Dear perceivers, how are you dealing with decision making?

[Kas]

Dear perceivers, how are you dealing with decision making? How persistent are you later? Any thoughts?



I’ve had recently conversation with my ENFP friend. I was boring her with my very Mr Nobody explanation that the best moment is before the decision because then every single option is still possible, if you pick one (even if it is the best one) the number of possibilities disappear etc. She agreed about having options open but she is dealing with it in completely different manner. I’m analyzing everything and prolonging making decision, but when I make one, I tend to stick at it . She has different pattern; she picks quickly with no difficulty, but she quits very quickly too, she laughed that this way she can try everything and keep options open.
Two sides of the same coin. Of course it’s just general pattern of behaviour but there was some truth in this...

 

[chubber]

That sure sounds like an Ne-dom. Sheesh. Ni, doesn't work quite that way.

 

[Kas]

That sure sounds like an Ne-dom. Sheesh. Ni, doesn't work quite that way.

I know My sister is ENTJ. She is very what is wrong with you, I don't even understand the problem when I tell her things like that.


So do you think it's NPs (as Ne users) way of thinking and SPs could have different approach?

 

[chubber]

I know My sister is ENTJ. She is very what is wrong with you, I don't even understand the problem when I tell her things like that.


So do you think it's NPs (as Ne users) way of thinking and SPs could have different approach?

yes, I most definitely think ESxPs have a different approach.

 

[Destiny]

Dear perceivers, how are you dealing with decision making? How persistent are you later? Any thoughts?



I’ve had recently conversation with my ENFP friend. I was boring her with my very Mr Nobody explanation that the best moment is before the decision because then every single option is still possible, if you pick one (even if it is the best one) the number of possibilities disappear etc. She agreed about having options open but she is dealing with it in completely different manner. I’m analyzing everything and prolonging making decision, but when I make one, I tend to stick at it . She has different pattern; she picks quickly with no difficulty, but she quits very quickly too, she laughed that this way she can try everything and keep options open.
Two sides of the same coin. Of course it’s just general pattern of behaviour but there was some truth in this...

I usually let fate help me make important decisions, hence my username is called Destiny

Like I am currently planning to take up some courses, I have 3 different career fields that I am interested in, and I'm not sure how to choose among these 3, so I am planning to study all 3 together. Oh well, and if I were to run out of money halfway through my studies, then maybe it's fate telling me that the career choice wasn't meant for me?

And when I make a decision, whether or not I stick with that decision depends on how I feel about that decision. Does that decision feel right? Or does the decision feel wrong? If the decision feels wrong, then I'll go with my gut feeling and quit.

 

[Kas]

I usually let fate help me make important decisions, hence my username is called Destiny

I don't like depending on the destiny... meaning fate and not you

Like I am currently planning to take up some courses, I have 3 different career fields that I am interested in, and I'm not sure how to choose among these 3, so I am planning to study all 3 together. Oh well, and if I were to run out of money halfway through my studies, then maybe it's fate telling me that the career choice wasn't meant for me?

And when I make a decision, whether or not I stick with that decision depends on how I feel about that decision. Does that decision feel right? Or does the decision feel wrong? If the decision feels wrong, then I'll go with my gut feeling and quit

That's an interesting option maybe during studies you'll find out which one is right for you.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

It depends on my mental health.



When I was healthy, I approached them with an open mind. In the last couple of years I try to find ways to escape major decisions by simply avoiding them

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Depends if thed decision only affects me or also others. If its me, i just wing it witha lassie faire attitude. Im more then capable to learn from my mistake, cest la vi. And move on to another option.

If my choice affects mmore or equal to others as well as myself, if I deem the people being affected as important. I take a step back and take in all points of view, and choose the option where all or most affiliated parties will be satisfied.

Whether they actually DO or not is none of my concern. I tried my best. Are you dead yet? No? Then you can live with my choices.

 

[HongDou]

When I was studying abroad in New Zealand, my best friend there was also an ENFP (although she consistently tested as INFP - I even answered the test for her once and got INFP, but I'm 100% certain she's a 7w6 odds are she's almost definitely an ENFP). I think we differ from your friend because we literally could never decide on anything. We'd go out exploring and be like "hm...should we go here? Nah, let's keep walking!" We live by the mantra that if we choose to do something, whatever that thing is has to be "calling out to us". We'd have to be feeling it so hard that both the possibilities of an even better thing or the possibility of a negative/uninspired experience would be completely erased from our mind. It was actually almost scary how similarly we operated. Hanging out with each other was honestly like Dumb & Dumber because we were SO indecisive. But we'll also do the thing your friend does where we choose something but then change our minds halfway or when we see something different. It's just that our decisions take a long time to make AND they're always changing. It's like a carousel or something.

In groups, it's much easier for us because we'd rather go with the flow and let things happen out of our control so then we aren't burdened with the decision of choosing what type of experience to have. In the beginning we were close with this ENTJ 3w4 dude (I love him...he's probably a wannabe ISTP it's cute) and we often said we needed him whenever we'd go out. "Where is Marc when you need him?! We need to DECIDE!" We're generally happy to do whatever so we just need someone to pick because we're bad at deciphering what sounds best since to us everything sounds good.

Side note: one time we talked 2 miles in the opposite direction of our dorm because we got distracted pretending to be British people and didn't realize we went the wrong way.

 

[Qlip]

Well, I have a couple ways. One is very similar to how your friend works, quick and sometime arbitrary decision making, the other is 'vibing' things out, sometimes until the choices aren't available anymore. With my quicker and arbitrary decisions, I tend to stick them out deep into it and not abandon them, I'm pretty sure it's the same reason I like deep places and origins of things, I'm a 4w5. I think it might be relevant to note that I don't always see decisions the same way as others, many things that might seem as no-go's are opportunities to me. If there is a situation I can engage in that will teach me something new about life, if my responsibilities to others will allow it, I will always go down that path, even if it common sense goes against it.

