[NT] Deciding how to live

[miss fortune]

don't think about rules- just try to live fairly

that's my general approach anyways.

 

[animenagai]

I was talking with my friend about this post, asking her opinion on it... etc. It was during that conversation that I realized the common denominator between all 4 of my "rules". The "rule" that decides how I live is living according to my God-given destiny and purpose. It encompasses all 4 of my rules and then some, and it's the one common thread that binds them all together.

i think i can relate. my one governing rule is simply 'to make the most out of my life'. whatever that i value is only valuable because of it.

i'm not sure the OPer will be happy with my answer though as it's not specific enough. personally my childhood goals were to

1. be smart
2. be original
3. be a warm person with lots of friends
4. be driven by morals (though i only picked this one up when i was in highschool)

it's REALLY hard to choose between the 4. it pains me to even have to make a choice. if i absolutely had to choose one it would be creativity, but make no mistake, i strongly value all of these things.

 

[energy]

One central rule that dictates my entire existence? Initially I was going to post a sarcastic response, but then I got to thinking about it. What is my central motivation in this life?

1. I want to enjoy my existence.

2. I want to be proficient in many different areas.

3. I want to be successful.

4. I want my family to be happy, healthy, and clothed, with a stability they can depend on.

If I had to choose from all of the above, I'd choose the 4th. But the 4th could also be looked at as the same as the 3rd... since that is my definition of success. And the 3rd and 4th are an essential part of the 1st. How can I enjoy my existence without 3 and 4? 2 is automatically fulfilled in everything I do. That's just how I operate. If I do something, I learn all I can about it, make lots of mistakes and learn from them, and then eventually reach a level of proficiency that satisfies me.

I like this girl already.

When i was young, i wanted to unite the world under one flag or become aq warlord, now i don't know what i want to do.

 

[Insidious 3]

I'd have to say it's the fear of not being someone during my life.

 

[Colors]

I actually remember the first real "rule" I swore myself was "to be honest". When I was 10. I was convinced that if people said what they meant and meant what they said and did what they meant, that the world would be a better place.

Before that I'd had other ambitions too- vaguely one about always keeping promises and holding others to their promises. And to try and find the un-moody balance finally between hating and loving a sibling/cousins. But the honesty one really was the first one I really put into fully-realized word-glory.

Life's too hard to live with rules. Sometimes I wonder if they make any difference at all. If you evaluated each new instance of choice separately without your "rules" and signposts of integrity and morality... if they're truly good choices you'd make the same ones anyway. And perhaps even better ones. Even if those choices might not be easily summarized into a "soundbite"-size philosophy.

 

[Haphazard]

All I want in life is to be able to wake up in the morning without dreading the day ahead.

It sounds very simple, but it's much easier said than done...

 

[Totenkindly]

I think personality is essentially a decision we make on how to deal with life. As such, I think our personality emerges gradually from basic rules we choose as children, which have larger implications and mold who we are.

But why do we choose the basic rules we each do?

The rules we favor seem to be based on either (1) inherent preferences or (2) reflections from our home environment growing up since it the familiarity gives us comfort even if the rules were not good ones.

I don't have just one central rule, I have a number of them: One of them, though, is to "treat others AND myself with respect, as a human being of equal value and potential, regardless of how people might be fulfilling or abandoning their potential."

Another is "Reality at all costs."

 

[ed111]

All I want in life is to be able to wake up in the morning without dreading the day ahead.

It sounds very simple, but it's much easier said than done...

The same for me: just to try to stay positive and relaxed during the day.

 

[Mole]

Quiet Desperation

All I want in life is to be able to wake up in the morning without dreading the day ahead.

It sounds very simple, but it's much easier said than done...

I would say to myself, "What would I do if I had a million dollars?".

And quite often I would answer, "I would go and live on an island in the Great Barrier Reef".

But today when I ask the question, I answer, I wouldn't do anything.

I guess I am happy where I am and I no longer dread the day ahead.

But when I dreaded the day, I just took it for granted. And I remember the person next to me telling my how - how he hated his job.

And I look around my University today and I can see a lot of people hate their job and take it for granted. It's like they wear a false and friendly face, but inside, they hate it.

It's like each one is a divided self - an external mask hardened into routine - and their internal feelings, hardened into an impotent hatred.

And the feelings behind the mask eventually harden into ressentiment - ripe for exploitation by any guru.

The quietly desperate, looking for a way out, stampede when the guru says, "This is the way, the truth and the light".

And they stamp on anything good in their desperation to get out.

 

[Mole]

Or else!

On the other hand I have always been an idealist.

And so quite naturally I asked myself what my ideals were.

And they came down to two - empathy and creativity.

But since joining you on the internet, I now have three - empathy, creativity and presence.

Though my father warned me that idealists are the most dangerous people in the world.

And I am, 'cause I insist you share my ideals, or else!

