Do you have goals and dreams?

[Kiddo]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?
Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?
Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

 

[FDG]

No, I prefer to live day-by-day, I don't fare well with distant purposes. Short-term, sure, I have many goals. For this year for example I want to finish my undergrad education and climb with my bike 30 new climbs, along with partecipating to two quite big races, and become better at ice skating. I'm pretty sure the biking and ice skating will make me happy, studying not so much but it has to be done. As far as working, I'll try to remain to the levels of productivity I achieved last year, but it won't be easy given that working and studying are somewhat mutually exclusive.

I don't have much of a marker of success, I try to do my best at things I do and see what comes out and take it.

 

[white]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?
Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?
Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

I used to have a lot of those. But I've found it only made me harder on myself. More discontented if you wish.

Part of inner peace came from letting go, in a way. Letting go of needing to be perfect. Needing to be whole and happy. Still learning to let go of needing to be loved.

Paradoxically, by letting go of all that, I became more still, happier. It became easier to focus. I think I'm still trying to find what I want to do. Balance it with what I have to do. I know what I have to do, but not what I want to do, I guess.

Does that make sense?

 

[Athenian200]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?
Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?
Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

Well, I plan to finish college within the next 5 years. After that I plan to get a job, and possibly move out and find a place to live after I've gotten one I can support myself on. I plan to save as much money as I can in case of emergencies and for retirement. I plan to mostly spend my time at work or at home relaxing. I might also try to build up a social network so that I'll have friends to interact with and something to do occasionally. I'll consider myself successful if I can stabilize things enough to reach that point and stay there.

With the economy the way it is as well as unpredictability, there are a lot of things. Recession, increasing skill requirements, just not being able to keep up with everyone else, etc.

If they're crushed, I guess I'll just be struggling and desperate to keep myself afloat, and I'll never have time to do anything that interests me. I'd be quite sad that things had turned out that way.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I used to have a lot of those. But I've found it only made me harder on myself. More discontented if you wish.

Part of inner peace came from letting go, in a way. Letting go of needing to be perfect. Needing to be whole and happy. Still learning to let go of needing to be loved.

Paradoxically, by letting go of all that, I became more still, happier. It became easier to focus. I think I'm still trying to find what I want to do. Balance it with what I have to do. I know what I have to do, but not what I want to do, I guess.

Does that make sense?

Some of this brings me back around to a question I ask myself from time to time.
Where can we distinguish acceptance and resignation?
What is the distinction between "letting go" and "giving up"?

 

[white]

Where can we distinguish acceptance and resignation? What is the distinction between "letting go" and "giving up"?

Acceptance frees me. I feel lighter, almost literally. Perhaps that is the shift in thinking nightning spoke of in the other thread. Resignation deadens me.

It is as if a point of view dies, but I'm still blinkered and not able to see other perspectives. I just squat on a dead hope and pray for change and release.

Resignation misses the release, I guess.

But that's just me. Same with letting go and giving up. One is done via an inner shift. The other is forced on you. So the former liberates. The latter clamps further chains on you.

 

[ygolo]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?
Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?
Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

I do have goals and dreams. Most of the concrete goals I've set (getting a job in a particular industry, finishing degrees, even getting onto particular schools, finacial goals, etc. I've accomplished). The concrete goals tends to be fairly realistic.

But I have some dreams (these are more epehemeral, abstract, and demanding) that have gone unmet for quite some time. I tried letting them go--still trying to let them go.

I also have a problem setting concrete "personal" (non-career) goals. For some reason, setting SMART goals for non-career related things feels wrong.

Acceptance frees me. I feel lighter, almost literally. Perhaps that is the shift in thinking nightning spoke of in the other thread. Resignation deadens me.

It is as if a point of view dies, but I'm still blinkered and not able to see other perspectives. I just squat on a dead hope and pray for change and release.

I'm trying to let go of a dear dream of mine, but it feels a lot more like resignation than release.

 

[alcea rosea]

Goals and dreams have always been the thing that keeps me being interested and happy. Now that I have reached most of my goals regarding to family, children, living conditions and studies, I'm a bit lost. Career wise I'm not too contended. I have made some future plans but things are kind of open at the moment and I do not like it. I always need a goal and dreams that I can reach to. It doesn't matter if I don't reach my goals because I can always change the plans and the goals. But I definitely need some goals.

And now the questions:
If so, what are they?
I don't know at the moment and I don't like the feeling not knowing brings to me.

Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?
Yes, absolutely.

Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years?
Hopefully having a job that gives me something and in which I can really contribute.

