Do You Like Going To The Movies Alone?

[OrangeAppled]

Again, I totally get that. So is the whole insistence of bringing someone else along to allow for the event to lead into something else? If so, I can kinda understand that as well. But if your intentions are simply to see the movie and then return home, I just don't see why having someone else along would matter. The fact that some people would say that seeing a movie alone would make them look/feel foolish just seems totally absurd, but yet there's a huge social stigma tagged with doing any activity alone publicly. To me it all just sounds like delusion and insecurity.

Pretty much yeah. Since I prefer to watch movies at home (even with people, for the aforementioned reason of being able to talk - and you know, cheap snacks ), the consideration of going alone doesn't even come up much for me. I only go to a theatre when someone else invites me. I'm a total homebody and being able to do stuff at home usually appeals to me.

Now, as for doing stuff alone in public, I can very much enjoy it & don't feel a stigma. I like to go to concerts alone, for example. Some of the most fun shows I've been to were ones I went alone to. I rarely end up spending the whole time alone anyway, as being alone makes you very approachable & I always end up talking to someone. Since I'm not one to initiate, it actually is a good way to meet strangers I'd otherwise not interact with, but that is not my motive for going alone.

 

[Thalassa]

I go to the movies alone sometimes. It's not about socializing, it's about I WANT TO SEE THIS FILM RIGHT NOW IN THEATER. Some films are better in theater than on DVD, or I want to see it sooner rather than later, and I have no problem what-so-ever going alone. In fact, it pretty much assures me that no one is going to talk to me if it's a film I really want to study or lose myself in.

I go to the movies sometimes with other people, but I don't see why going alone would be a big deal. In some cases it could be preferable (i.e. totally fine if going with friends or a date if the entire purpose is social activity, or at least if the person won't interrupt the film with unnecessary talking....it totally sucks if you go with some ADD chatterbox who will ruin your experience of the film.)

 

[Thalassa]

I wonder how much this has to do with how seriously you take film. My ex, the film collector, who is ESFJ and a stereotypically social type, would sometimes also go see films alone for the same reasons I stated.

 

[Phantonym]

Yes, I do. And actually prefer it most of the time. That way I don't have to worry about whether the people I'm going with would like to see the same movie I'd like to see, or whether they'd have the time or money to even go to the movies. I just go whenever I feel like and see whatever I feel like seeing. And I really like to ponder over the movie on my own for a while, so going alone means that I won't feel pressured to form an opinion on something and discuss things I haven't had the chance to think about yet.

Even the thought of going anywhere alone seemed awful when I was younger and suffered from quite severe social anxiety. After I finally got over that, the sense of liberation was such a relief that I usually remind myself of that every time I do end up going to the movies alone. I am victorious.

 

[Red Herring]

I go to the movies alone sometimes. It's not about socializing, it's about I WANT TO SEE THIS FILM RIGHT NOW IN THEATER. Some films are better in theater than on DVD, or I want to see it sooner rather than later, and I have no problem what-so-ever going alone. In fact, it pretty much assures me that no one is going to talk to me if it's a film I really want to study or lose myself in.

I go to the movies sometimes with other people, but I don't see why going alone would be a big deal. In some cases it could be preferable (i.e. totally fine if going with friends or a date if the entire purpose is social activity, or at least if the person won't interrupt the film with unnecessary talking....it totally sucks if you go with some ADD chatterbox who will ruin your experience of the film.)

This. If I really want to see it, I don't mind going alone. I love movies and it allows me to really take it in. There are other occasions where I agree to see some mediocre picture with friends or a date when the idea of going out together and doing something takes priority.

Also, there was a phase when I had no tv and lived in a town with cheap cinemas, so I went there pretty regularly to quench my thirst for entertainment ...usually alone.

 

[Thalassa]

Yes, I do. And actually prefer it most of the time. That way I don't have to worry about whether the people I'm going with would like to see the same movie I'd like to see, or whether they'd have the time or money to even go to the movies. I just go whenever I feel like and see whatever I feel like seeing. And I really like to ponder over the movie on my own for a while, so going alone means that I won't feel pressured to form an opinion on something and discuss things I haven't had the chance to think about yet.

Even the thought of going anywhere alone seemed awful when I was younger and suffered from quite severe social anxiety. After I finally got over that, the sense of liberation was such a relief that I usually remind myself of that every time I do end up going to the movies alone. I am victorious.

Me too! I feel empowered by doing things alone! Like I remember the first time I ate in a restaurant that wasn't fast food alone, I felt really awkward like everyone was looking at me (I was only about 19 at the time) but then through having waitressing jobs and getting older I noticed that people eat in restaurants by themselves all the time, often bring a book or even work, or just enjoy their peace and quiet. My grandfather used to do it, as a matter of fact.

