Don't Be Yourself

[Kas]

I'm not myself among people I don't know well. I listen and watch more. I think in military it's called reconnaissance.

 

[miss fortune]

I have given people the advice on job interviews before of DON'T be yourself! Be who they want for you to be!

Of course I fail at that and suck at job interviews by being COMPLETELY honest when it's a bad idea to do so (i.e. why were you fired from that job? for dating my boss... but that's ok, we're still together even if he DID fire me!)

I'm pretty much myself all of the time... if I feel like talking about ancient burial practices or expressing myself almost entirely through body language I do so... I find that this keeps people on their toes which pleases me in some perverse manner I also dress how I feel like even if it might not be anything like what anyone else is wearing because I'd rather be comfortable than fashionable

 

[Jaguar]

Make life easier? Me?

 

[five sounds]

I keep my random thought firing under control. I try not to get too hammy.

I also try to keep my righteous rants down.

 

[Vasilisa]

straight toward the bonfire

Because–isn’t it drilled into us constantly, from childhood on, an unquestioned platitude in the culture–? From William Blake to Lady Gaga, from Rousseau to Rumi to Tosca to Mister Rogers, it’s a curiously uniform message, accepted from high to low: when in doubt, what to do? How do we know what’s right for us? Every shrink, every career counselor, every Disney princess knows the answer: “Be yourself.” “Follow your heart.” Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted–? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight toward a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster?…If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or…is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name?

Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch​

 

[Kullervo]

"Just be yourself" is often misinterpreted to mean "I'm fine the way I am". But if that was really true, then surely you would be happy?

What it really should be interpreted as is "Be the best you can be". Self-improvement doesn't require you to sacrifice your identity. This is one of the main excuses people use to avoid changing an unhealthy lifestyle, or challenging a false belief.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

 

[Flâneuse]

The vast majority of the time I don't show my true self unless I think there's a good chance I'm going to be accepted and understood. As reticent as I am to express my thoughts at times, in real life expressing my emotions is even more difficult and makes me feel vulnerable. The positive side to having so much emotional restraint is that I'm rarely unkind or hostile to people, even when I feel angry and annoyed inside. (I rarely take my anger out on people who don't deserve it, and if the person is actually doing something that warrants my anger, I can usually ask them to stop without blowing up.) The downside is that it's hard to show genuine warmth and connect with people, as well. I do, however, have occasional moments where I feel the urge to express myself in an unfiltered way, and how people receive it is an afterthought.

In a nutshell, I believe filters are a great thing in moderation; they can keep you from acting like an asshole and can protect your inner self from people who wouldn't respect it. Different levels of filtering are right for different personalities - some people are naturally very unfiltered without being abrasive, and others are naturally much more reserved, and there's nothing wrong with either one. I think getting a feel for others first and gradually opening up as you start to trust them more is a good idea if you're very shy and sensitive. However, I also think the world would be a dull place if not for those brave souls who aren't afraid to openly let their freak flags fly and can easily disregard others' judgmental opinions.

 

[grey_beard]

Because–isn’t it drilled into us constantly, from childhood on, an unquestioned platitude in the culture–? From William Blake to Lady Gaga, from Rousseau to Rumi to Tosca to Mister Rogers, it’s a curiously uniform message, accepted from high to low: when in doubt, what to do? How do we know what’s right for us? Every shrink, every career counselor, every Disney princess knows the answer: “Be yourself.” “Follow your heart.” Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted–? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight toward a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster?…If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or…is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name?

Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch​

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "I suppose one could compromise by circling the bowl a few times on the way down."

 

[Destiny]

Be yourself. This is common advice. Maybe it's because everybody is really a shining jewel deep down inside. Or maybe because it's really not worth the effort to work against yourself.

But, what I want to hear is when you're not yourself. What are those subjects that you're interested in that you've decided just creeps everybody out, or bores them? What is that thing you want to wear that your friends have expressedly told you not to? What have you changed about yourself to make life easier?

Lol I remembered when I used to believe in the Buddhism religion back then I would often collect a bunch of cards that have quotes and poems that are related to things like karma, past lives etc. When I showed my friend those stuff, she freaked out at me and told me to keep those stuff away from her.

Then I have another friend, she says my biggest flaw is that I love talking too much about astrology.

I also happened to be interested in things like mummies, taxidermy, and I also have a deep interest in psychology and would often spend hours researching and watching documentaries about serial killers and mentally ill people because I'm curious what makes them tick.