What will be your occupation?
I wouldn't know.

If you aren't already, will you be married with kids?
I am already and have 3 kids.

Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
The first option already.

Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?
I have goals and know exactly when achieving them although my goals are a bit missing at the moment.

Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
If I don't I change my goals and the plans to achieve them.

How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?
See the answer above.


Very interesting thread! Thanks Kiddo!

 

[arcticangel02]

Do you have goals and dreams?

Goals, no, dreams, sure. 'Goals' seem so major and such that would require a heck of a lot of work to achieve them... I rarely resolve to do something that's beyond my immediate future (my goal is to get this assignment in by noon on friday), because I know I'll just change my mind next week. I don't know what I want, so I don't know what is really worthy of me putting in that immense amount of effort to get it.

I would much rather do a minimum of work and not get what I want than work my ass off to get something that when I do get it, decide I don't want it after all. (Of course, one could argue that I'm completing this (by no means easy) degree, and I'm putting a lot of work into something that's not ultimately going to be something I really have this huge desire to achieve... )

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?

My dreams, on the other hand... they're more wishes/hopes. I'm quite sure I can be healthy and happy without them (because as you will soon see they fall well into the realm of 'unrealistic ideals'), but gosh it would be nice.

For example, I would love to end up married to a handsome, intelligent, loving someone (*snicker* ) who is also wealthy and influencial - not famous, (ugh no), but someone who is well-known and respected in his community/field of work. That would enable me to live comfortably whether I choose to work or not, and I could indulge in looking pretty and buying expensive dresses on occasion.

Yes, I know, I know, totally unrealistic, but hey, that's why they're dreams and not goals.

Also, my 'dreams' focus very little on career - I just don't really think about it so much. I'd love to travel lots, and get to meet lots of esteemed peers, but beyond that, well, it'll come and go as it does.

Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation?

I see my future as unfolding like this:

I'm currently beginning the third year of a five year degree, so naturally that's all I'm going to being do for the next three years (or four, if I decide to take six months off and do some proper work experience). After that I expect to work as an architect for a few years, maybe five or so? Travel a bit.

Then I want to get married, and then in the few years after that have a kid or two. Then maybe once they get older I can go back to working part-time/whenever I feel like it.

That's about all I can see in my future. Any more details I'll leave to time to figure out.

If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?

I'd very much like to be married with children. Whether I find the right person or not (and when that happens) is totally up to chance, of course.

As far as my lifestyle, well, I think I would love to live in a few different places across the globe for three or four years each... just for the experience, (one time in an inner-city apartment, another time in a quaint european village, another time in a rural chateau, and another time on a beautiful tropical island! ) before settling down in a more permanent location once the kids need to go to high school (probably back in my home town - it's good for families here).

Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?

I don't. I don't think anything can measure the sort of dreams I have mentioned, and career wise I don't really care. Of course prestige and success would be nice, but I don't expect it.

Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?

I don't find the right person (or not 'in time'). I totally bail on my degree (yes, I've contemplated it before) and end up working as a shop assistant for the rest of my life. () No, I kinda want to try being a diplomat/international politician, so maybe I'd give that a shot if this one doesn't work out.

How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

I honestly don't depend on these things for my happiness, so I just think by the time I've gotten to the point where my dreams haven't come to fruition, I'll be so wrapped up in my actual life that I'll have forgotten all about them.

Besides, I have a strong belief that no matter what happens, I will end up happy and content in the end, so there you go.

 

[JustDave]

If so, what are they?
To complete my Master degree, move up to a managment postions and hopefully be a wise benevolent boss.

And, of course, find a nice women, get married and have kids.

Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy? Yes.

Where will you be in 5 years? Where I am now only with a bit more money.

In 10 years? Hopefully living in my own home.

What will be your occupation? Lord of the Underworld? I'm not sure, probably chief network architect.

If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Hopefully.

Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world? House with a varnished stockade fence.

Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you
have achieved it? There are two parts to my success. I have to acheive my tangible goals yet at the same time be happy and not lose my humanity in the process.

Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams? Yes, numerous.

How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed? Make new goals.

 

[snegledmaca]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?
Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?
Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

Gah... I'd rather not. Thinking about such things is... unnatural for me. I deal with thing when and as they arise. For the most part I just assume nothing unexpected, "interesting" will happen. I do make certain general guidelines, like I am going to college, but anything other then those incredibly general things I determine nothing about my future. I also have certain things I do and have done in the past that I don't see changing so I think that can be taken to be here in a couple of years time and determining my future. All in all, I have no idea what "the future" holds, don't particularly care/would rather not deal with managing it, and just generally think that if nothing changes significantly things will be ok and I will deal with things/problems as they arise.