As to the idea that making a decision precludes other decisions from being acted on in the future, yes and no. We work faster than some, we see cycles of possibilities, and we live in the world of ideas. Even if we don't get another shot at that decision that we left behind, there's usually a good chance we can give it a try, if not the same one in concrete, then the same one in abstract.

 

[Mane]

I can go either way: When I was younger I procrastinated college long enough to have being able to finish college 3 times with different majors during that period, ending up trying my hands at a startup, traveling, learning new skills, studying things on my own for fun that I have little to no use for beyond inspiration and mental masturbation, getting married and divorced in the mean time, and only then going to college, for something that there's no way I will do the rest of my life - simply because it's software engineering - the chance that much of what I have learned in college will be relevant in a decade is pretty damn close to a 0%.

My point is, it took a long time for it to sink in but in general I find that it works a lot better to take your chances with a choice knowing you might later choose another one - The fact you will already be doing something and having an active life doesn't mean you won't be able to make another choice - it's not going to take the time from your decision making - realistically how much of your time do you truly dedicate to focus on nothing but the question at hand anyway? - you would be more likely to think better when you are exposed to new experiences to stimulate your angles and directions with which to think about your choice - and having actually made the choice can lead to new options.

So essentially, despite being an Ne dom, my instinct is the same as yours, but life taught me to be more like your friend.

 

[Mane]

The mystery of the way Ni doms do it btw, from what I gather, is to not truly experience the choice once it's done. As far as they are concerned, they made the right choice - the best choice they could have made under the circumstances - and so once the choice is made there was no real other option at all.

 

[ceecee]

It depends on my mental health.



When I was healthy, I approached them with an open mind. In the last couple of years I try to find ways to escape major decisions by simply avoiding them

Do you get upset when another person makes the decision and you don't like it?

 

[Kas]

When I was studying abroad in New Zealand, my best friend there was also an ENFP (although she consistently tested as INFP - I even answered the test for her once and got INFP, but I'm 100% certain she's a 7w6 odds are she's almost definitely an ENFP). I think we differ from your friend because we literally could never decide on anything. We'd go out exploring and be like "hm...should we go here? Nah, let's keep walking!" We live by the mantra that if we choose to do something, whatever that thing is has to be "calling out to us". We'd have to be feeling it so hard that both the possibilities of an even better thing or the possibility of a negative/uninspired experience would be completely erased from our mind. It was actually almost scary how similarly we operated. Hanging out with each other was honestly like Dumb & Dumber because we were SO indecisive. But we'll also do the thing your friend does where we choose something but then change our minds halfway or when we see something different. It's just that our decisions take a long time to make AND they're always changing. It's like a carousel or something.

In groups, it's much easier for us because we'd rather go with the flow and let things happen out of our control so then we aren't burdened with the decision of choosing what type of experience to have. In the beginning we were close with this ENTJ 3w4 dude (I love him...he's probably a wannabe ISTP it's cute) and we often said we needed him whenever we'd go out. "Where is Marc when you need him?! We need to DECIDE!" We're generally happy to do whatever so we just need someone to pick because we're bad at deciphering what sounds best since to us everything sounds good.

Side note: one time we talked 2 miles in the opposite direction of our dorm because we got distracted pretending to be British people and didn't realize we went the wrong way.

Your post made me laugh out loud Having friends who are very similar is terrific as they understand you deeply. But unfortunately the faults are often similar too.


You actually reminded me something. I was once on the trip with ENFJ and ISFP and we had major problem with making any simple decision like what to make for dinner or whether we want to go to the lake or do something else(well ENFJ had problem mainly because she didn’t want to make all the decisions) and we were all like oh whatever. So we established special hierarchy due to which first person to decide was ENFJ (clearly) then ISFP and the last person to decide, if there was still any doubt, was me. Vacation are serious matter

 

[Kas]

If there is a situation I can engage in that will teach me something new about life, if my responsibilities to others will allow it, I will always go down that path, even if it common sense goes against it.

The curiosity. I completely get it.

 

[Duffy]

I'm not decisive by nature. However, so are a lot of people I hang around with. I'll end up being the decision maker somehow, which I don't mind because I see it as helpful towards growth. It's just when you go back and forth between where to eat with someone and you pick out a place, and then they say "nah." Rinse repeat, ad neasuem. Wtf....

-ISFP, probably

 

[Hawthorne]

My indecisiveness is dependent on the type of decision. Deciding on a goal is relatively easy. The path I take to it can vary and I don't mind testing several different routes of getting there. I like having flexibility when it comes to execution but I've always needed a clearly defined outcome to work towards else I have a tendency to become "paralyzed".

 

[Hitoshi-San]

Yeah, it takes me a while to make a decision but once I've made the decision I'm going to stick to it unless something comes up that I can make better for myself.

In the meantime, I'll probably forget about it for as long as possible, but actually come to a conclusion relatively fast after I see whether the cons will outweigh the pros or vice versa, if it's that kind of situation.

 

[miss fortune]

if it's something that actually MATTERS to me I'll make a decision

if it's something that I couldn't care less about I'll usually leave it to someone who does care about it, because otherwise I'll have to deal with someone throwing a fit or being all pissy and it's just not worth it

I prefer to make decisions that can be changed whenever... they're more comfortable that way

 

[Poki]

I easily make decisions alone. If I am with someone else I prefer a joint decision. I had a friend who never had a clue until I suggested something. So I would just say anything so she would say what she wants. I can easily go along with just about anything.