[ENFJ] ENFJ & INFP

[hommefatal]

I think this is a good pairing as long as both open up. Otherwise ENFJs could be 'offended' by Ne and Fi. I think ENFJs often really can't stand much curiosity and are a little afraid others could find out things they are ashamed of. So then they think of lame excuses because I act too much like a psychologist and if I show my emotions they think they're shallow.

ENFJs who don't open up are often drawn to ESTJs because they never make them feel uncomfortable. They won't talk much about their emotions then though.

But in general it's a good pairing because ENFJs help INFP become more outgoing and dependable, and INFPs help ENFJ become more independent and carefree. AND they can talk about their emotions easily.

 

[proteanmix]

Why do some people think all ENFJs want to do is talk about emotions?

 

[SpottingTrains]

<--Horrible at talking about my emotions but great at understanding what others are feeling.

 

[runvardh]

Why do some people think all ENFJs want to do is talk about emotions?

Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.

 

[hommefatal]

Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.

hahahaha, yeah

 

[Domino]

Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.

Can I borrow your eyeliner?

 

[proteanmix]

Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.

This is why I don't feel much allegiance to type descriptions.

But I think this emotional connectivity or whatever works much better for male ENFJs and female INFPs.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

I think it'd have to have been a pretty shallow emotional commitment for a J to be able to move on quickly and be excited about it. Not the sort of guy you'd be wanting to date, I suspect. Think of it a bit like a widower who has recently lost his wife. The commitment is over, there's absolutely nothing stopping him from moving on. But it takes a period of adjustment before he'd be able to start dating again without feeling like he was cheating on his wife. To say nothing of lingering grief. Obviously that's a bit of an extreme example, but the principle is similar.

It's been fairly extensively argued already on this forum, but I personally don't believe guys have a "friend zone" for girls they find attractive. So that's not really something you need to worry about imo.

About ENFJ's as widowers: SO true.

About men not having a friend zone: SOOOOOO true, in my life, I don't talk to women who I'm not somewhat attracted to. Physically or Emotionally. Period

Self-improvement is a big driver, yes. I suppose the inability to move on is part of that action - we see something as a giant failure and spend ages trying to pick through the wreckage and make sense of it. Probably a compulsion that may never find it's way to the nearest exit.

I'm a little embarrassed to say that it took years for me to get over my eNTP and ISTP. I would sit around rationalizing what happened, trying to make it hurt less, trying to assign blame or praise to where it made the most "sense". I went out with another guy knowing deep down I was still hung up on the ISTP and it really took a toll on me. The more I was trying to put myself out there, thinking I was being stupid and needed to just "get over it", the more I resented anyone touching me, looking at me, being anywhere near me in a romantic manner because they weren't HIM. In fact, it was a long conversation I had with the eNTP that brought me around finally. I was able to move on from there, and had something amazing with the eNTP.

Granted, it took me a long to get over him, too.



Yeah. Not cool. He shouldn't be doing that.

God KILL ME NOW. I am just like that. I still get upset about a failed attempt I made, I look back on it now and I just think I'm an idiot for letting it happen the way it did. Only thing it taught me was to not give my heart to anyone unless I'm 100% sure I want it/it would be reciprocated.

again ugh all i feel like is this when I look back on it. Mine was an estp. Part of me still thinks I can make it happen.


Kill me.

 

[Domino]

This is why I don't feel much allegiance to type descriptions.

But I think this emotional connectivity or whatever works much better for male ENFJs and female INFPs.

Interesting how that is. I was pondering it myself.

Then again, if you're Johnny Depp, come on over.

 

[runvardh]

Can I borrow your eyeliner?

Sure, once I find one of my 23 bottles lying around here... I think that's how many I have, I'd hate to have to drop by the drug store again.

This is why I don't feel much allegiance to type descriptions.

But I think this emotional connectivity or whatever works much better for male ENFJs and female INFPs.

Well, we have to be careful in recognizing the difference between type descriptions and type descriptive opinions. As for the emotional connectivity thing, I can see that; I'm more after someone who can level with me instead as I hate having to be the only sane one in the relationship.

Interesting how that is. I was pondering it myself.

Then again, if you're Johnny Depp, come on over.

Yeah, it sucks being F and not a pretty boy. *sigh*

 

[Domino]

God KILL ME NOW. I am just like that. I still get upset about a failed attempt I made, I look back on it now and I just think I'm an idiot for letting it happen the way it did. Only thing it taught me was to not give my heart to anyone unless I'm 100% sure I want it/it would be reciprocated.

again ugh all i feel like is this when I look back on it. Mine was an estp. Part of me still thinks I can make it happen.


