemMecha]

Enfp's can't take criticism well? This thread being 21 pages may give that some merit.

Every type has their negative characteristics. In fact, it can be insightful to hear negative as well as positive feedback because these are areas of growth or understanding. It's best to give the negative with the intention of helping. If someone is just bitching, that smacks of bitterness.

Just roll with the punches.

So far I've only counted two ENFPs even posting in this thread, though. So the length could also be due to certain types liking to dish out criticism - whether type related or not, people do enjoy dishing it out.

Exactly. For instance, I'm a psychopathic loner who can master any tool but has a deep and abiding love of potato salad.

I'd join you on a psychopathic tater-salad picnic. We could try eating it with various tools like hammers and scalpels.