Very interesting. Sounds like that's probably a big part of it, then.
What would be an example of a situation like in your 2nd paragraph?
From
this chart, it looks like most 1s are SJ (though INxJ are often 1s, also). It makes intuitive sense for most 1s to be SJ because of the focus on rules, rightness/wrongness, etc. And it makes intuitive sense for Perceivers to not often be 1s, because 1s tend to be a bit rigid and set in their ways, which Perceivers generally aren't.
No problem.
On the contrary, I feel incredibly averse to criticism, and I definitely need social approval. (Check out what I bolded in fidelia's earlier quote; she and I are both 1w2 so/sx, which is why I related to so much of it, and why she and I tend to "vibe" similarly (or so I've been told).) It's just that I don't see the outside world as a threatening place.
And, on reflection, I have been known to use self-deprecation as a protective shield, in some (rare) situations. But the mindset is different.
Vergil's mindset (to contrast):
My mindset:
So, it's not about preparing myself for feeling those feelings later. It's about deadening the feelings so I don't have to feel them at
all, later.
An example of my second paragraph would be like when in the military, someone walks up to me and says:
"Here's what's wrong with you and you need to fix it!"
I immediately think, "hmm, honest feedback? Lets hear it, I'm all for feedback and bettering myself."
He says, "You need to stop being arrogant. you're overconfident in your abilities. You have a sense of entitlement and ..."
I sit there and think, "hmm, I do?" I end up nodding in agreement saying, "Hmm, I'll work on these things."
I go back to my room and think it over. Then I'll realize, "no... wait a minute, I don't have a sense of entitlement at all. Where the hell is that coming from? Arrogant? I don't even know what it means to be arrogant. I'm the humblest person ever. Overconfident? I know exactly what I can and cannot do, how is that overconfident? I've not once in my life said I can do something that I can't do."
Then I stop and think, "well, I suspect they're wrong. I don't agree with this feedback at all."
Later down the road they realize I didn't take their feedback seriously.
40 people tell me I"m arrogant, overconfident, sense of entitlement, and that I need to be "more humble" and take their advice.
I sit there and I say, "what? I'm very humble, I do take your advice, but you don't understand."
But over time when you have every person who sees you telling you the same shit over and over you start to believe it yourself, no matter how strong minded you are.
Somewhere along the line, people will often tell me how I feel. I don't know why, but that frustrates the HELL out of me. If I am aware of how I feel before someone tells me, their words won't make much of a difference. But when I have no idea how I feel and someone tells me, "You're feeling X Y Z" it just sinks in almost immediately like they're programming me how to feel, and I get angry and have to force it out of my head. Its really wierd how it works. But if I'm in love, or I'm really angry, often times people don't mess with me because I usually know exactly how I feel.