I went to the movies alone for the first time in my twenties, because it was hellishly hot outside in Vegas that day (as it is for a solid three months or more of the year) and I wanted to be in air conditioning. I think my ex was a good motivator for me to learn to do that, because he did it (with him being so into film both as a hobby and as a way to earn money, and having interest in films that none of his friends wanted to see) ...I realized it was a wonderfully liberating thing, and I've seen at least two or three movies alone in the past year.

I feel empowered doing things by myself.

 

[Totenkindly]

Well, I'm sure changes that happen as one ages has something to do with it. Sometimes people are compelled to branch out and/or expand who they are.

I've spent my whole life doing things alone, easily; and now I'd like to actually have people my life whom I share experiences with. I've done the "alone" thing more than enough, and I'm bored and tired of it.

Maybe for extroverts, when they start digging into themselves and trying to build a solid self core, it is very empowering to walk to the world alone without any need for other people, and to find joy and fulfillment in have that "alone" time. It's another form of self-expansion and empowerment.

 

[Viridian]

While I seldom go to the movies - I prefer some of the perks of watching a DVD - when I do go, it's usually with someone. It feels a bit lonely being in a dark, air-conditioned room with a bunch of people I don't know. Of course, depending on whom you choose as a partner, you run a few "risks", which extend to pretty much any variation of the shared movie-watching experience:

* Your companion might have found the movie silly and clichéd, and you end up feeling kinda bad if you liked it;
* You might not have understood very well the "point" of the movie, which makes the after-movie conversation pretty awkward;
* Your preoccupation with whether or not your companion is enjoying the experience can distract you from actually watching the movie.

And, of course, there's an arm to tug if things get a bit scary. I'm glad I had someone with me when I watched Black Swan.

 

[SilkRoad]

Pretty much yeah. Since I prefer to watch movies at home (even with people, for the aforementioned reason of being able to talk - and you know, cheap snacks ), the consideration of going alone doesn't even come up much for me. I only go to a theatre when someone else invites me. I'm a total homebody and being able to do stuff at home usually appeals to me.

Now, as for doing stuff alone in public, I can very much enjoy it & don't feel a stigma. I like to go to concerts alone, for example. Some of the most fun shows I've been to were ones I went alone to. I rarely end up spending the whole time alone anyway, as being alone makes you very approachable & I always end up talking to someone. Since I'm not one to initiate, it actually is a good way to meet strangers I'd otherwise not interact with, but that is not my motive for going alone.

See, I prefer going to a movie alone to going to a concert alone. I don't mind a bit being at a concert alone when the band is playing and I'm jumping up and down screaming. In fact, sometimes I prefer not being with anyone I know because I lose my inhibitions more. That part of it is great, and I've had some of my best concert experiences alone, but that's mainly based on how much I enjoyed the band. But I do feel awkward when I'm standing there alone in between bands or before the main act or whatever and every single other person is with someone. I do chat with strangers occasionally, but often I don't really feel like it, and then I feel really awkward.

 

[iwakar]

I've gone to the movies alone more than once. If there's no one that I would want to go with available and I want to see the movie, why not? It's not a particularly social outing.

OrangeAppled's comments made me chuckle because the INFP ex would never dream of going to the movie theatre alone, but he does/has gone to concerts alone... which is something I won't do.

 

[Lightyear]

I live in a big city where people are incredibly busy (or make themselves incredibly busy) and you often have to plan nights out weeks in advance. So if I would have to search for someone to go with me every single time I want to see a movie in the cinema... TOO MUCH STRESS!

 

[Litvyak]

I don't get the "I look stupid" part, why would you look stupid? Why would anybody care if you're alone? And if you do look stupid, why would you care? I don't think I'll ever understand this. I have so many things to fear from, why create even more barriers for myself?

Maybe for extroverts, when they start digging into themselves and trying to build a solid self core, it is very empowering to walk to the world alone without any need for other people, and to find joy and fulfillment in have that "alone" time. It's another form of self-expansion and empowerment.

Spot on!

 

[Jaguar]

Yes, I like going to the movies alone. I also like using the bathroom alone.

 

[Spamtar]

Yeah. A little embarrassing walking in alone like some lovable loser, but after that pure marmalade.

 

[OrangeAppled]

See, I prefer going to a movie alone to going to a concert alone. I don't mind a bit being at a concert alone when the band is playing and I'm jumping up and down screaming. In fact, sometimes I prefer not being with anyone I know because I lose my inhibitions more. That part of it is great, and I've had some of my best concert experiences alone, but that's mainly based on how much I enjoyed the band. But I do feel awkward when I'm standing there alone in between bands or before the main act or whatever and every single other person is with someone. I do chat with strangers occasionally, but often I don't really feel like it, and then I feel really awkward.

Yeah, that part can be awkward. I think the desire to see a band I like live wins out. I don't know enough people who like the same music I do, or who like to go to shows as much. When I had a job & the funds, I would go to a show almost as much as once a week. However, I maybe go to the movies twice a year on my own accord, because there are far less films I am interested in seeing. Half the ones I want to see require a drive also, because they tend to be limited release. So that makes bringing another person along to make it a full outing appealing.