 

[Synarch]

Idealists are dangerous because they see the world as it should be rather than as it is.

 

[disregard]

The two are not mutually exclusive.

 

[zago]

I think personality is essentially a decision we make on how to deal with life. As such, I think our personality emerges gradually from basic rules we choose as children, which have larger implications and mold who we are.

For example, I think some people at some point decide "being nice is important to me". I think other people decide that "being smart is important to me". Our personalities and predispositions may follow from such essential choices.

My question for you is: what is the central rule that dictates how you live?

I think I agree with you. People use whatever works best in the circumstances they are given as children, and they tend to stick with it.

Still, I think some of it's gotta be nature.

My central rule would have been "predicting future circumstances is important to me." I think that's really the best way to put it. That's how I have gotten by, just sensing what will happen in my future so it doesn't come as a surprise. I've always had a keen sense that much of the future is in control based on how you handle it beforehand.

This explains why I was always able to do well on tests. I knew teachers dead-on, every time. I was never taken by surprise, always studied just what I needed to. This would also explain why I dread many social interactions, because there is really nothing you can do to prepare for them. Unable to guarantee success when interacting with people, I focused my efforts on self-improvement as a way to control what other people might see in me.

EDIT: I might also add "precise use of language" as another central rule.

 

[zago]

On the other hand I have always been an idealist.

And so quite naturally I asked myself what my ideals were.

And they came down to two - empathy and creativity.

But since joining you on the internet, I now have three - empathy, creativity and presence.

Though my father warned me that idealists are the most dangerous people in the world.

And I am, 'cause I insist you share my ideals, or else!

Well, if you want to get right down to the root of it, idealism itself is the belief that abstract ideas are a part of reality as much as concrete things. That's what 1984 is about; people lived their lives in the context of INGSOC rather than in the context of nature itself.

So, I mean yeah, there is the idealism where "things could be better than they are now" and there is the idealism where "government created laws say what you can and can't do." They actually are related, though, because people who say "things could be better than they are now" almost always have some sort of vision for how they think the world should be, and they will assert that vision on other people as well. Rarely is idealism manifested in simple, individual acts of kindness with no expectation of followers.

 

[ngannacvy]

I think personality is essentially a decision we make on how to deal with life. As such, I think our personality emerges gradually from basic rules we choose as children, which have larger implications and mold who we are.

For example, I think some people at some point decide "being nice is important to me". I think other people decide that "being smart is important to me". Our personalities and predispositions may follow from such essential choices.

My question for you is: what is the central rule that dictates how you live?

MY central rule or the first one that I recognized (since there's so many) is "Don't be a Burden" that rule has made me very independent(being able to think and do for myself and it makes me consider other people's perspective as well.)

I made up that rule so that not only can I be able to help myself, but so that I can also help others, and influence or impact their life in a positive way.

I also made up that rule because as a child I was very ill and I felt like a burden because I was always dependent on others to help and take care of me and my needs. I felt helpless, and useless and I felt like the princess at the top of the tower, I was left alone and couldn't do much about it especially because of my health, but over the years I have grown Healthier and stronger and now I'm the most independent one in the family. And I being reflective and all since that's an INFP trait, love seeing myself grow, improve and evolve(or change) in to a better version of my former self.

I made up that rule because I hate that helpless feeling when you can do nothing at all to help,Especially if someone's in trouble, or needs your help. so I decided to be Independent, and strong. and because I love helping people it just brings joy to my heart to see someone smile or happy.(and even more if it's because of me.)

wait...while writing this I guess I figured out the core of my central belief that guides my life. And it is making people happy because it makes me happy. so basically to be happy. (and not all people will make me happy so forget about making them happy) My central Thing is to live a happy life! and so far I accomplished that.

 

[Eileen]

My rule: Forgive and forgive again.

 

[Darjur]

Just one?

Advancement.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

If I could pick one Rule how to live my Life? Easy!! 2 Words:
Be happy! =D

Cuz that sums up a lot of Things. ^^

 

[Knitecrow]

I think personality is essentially a decision we make on how to deal with life. As such, I think our personality emerges gradually from basic rules we choose as children, which have larger implications and mold who we are.

I disagree with your basic premise. You can bring in the whole nature vs. nurture argument, but IMO a large part of personality is hard coded with life experience modulating existing biases. You don't choose your gene, where you are born or your formative early childhood experience, and so forth.

What I know with 100% certainty: I born and I will die.
What I strive for: Not to eat, breed and die like any other animal. I want my existence to mean something.

 

[runvardh]

1) understand that everyone has some form of greed that must be fed.

2) be glad when that greed isn't something that will directly or indirectly cause you problems.

3) be extra glad when that greed benefits you.

4) be fucking ecstatic when that greed aligns with yours.

5) protect your ass from the greed that does everything but the above three statements.

6) try to love when you can anyway.

Edit: check my type then analyze that, Synarch.