[ENFJ] ENFJ & INFP

[Glycerine]

NFJs seem like the most indecisive out of all the Js generally speaking. Yikes, huh? We have to MAKE SURE we want something or someone before we really pursue. However, once we make up our minds that we want something or someone, we pursue full force. Before that, we can be pretty wishy-washy. Make the guy aware of what he is doing!

 

[MrRandom88]

I always have to logically tell my mind to make a fast decision...otherwise I can just sway back and forth for a while.

 

[nicola.kirwan]

NFJs seem like the most indecisive out of all the Js generally speaking. Yikes, huh? We have to MAKE SURE we want something or someone before we really pursue. However, once we make up our minds that we want something or someone, we pursue full force. Before that, we can be pretty wishy-washy. Make the guy aware of what he is doing!

Sounds familiar.

Anyone have insights into what an immature or insecure ENFJ might look like?

 

[Glycerine]

In short, they need affirmation ALL THE TIME, can't take criticism, tends to avoid conflict at all costs, can become a attention hog or completely fade into the background, are paranoid that people don't like them so they will try way too hard to be liked or try to beat people to the punch by being purposefully obnoxious, can be obsessed w/ keeping up appearances.

 

[TopherRed]

So can somebody tell me when a relationship between an INFP and an ENFJ actually works out? I hear a lot of examples of ackward attempts, but not a single married couple to show for it. I don't even think they're all that noticeable in fiction, either.

And what is it about INFJs and ENFP couples being so popular in culture today?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Well, it took about three hours, but I got through this whole thing (even read all of the comments) and I felt that this could be complicated even more ! I have been interested in Myer-Briggs for about six months now and after reading this book and sites on the Myer-Briggs types specifically; I started looking up Ennegram as well as Socionics. Obviously they have the same general principle, but the latter two seem to specify some of the concepts.

In reading what I thought seemed to be the closest to the ENFJ in Ennegram form -->#9I'll put the link so everyone can verify it and tell me if I'm wrong.

9 - Enneagram Type Nine: The Peacemaker

It seemed to say the whole identity crisis appears because we try to morph ourselves around the others. The reason why, apparently, is that 9th degree is called the crown of the types (if not just because it is at the top of the system) it does it's best to keep the peace and I suppose if that means perverting their normal thoughts to avoid conflict, its possible. This with all of the other points above might show why we (I seem to be on the fence) have the tendency of being wishy-washy even though we have that 'J' in our description. Bam! My two cents!

 

[TheEmeraldCanopy]

So can somebody tell me when a relationship between an INFP and an ENFJ actually works out? I hear a lot of examples of ackward attempts, but not a single married couple to show for it. I don't even think they're all that noticeable in fiction, either.

And what is it about INFJs and ENFP couples being so popular in culture today?

+1

Does this pairing ever actually work out?

 

[Thessaly]

I've given up on it. INTJs ftw! Same intensity and complementary growth as ENFJs without the erratic emotion and indecisive bull crap.

 

[TopherRed]

Thess, who in the hell are you dating? I am neither erratic, nor indecisive, thank you very much.

 

[Kymlee]

Thess, who in the hell are you dating? I am neither erratic, nor indecisive, thank you very much.

This....

 

[Stanton Moore]

My GF is an ENFJ, and I must say, it's the best relationship I've ever been in. We seen to 'get' each other pretty well...She is very attuned to my moods and emotions, and is very protective and supportive, although I don't need her protection. I just take it as a symbol of her interest in me.
I really appreciate her social skills and her thoughtfulness - she has many friends, and seems to be intersted in all of them- in their happiness and success. She is also very enthusiastic, which is quite different from me!
I gave up a long time ago trying to be understood by most people, especially women, but she is so insightful and perceptive.

 

[TopherRed]

GO KOO GO! *chants*

 

[Glycerine]

Thess, who in the hell are you dating? I am neither erratic, nor indecisive, thank you very much.

Fuzzcrossed, I am guessing this comes w/ age. Younger, more inexperienced, insecure ENFJs might be more prone to be like that. From what I remember Thessaly's love interest seemed rather young. 18? 19? Not that I'm much older but still.

 

[TopherRed]

Yes, and at 18 or 19, I was definetly all of those things as I struggled to learn my place in the hierarchy of life (at the top, of course ). I don't believe Thess is much older than that herself. Tis amazing how INFPs can be deep and caring in one moment, but so fickle the next...reducing the latter comes with time and maturity, and good influences, all coming together to lift them up to be amazing people. Just like us.

 

[runvardh]

Yes, and at 18 or 19, I was definetly all of those things as I struggled to learn my place in the hierarchy of life (at the top, of course ). I don't believe Thess is much older than that herself. Tis amazing how INFPs can be deep and caring in one moment, but so fickle the next...reducing the latter comes with time and maturity, and good influences, all coming together to lift them up to be amazing people. Just like us.

So you're saying we should keep hurting eachother while we're young because when we're older we'll learn how to finally play nice? I had better things to do at that age...

 

[TopherRed]

That's not what I'm saying at all. How did you get that? Or are you saying that youth is no excuse for bad behavior?

 

[runvardh]

That's not what I'm saying at all. How did you get that?

We are no better, but let the kids be kids because they don't listen anyway. Just because some people can't handle a certian type at a certain point in their lives doesn't mean the potential for you to enjoy yours is going to shatter. Or at least, that's what impression I've been getting on this page. Hell, some of your own type that I think are younger than you are reacting to this better than you are.

 

[TopherRed]

We are no better, but let the kids be kids because they don't listen anyway. Just because some people can't handle a certian type at a certain point in their lives doesn't mean the potential for you to enjoy yours is going to shatter. Or at least, that's what impression I've been getting on this page. Hell, some of your own type that I think are younger than you are reacting to this better than you are.

Mmm...there's been a misunderstanding somewhere, because the only thing I reacted to was the accusation that ENFJs are all indecisive and erratic. I stand by that reaction, though I appreciate Pitselah's clarification on the age involved. Honestly, before Thessaly's post, I didn't read much prior; I was reacting what she said in that specific post, and that post alone. Does that clarify things my feline friend?

 

[runvardh]

Mmm...there's been a misunderstanding somewhere, because the only thing I reacted to was the accusation that ENFJs are all indecisive and erratic. I stand by that reaction, though I appreciate Pitselah's clarification on the age involved. Honestly, before Thessaly's post, I didn't read much prior; I was reacting what she said in that specific post, and that post alone. Does that clarify things my feline friend?

If it makes sense to you, I won't argue.

 

[TopherRed]

What were you trying to say? Simplify it for me.