Yeah... I might give the verbal knife caught on the spot. I've shouted at a guy grasping at my breasts: "Hey, you're old and fat and stupid, I can see why no woman would ever let you touch her out of free will, how pathetic it is to see, nobody will ever want you, you know that, so look, the harbour is right here, go jump in! Jump, you're an ugly old fart, come on now, people so sad and unwanted have no reason to live, you know that, and no one will miss you, it's over, you'll never get sex ever again, now go jump in already you sad little man or don't you even dare do that, impotent sissy!"
Then he started hitting me until my BF came rushing and diverted the violence.)
I'm happy he didn't jump, we were standing at the edge of the harbour, next to his boat. But I never regretted a word. Boundaries, yeah, albeit a bit black&white in execution...I was 18 at the time.
If I still have a small emotional opening, thus still *hope* that we can reach eachother I might care to show that I feel angry, offended or something. But if I've given up hope that the other party will understand or be able to respond constructively to such a show of feelings, I will not even bother to insult them with destroying observations. They have turned into an obstacle and I don't express feelings to obstacles. I remove them. So at some point I decide that communication doesn't further the goal I want to reach, and then even sharp, hurting comments is deemed a waste of energy and not worth the effort.
To me, Te in the service of hurt Fi can be a killer mode. Ice-queen is a good description, Amar. I'm going in to kills something, a connection and thereby a net of potentiality. That's sacrilege for an ENFP, so something dies inside yourself too. Yes, Fi approves that it's necessary in order to keep something more important alive, but still. You die a little, it leaves you somewhat empty and exhausted. I'd mostly rather avoid it.
But I think the killermode - accepting to kill a network of potential in order to finish some imperfect actuality - could be put to good use at completing tasks at work. If only I could get it activiated without the emotional hurt and anger triggering it ...
Yes, it makes sense. There are definitely parts of it that I can relate to, but when I think about it, it also reminds me of the way a number of people of different types attempt to level the psychological playing field. I guess I'm still trying to determine how and where this all becomes Te/Fi specific. I imagine that women would be most likely to go this route. It'd be interesting to hear a male ENFPs view.
Yeah, I say this to myself, quite literally. Well, change girl to guy or keep it, whatever. But anyway, getting back to the point here -
this always makes me wonder, why does it get to this point? This is me to a t, and actually it's me most of the time lately, and why? well, maybe because of the very real violation of a special kind of trust. So again, i really do wonder why it is that those people who you gave almost everything to, like trust and feelings of love, those people who you would do pretty much anything for, end up violating all if this! so, yeah, bitchslap it is and will most likely continue to be untilsomeone here can come up with an explanation not worthy of a another bitchslap.
Closest to my experience. It's a detached laying out of my view. Ironically, it's strong emotion that leads there -- frustration, anger, disappointment... Once there though, I put Fi on hold while it seems like Te goes on a rampage. All emotion is removed and a crystal clear laying out of the events, the logic and sequence of events that transpired and what I expect in terms of a solution (I wouldn't bother if I didn't think there was something to gain even if it was only a 'lesson' for the party at the receiving end.)
During the Te bitchslap, I won't shy away from calling a spade a spade, will not soften my stance, will continue until the person gives up. I've got to be really frustrated with the situation for this to happen and it's far less likely with people I know in real life. It's mostly reserved for customer service reps who are rude, condescending, purposefully unhelpful, feign ignorance... and anyone else who demonstrates this behavior or another form of cruelty towards someone who did not deserve it and/or is not in a position to respond in kind/defend themselves.
HP - in a personal interaction where I feel wronged or disrespected, I'm more likely to remove myself from the situation than bring in the Te bitchslap. The only thing I have to offer is my time/attention and if I feel like the person wasn't worthy, I just won't offer it in the future. If the person persists, a short message saying 'thanks but no thanks' follows. I don't shy away from stating things as they are because honesty is best but cruelty is unnecessary and a waste of good energy at my end. This may be the Fe shadow you mentioned but I don't like to keep grudges either (more waste of energy on my part). So, I'd much rather just let it go, not bother with the person in the future while hoping they're leading a good life in an alternate universe.
ENTP guy and I were in our very early 20's and had one of those weird "not just friends" non-relationships. He'd told a co-worker of ours, a friend of his, some stuff that I didn't approve of because they were things that I didn't say. So I confronted him about it to set the record straight and he roared at me in turn. I tried to calm him down because he seemed enraged enough to hit me, and I guess both of us knew that the whole thing had come to a head. I planned to never speak to him again, but he initiated contact after he started dating his current wife(ISFJ), so I decided to be somewhat polite to him before I quit my job and went elsewhere. He contacted me again last year, married to the ISFJ and with three kids. Somehow the whole thing came up again, to which he tells me that he was in love with me and apparently my confrontation was read as a rejection, which was unexpected, and resulted in the madness.
). Thankfully, maturity and a natural development of control over emotions where they are easier to identify, categorize and somewhat pliable help. Emo displays just seem misplaced in the workplace
That explains the large number of ENTPS populating our prison system
