Weight has never been an issue. It has been extremely stable all my life.
The heaviest I have ever weighed was 54 kilos at age 17 after spending a year in America (more junkfood than at home and no sport which I hated but had to do over here), the lightest - once fully grown - was 49 kilos. I have never been above or below the 50-52 kilo range in at least a decade without ever having to do anything about it.
I have never been on a diet and I hate sports. But since I don't have a car, I walk a lot and I do have a small stomach by nature, so I am easily full and used to eating small portions. My diet contains way too much junk but I also have a natural craving for salad and veggies often enough to stay healthy. Looking at my immediate family I assume a good bit of it is genetic, all of them have been pretty healthy and stable over their lifetime.
But being happy (and lucky!) with my weight and figure does not mean that I like everything about my body. Far from it.
- My legs are disproportionately short and finding a pair of jeans that fits is a nightmare (seriously, 28w,30l - how hard can it be?! Ahggrrrrrr!). That means that I look like a child who snitched her momma's shoes when I wear high heels. So it's either flats (more comfortable anyway) or midrange heels at the most.
- It took me 31 years (i.e. until a few months ago) to find the right hair treatment so that I don't look like I am wearing a flat, lifeless piece of straw on my head (think stereotypical geek).
- It took my facial skin for ever to clear up and I still have to pay the price when I leave the slightest bit of makeup on for too. So I usually don't wear any at all.
- My c cups are okay but I am absolutely paranoid about them dropping. The French have this test where you put a pencil under your breast. It stays put with my arms down and drops the moment I raise them - so I guess I'm still in the clear. Hmmm.
- Frida Kahlo has nothing on my younger self when it comes to monobrows...yay for tweezers!
- I wear both glasses and contact lenses. I felt ugly for 21 years until I finally had my contacts - how I hated those glasses!!! - and still feel much more at ease with them compared to my glasses. But lately I have gotten lazy and started to feel okay about seeing myself in them. The boyfriend even claims he prefers me this way (a bit of a nerd fetish
)
So yeah, let's say that despite never having had a weight problem at all, I felt unattractive for about the first 2/3 of my life and attractive for the last 1/3. I still hate to be photographed though. That never changed!
Weight isn't everything.