Being alone does let you get fully absorbed in the music more though, and I suppose that is true of movies also. When I'm with people, they're always surprised to see this usually reserved, calm person shout & dance & jump during the concert .

----

I was thinking a bit more about the emotional reaction aspect of watching movies also. My INFJ bf tells me it makes him laugh to see/hear his mom laugh. I've been that way with my sister & dad - they sometimes laugh at unusual things, and it almost helps me see the humor in it.

Again, I think that's part of sharing the experience for some. Sure, you may not be alone in a theatre & may still get the effect of other people's reactions, but family/friends' reactions are going to affect you more. You are sharing the emotional experience, even if not interacting. At the same moment you are laughing or tearing up or in suspense, or whatever. Even if you don't discuss it afterwards, it happened. I realize this is not a significant enough bonding experience to greatly impact the experience if you decide to go alone though (and at times may be unwanted as it can be distracting), but it is one added benefit of company.

I've always been a loner, so I think it's an opposite revelation for me, that the company of others can be valuable in itself, without any profound exchange required.

 

[prplchknz]

I would be more open to it if it wasn't 12 dollars a person. I usually go maybe once a year and get vip seats so I can get drunk while watching the movie. It's more expensive especially since the bar is pretty pricey but once a year might aswell. And I usually go with people, now I love watching movies alone at home, but I'm paying 8 dollars a month for netflix so damn straight I'm gonna watch movies.

 

[Gloriana]

I love going to the movies alone. I love going with others as well, but certain films I just want to see by myself. I go to concerts alone from time to time as well. Especially if I'm stressing out, one jaunt to the movies on my own and I come out feeling totally chilled out and ready to take on the next thing.

We have an old movie theater here that has matinees during the week for $2. One day my fella and I saw three movies in a row (The Reader, Milk, and Slumgdog Millionaire), smuggled in our drinks and snacks in my purse after buying them from Big Lots, and got a hamburger at the joint next door between shows. All together it was less than $15 a piece for the whole day. The seats aren't the fancy 'lounge' types of seats they have now, and a lot of people go there in their pajama pants, but we love it. We're both poor, cheap bastards and that place is like friggin' heaven.

 

[Such Irony]

Yes. If the other person doesn't enjoy the movie we are watching it affects me emotionally, it lessens the experience for me. So I rather go on my own and make my own mind up.

Yes, I prefer watching alone for that reason. Unless its a movie my companion and I are seeing a second time because we both enjoyed it.

Although that seems to be a pretty commonly shared opinion, I've never understood what actual purpose bringing someone else to the movies with you serves. The entire setting of a movie theater is pretty impersonal, and for the duration of the film you aren't, or shouldn't be at the very least, interacting with that person or anyone else. Also, I thought perhaps it was due to wanting to discuss the movie with someone that would explain this, but if you and someone else see the same movie at different dates, you've still come to take part in the same experience. Is it that insecurity of giving the outward appearance of a loner that sparks this? Either way, I wouldn't exactly consider a movie to be the way to enjoy someone else's company.

My thoughts exactly. Why is there such a stigma associated with going to the movies alone? I've done it a few times and felt kind of uncomfortable like people were staring at me like I'm some friendless loser. Oh well, I sucked it up and went alone anyway.

Why are movies common for first dates? So you don't have to talk much, yet spend time together? If you really want to get to know someone on a first date, I'd opt for a romantic restaurant or someplace where there's more opportunites for conversation.

 

[Gloriana]

My thoughts exactly. Why is there such a stigma associated with going to the movies alone? I've done it a few times and felt kind of uncomfortable like people were staring at me like I'm some friendless loser.

I've felt a little bit of that going to concerts alone, but only once or twice. I've never felt it with the movies, maybe because I've been going to the movies alone since I was ten years old (I saw "Home Alone" way too many times, a memory that I'm still conflicted about and haunted by). When it comes to movies, I just don't give a shit about what anyone may or may not be thinking about me being there alone, and really, I don't think others actually notice all that much.

I don't get why someone would be a loser going to the movies alone, does not compute. There was a big, rotund fella who came to a trivia night at a sports bar my Improv group and I used to frequent after rehearsals. People were giving this guy such smack when he walked in, but he kicked everyone's ass at trivia that night. He called himself "Harley Man" and he was a god in that joint from then on out. Same thing with the rare peeps I've seen going to karaoke nights alone, hella respect.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I go alone probably 75% of the time. I don't like to have to try to find someone to go whenever I want to go, and besides, I'll have to negotiate what movie to see, what time to go, blergh. I also like to do two at a time, and not a lot of people are up for that. I really value seeing a movie in the theater, too...I think movies are a communal experience and I love that vibe of everyone gasping together or laughing together. It's kind of a solitary group experience, if you will. It kind of bums me out that so many people watch movies on the internet. It's like listening to a symphony on a crackly transistor radio with crappy headphones.