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When I get angry I get strategic and look for greatest pay-off/redemption. The angrier I get, the cooler and calmer I feel. I've heard one other ENFP female tell me similar - she gets filled with cool dispassion.
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And on a sidenote, how I get crazy intense and focused when I'm truly pissed gives me a good track record facing off with mean old corporations. IOW, I'm pretty good at getting my money back, vouchers, coupons, apologies, etc. when some bureacracy has wronged me.
So in summation, when people poke at me I either get business like and outspoken and Te driven in my speech, I get super laser pinpoint intense and accurate like an INTJ, or I go nuts and just Fe (? LOLOLOL) all over the place.
Thanks Cze Cze - QFT.
Super sensitive ENFP here. When my Fi gets hurt it's intense and wordless and burning hot and multilayered. AND I have to sort it out by myself, alone, with someone very very close to me or in a diary. It's an
INTROVERTED feeling. It doesn't spontaneously vomit its pain all over the place for +1000 unknown strangers to comment upon. It doesn't seek validation from strangers, it doesn't do social engeneering, it doesn't make bulletpoint theories. Te might do that after some sorting through the event, when I need to implement my Fi-judgment in the real world.
When I've gone Te after a hurtful, personal event I can be so decisive and cold, I almost scare myself. It's not a state I wish to be in often, but it has been very good the few times I've had to do it.
In the situation I might protectively need to gain time to isolate myself and mull the overwhelming Fi-signals over. Default extraverted Intuition may be improvising fluffy diversions to hide the emotional turmoil within me that I don't want anybody to see while it's going on. Especially not if that anybody has just hurt me. I certainly don't want to exhibit my vulnerability to someone who might hurt me.
Point is: IF I display a lot of emotions publicly and instantly, they are not *really* vulnerable. They are more of a mockery of Fe, (eeh, I'm SO angry... poor me...), an act of clumsy social manipulation to rally support. Point is:
anything, Ne-diversion, Fe-pretention, Te-logic etc.
as long as it's not true Fi vulnerability being shown in what will appear to be an untrustworthy environment. No thanks, sir!
Te - in a powerful albeit rather unsophisticated black and white shape - will be used in a more important way after my intense Fi meltdown and private evaluation of the situation and my response.
When Fi is clear on the exact harm done and on how to avoid it in the future, it's time to execute through Te. It goes like this:
I go very calm, very focused and very, very cold. I'm only decisive. There's no social drama or emo-display or fishing for sympathy and backinggroups. I'm in stern, silent 'lonely cowboy' mode. There's no room for discussion or negotiation, there's no access for anybody to my feelings. There's only the necessary amount of interaction and involvement with my opponent(-s), not many words, only what is needed for my decided solution to be communicated and effectuated.
My Te-mode is
icy. You won't see any other feelings than impatience to implement the draconic solutions matching the draconic pain. Plus a slight contempt for anyone delaying it. I've done this to a roommate:
Me: "Listen, this is the deal: Either you move out of the house or I do. Get it?"
Opponent: "Hey, what - there's no reason to..."
Me: "Yes, there is. It's not up for discussion. See, I don't want to live with you, so which one is it? I think you should move, but if you don't, I will. So?
Opponent: "Jeez, WTF, okay, I'll move out..."
So: No waste of time, no emotional long drawn discussions, no drama. Te.
In this (short-term) mode, I don't care for people's feelings, good or bad, towards me. Because there's no going back, there's no ambivalence, no apologies, there's no 'blowing off stream' only to take it back afterwards.
It's onemindedly decisive and sternly meant. I've set course and I would be forever ashamed of myself if I changed it once expressed.
When I'm still involved with people and trust them enough to show them a hurt, bleeding, hot and angry Fi, I might eventually calm down and say sorry, that was over the top. My Te-mode? Would never ever do that.
Yeah, it's tertiary, kind of unsophisticated black and white I guess, but very forceful in it's icy efficiency when it get the green lights from Ne-Fi.