 

[Ender]

Only real goals I have is that I'd like be married and have kids by the time I'm 40.

 

[prplchknz]

Ok here is what I want to do after I graduate college travel around the country (possibly-hopefully the world) and do documentary work all this time work on scripts then when I decide its time to settle down try getting an agent and submitting some of ideas to producers, and I think if I need money I'd like to teach college level classes at a small liberal arts college after I've settled down. But that's just a rough idea of what I'd like to do.

 

[sassafrassquatch]

Nope

 

[Metamorphosis]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?

Short term: I will probably get a job soon to help pass the time. Get closer to my physical, mental, and social goals. Make more money. Understand myself better and what motivates me, to avoid making stupid decisions. Attempt to find a career that suits me or choose one from my current list of options. Go on a sweet unplanned roadtrip around the U.S. Travel to Europe.

Long term: I would like to own a castle at some point and make a monument so amazing that God says, "Damn! Why didn't I think of that?" <- probably not in the cards, though. I want to be financially secure (and free) enough that I can spend my time enjoying the company of my friends and family and make sure that they are well looked after. I have some other goals that I'd rather not post, too.

Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?

I have no idea. Hopefully somewhere good, doing something I enjoy. I would like to get married and have kids, but I really wouldn't wish the life I plan on living on anyone, so maybe not...we'll see. More likely touring the world than living in a house with a white picket fence.

Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?

The marker is above where ever I currently am. I won't.

Can you foresee any possible reasons why you might not accomplish your goals/dreams?
How will you deal with it if you fail or your dreams are crushed?

Yes, of course. I will make new goals or die trying...whichever comes first. Either one, really, is fine.

 

[cascadeco]

If so, what are they? Do you believe they will keep you healthy and happy?

I don't really have any goals or dreams. I just want to be me, and latch onto opportunities when they come my way, and also continue to learn more about myself and others, and grow. So that's probably my general goal - just to continue learning, and make the most of my life. [plus I don't think I'm fully in charge of it anyway - there are too many other influences - loved ones, friends, other random people, things totally out of my control, etc]

Part of my lack of goals is that I don't necessarily believe what I currently want out of life is what I'm going to want or find important in 15 years. This isn't to say I don't do anything in the here and now..because I DO follow what I want in the here and now, so I do some short-term goals and I'm always thinking about my life in general and what I want it to be like. I can't NOT think about my life and whether it's acceptable to me and whether I need to make changes - that's just what I do - I'm always pondering my life and trying to figure out what my next step will be. [Because I always need a 'next step' - not knowing my next step is very unsettling for me...it's my 'in limbo' feeling that I get every yr or two.] And I do make changes if they are needed.

But long term goals...I don't think that would be that healthy for me. For example, I don't want to make a 'goal' of being married within 10 years...because frankly I don't think that CAN be a goal. If meeting someone and falling in love is something that's dealt to me, great. I certainly won't complain!! And it's not like I'm totally apathetic and don't do anything to try to bring these sorts of things about....but rather, I really don't want to bank my whole existance and happiness on something that very well might not happen. Because I know it's quite possible it might not - and I have to be O.K. with that. And that goes for other things too. I'm also starting to notice with myself that I do and have gone through little 'stages' - so I already know that who I am right this minute probably isn't going to be who I am in 20 years...in terms of interests/motivations and what I want to pursue in life, etc. I've already seen this in the shortterm - that 5 yrs ago I had some different perspectives on things than I do today - so I have every reason to believe this might continue to shift over time.

Where will you be in 5 years? In 10 years? What will be your occupation? If you aren't already, will you be married with kids? Will you be living in a house with a white picket fence or touring the world?
Where do you set the marker for the success, and how will know when you have achieved it?

Well, I sure hope I don't have a white picket fence. As for 'success', I've never been out to prove things to other people, or 'establish' myself in society or in my job. So 'success' for me would be on a personal level - am *I* happy with my life and who I am? Am I living my life in a way that I find meaningful? Am I making the most out of my life? Am I happy and at peace? That would be success in my book.

Oh, and as for specific things I want to do before I die - that's in the Wish List in the Bonfire thread. There's LOTS I really want to see and do, so don't get me wrong (I think life is too short!! eek!!)..but I wouldn't call them 'goals' per se. My sense of self isn't fully dependent on fulfulling ALL of them. Just many of them!