efff me.

[scantilyclad]

I always get myself into this place in my life where I want out. When things start getting too repetitive and simple, I crave something more,something different and something more complex. It sucks that this time I can't runaway like I would usually do. Two years ago I could have just broke it all off with a hand full of lies and I could have pretended to never look back. I don't like feeling stuck. I don't like feeling like nothing is ever good enough.

Who am I to think that nothing is good enough? I can't even meet my own standards or live up to my own values and here I am constantly asking people to live up to mine. I guess I'm nothing but a hypocrite. I'm a silly, selfish girl no matter how much I much I try to be different. Every time I think I finally have what I've wanted and dreamed of my whole life, I'm wrong.

I miss the way things used to be, I hate sitting around hoping and dreaming that things will be the way that i imagine them to be. I will never be loved the way that I want to be loved, because that love only exists in my head.

If there is a small chance that this love and these dreams can actually exist, it's already too late for me to pursue them, because I'm stuck and sinking further down as time moves on.

 

[disregard]

This which you describe, and the times I've been nightmarishly disillusioned, are what keep me far away from relationships.

 

[LucrativeSid]

What kind of things do you do to make yourself happy?

 

[heart]

You may not the selfish one in this equation.

 

[scantilyclad]

What kind of things do you do to make yourself happy?

Lately the only thing that really makes me happy is watching my son do so many new things. I don't often have a lot of time to do the things that i used to do that brought me happiness.