Kill me.

Dear me, Johnathon. I feel like I should have been "smarter" about my choices too, but that's impossible. My hindsight is 20/20, or at least wants me to believe that is. When I think about either of those guys, I still get a half-wild feeling deep down. I think about eNTP frequently, and the other day, for some reason, when I was on the phone with my ENTJ bff, Athena, we got on the subject of my ISTP ex, and I was describing something about him to her, and I swear I got this horrible flash of presence, like he was standing right there. I felt tears coming to my eyes and stifled them.

I know it was real, what I had with both of them, and I still look back over my shoulder wondering why it had to happen if it ended this way... I couldn't control ISTP's drug problems. I couldn't make eNTP not cave to social pressure.

Ultimately, I walked out alone.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Dear me, Johnathon. I feel like I should have been "smarter" about my choices too, but that's impossible. My hindsight is 20/20, or at least wants me to believe that is. When I think about either of those guys, I still get a half-wild feeling deep down. I think about eNTP frequently, and the other day, for some reason, when I was on the phone with my ENTJ bff, Athena, we got on the subject of my ISTP ex, and I was describing something about him to her, and I swear I got this horrible flash of presence, like he was standing right there. I felt tears coming to my eyes and stifled them.

I know it was real, what I had with both of them, and I still look back over my shoulder wondering why it had to happen if it ended this way... I couldn't control ISTP's drug problems. I couldn't make eNTP not cave to social pressure.

Ultimately, I walked out alone.

ugh i just want the girl i liked to get fat now so I can feel relieved. it happened to the other two entps i liked and didnt end up with and they got realllllllll fat hahah. estps i think let themselves go over time. we shall see.

pirana know that you are not alone and i thought you were a man until about an hour ago haha

 

[Domino]

ugh i just want the girl i liked to get fat now so I can feel relieved. it happened to the other two entps i liked and didnt end up with and they got realllllllll fat hahah. estps i think let themselves go over time. we shall see.

lol

pirana know that you are not alone and i thought you were a man until about an hour ago haha

LOL!!! It's the beard, isn't it?

I'm in my avatar. Do I look like a man??

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

lol



LOL!!! It's the beard, isn't it?

I'm in my avatar. Do I look like a man??

no if your avatar is you then you're hot but before it was a man hitting a volleyball and i thought it was you!

 

[The Third Rider]

Glad to know I am not the only wreckage in here.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

About men not having a friend zone: SOOOOOO true, in my life, I don't talk to women who I'm not somewhat attracted to. Physically or Emotionally. Period.

ugh i just want the girl i liked to get fat now so I can feel relieved. it happened to the other two entps i liked and didnt end up with and they got realllllllll fat hahah. estps i think let themselves go over time. we shall see.

I can't figure out if you're the new ENFJ Sona or if you're an evil genius. But I couldn't figure that out about Sona either.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

sona?


evil genius? yes haha but with replace evil with good.

 

[Thessaly]

Yay!! I just had a break through with my ENFJ. Some beautiful, beautiful soul connecting we have now done. I feel so much better. I hope he stays out of his shell now and doesn't retreat like a deer in head lights again *knocks on wood*.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

do tell

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

God KILL ME NOW. I am just like that. I still get upset about a failed attempt I made, I look back on it now and I just think I'm an idiot for letting it happen the way it did. Only thing it taught me was to not give my heart to anyone unless I'm 100% sure I want it/it would be reciprocated.

again ugh all i feel like is this when I look back on it. Mine was an estp. Part of me still thinks I can make it happen.

Kill me.

Dear me, Johnathon. I feel like I should have been "smarter" about my choices too, but that's impossible. My hindsight is 20/20, or at least wants me to believe that is. When I think about either of those guys, I still get a half-wild feeling deep down. I think about eNTP frequently, and the other day, for some reason, when I was on the phone with my ENTJ bff, Athena, we got on the subject of my ISTP ex, and I was describing something about him to her, and I swear I got this horrible flash of presence, like he was standing right there. I felt tears coming to my eyes and stifled them.

I know it was real, what I had with both of them, and I still look back over my shoulder wondering why it had to happen if it ended this way... I couldn't control ISTP's drug problems. I couldn't make eNTP not cave to social pressure.

Ultimately, I walked out alone.

Am I standing in a fun house full of mirrors??