These are just some bizarre hobbies of mine, which I've learnt not to discuss with people around me because nobody around me understands it.

Everybody are into things that are normal, but not everybody has the patience for things that are out of the ordinary. They would freak out and look at you as if you were some weirdo, so I guessed there are some things that one should just keep to ourselves.

 

[DreamBeliever]

[MENTION=19552]Destiny[/MENTION] Those people are missing out on some good discussions then, because I'd be happy talk about any of those things, minus taxidermy (only because i'm huge on animal rights). Buddhism is really interesting. I even took a class on it in college. Actually, I remember believing in past lives as a kid, before I ever even heard about Buddhism or anyone else even mention past lives. I also wrote a paper about karma for one of my English classes. The topic was to write about something you believe in, or something along those lines. I love astrology & psychology stuff, too. I probably know more about psychology than people that are majoring in it or possibly even practicing it. I was really interested in knowing more about sociopaths for awhile, so you shouldn't feel too strange about watching those documentaries. Astrology is a huge passion of mine, too. It's not enough to only know my sun sign for me. I have to know about the whole chart (the houses, aspects, moon sign, mercury sign, etc.). I would like to learn more about mummies. I'm hugely fascinated by Egypt. btw, maybe it's my 8th house sun that draws me to 'weird' things? Oh, & I see you changed your type to ISFJ?

 

[Destiny]

[MENTION=19552]Destiny[/MENTION] Those people are missing out on some good discussions then, because I'd be happy talk about any of those things, minus taxidermy (only because i'm huge on animal rights). Buddhism is really interesting. I even took a class on it in college. Actually, I remember believing in past lives as a kid, before I ever even heard about Buddhism or anyone else even mention past lives. I also wrote a paper about karma for one of my English classes. The topic was to write about something you believe in, or something along those lines. I love astrology & psychology stuff, too. I probably know more about psychology than people that are majoring in it or possibly even practicing it. I was really interested in knowing more about sociopaths for awhile, so you shouldn't feel too strange about watching those documentaries. Astrology is a huge passion of mine, too. It's not enough to only know my sun sign for me. I have to know about the whole chart (the houses, aspects, moon sign, mercury sign, etc.). I would like to learn more about mummies. I'm hugely fascinated by Egypt. btw, maybe it's my 8th house sun that draws me to 'weird' things? Oh, & I see you changed your type to ISFJ?

Wow, we have lots of similar interests, I think we will get along quite well if we were to know each other in real life. And yeah, I have always been fascinated with astrology. I started reading up about this stuff when I was like 13 years old? I had a crush on a classmate of mine at that time, so every day after I came home from school I would start going onto the internet and start researching all the astrological compatability stuff, then one day, I stumbled upon a birth chart, and I started being curious about all those moon signs, mercury signs, ascendant signs thingy. Then I continued reading up more about it, and then from there I learnt about the houses, aspects, planets etc. Somehow, astrology makes me understand why two people of the same sun sign can have extremely different personality. It also makes me understand why we clash with some people and why we clicked with some people, it's not the sun signs that determines whether two people will get along, but it's the synastry aspects between two people that determines how well they will get along with each other. I also researched quite a bit about things like numerology, yin/yang, twinflames, soulmates, HSP, empaths, lightworkers etc. And of course, things like past lives, reincarnation, NDE and the afterlife as well. I have always been curious where people went to after they passed away. Some people say that death is the final, but I refused to believe it. Somehow, I believe that the afterlife exist, and from what I read up about NDE so far, my conclusion doesn't seem very far off.

I used to research a lot about ghosts and spirits too. I often heard people around me mentioning how they encounter ghosts in their life, but I refused to believe it, so I decided to do my own research about it to see whether ghosts really exist in this world. I have a truth-seeker side to me and I refused to believe things that I heard from others, at least not until I have done my own research about those things. I've always been a spiritual person since a young age, always researching into metaphysical things of this world. I often find myself feeling very detached from this world. This world is just too concrete and practical for a spiritual person like me, and I have lots of difficulty adapting to this world, I often feel like an alien living on planet earth.

And yep I've changed my type to ISFJ. Haha actually I'm not very sure of my mbti type either. I am pretty good at typing others, but when it comes to typing myself, I am pretty sucky at it. But I have mostly been typed as INFP, INFJ, INTJ, and ISFJ by others, so I supposed I am either one of these types