Communication Difficulties Between Sensors and Intuitives

[Poki]

I like this a lot, as I feel that tends to be the case more often than not, in the dialogues I've had with people. Speaking about the example I posted in the thread's first post, I believe Sensors and Intuitives often both see "7", but will come into disagreement at times because the Sensor may have gotten to the 7 by 4+3, whereas the Intuitive may have gotten there by 5+2. There is ultimately, no difference in opinion, but because the sensor is looking for the 4 and 3 in the intuitive, and the intuitive is looking for 5 and 2 in the sensor, each can be led to believe that the other is not seeing what they see.

Personal opinion plays into it alot. For example my dad may think i have an issue i dont have because to him its an issue. He then tries to solve his problem thinking its mine. Example.

Me: dad do you have a copy of the plans from your house expansion for grammas room. I am wanting to see what profesional plans look like and inspection process they do.

Dad: city doesnt really care if you submit professional plans as a homeowner

Me: i know, just curious what type of information is included.

Dad: i just get a piece of graph paper and sketch out before and after to scale

Me:

My permit was approved based on that, but i want to see what professionals do that i can encompass in my remodel plans to submit and also see what steps professionals do things with inspections, etc. To better myself, not because i have a problem. I think this is more J vs P goal vs understanding based though.

 

[Dreamer]

Yeah. That's typical N communication style. The only thing I will say that helps ease frustration for myself is if you state the end first then go back, if it's possible. It will keep their attention longer.

I know because with my ENFP, I'll interrupt with a "What's your point here?" It's not to be rude, it's because I can't follow. Literally! I don't know where he's going. For me to pay attention, I have to know what we are talking about exactly.

Then once I have a baseline, he can go back and fill in the nuance and I've got no problem listening.

Thank you for this, this is great advise! In times I'm basically just brainstorming out loud and throwing random thoughts out, I don't even know where I'm going, so that's not possible there, but everything else, ya, this is definitely something I can do. I would never think that someone may just not be able to follow without first knowing the point. Great insight to know

 

[Poki]

Thank you for this, this is great advise! In times I'm basically just brainstorming out loud and throwing random thoughts out, I don't even know where I'm going, so that's not possible there, but everything else, ya, this is definitely something I can do. I would never think that someone may just not be able to follow without first knowing the point. Great insight to know

The point then is just brain storming or wandering paths. Goal is expansion of ideas.

I am pretty similiar, even though i am not "goal"based it gives direction. I am direction based. Direction is pretty much always up to change unless and external factor is involved and it needs to stay constant.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Thank you for this, this is great advise! In times I'm basically just brainstorming out loud and throwing random thoughts out, I don't even know where I'm going, so that's not possible there, but everything else, ya, this is definitely something I can do. I would never think that someone may just not be able to follow without first knowing the point. Great insight to know

It may be a T preference, tbh.

Personally, I tend toward solution based listening. Which isn't always great but that's how I'm wired. Asking him "Whats the point?" Also lets me know if it's just a venting of his where he doesn't need solution or if there's something else I can offer.

 

[Lord Lavender]

There are many reasons why S and N people may have trouble communicating with one another. I like to communcate through very Nish speech as this is how I process information not because im trying to confuse S types . When I talk to S types (especially N inferiors) I try to meet halfway with them like so instead of like screaming across the lava chasm and ending up falling into the lava pit we instead like say invent other ways of communication like we have to make a hammok and cross it so we like can get each other not scream each other down.

 

[Dreamer]

It may be a T preference, tbh.

Personally, I tend toward solution based listening. Which isn't always great but that's how I'm wired. Asking him "Whats the point?" Also lets me know if it's just a venting of his where he doesn't need solution or if there's something else I can offer.

Oh my goodness! I feel I need to pick your brain for everything I can now, this is all so interesting

Typically I just sort of pick up on whether someone is just venting or needs actual feedback. But it's much harder to do online of course. I'd say it's how they carry themselves, how they approached me, that clues me in? I'm not even sure. But, thinking of my ISTJ sis in law, I could see her asking what the point of something is, partly for the very reason you bring up. I could ask to clarify, but I suspect it then tells her how to proceed on the given situation. For me, I sort of just roll with it and read the person as I go. It's not always accurate, but it works for me I suppose. I guess the main difference I'm trying to say, is that I don't typically have this verification process in place before acting on something. Or, at least of which I am aware.

I'm sorry, but my interacting with you has made it SUPER apparent I DO wander about in my words, and it's making me super self conscious now. I'm just sitting here thinking to myself, get to the point, get to the point!

 

[Dreamer]

There are many reasons why S and N people may have trouble communicating with one another. I like to communcate through very Nish speech as this is how I process information not because im trying to confuse S types . When I talk to S types (especially N inferiors) I try to meet halfway with them like so instead of like screaming across the lava chasm and ending up falling into the lava pit we instead like say invent other ways of communication like we have to make a hammok and cross it so we like can get each other not scream each other down.

Thanks for the input Brain. Ya, I definitely don't mean to confuse, annoy, or bore Sensors, but like you, I speak the way I best understand the world. Well, everyone does really, naturally. Perhaps Sensors and Intuitives on this forum could find something within this thread to help bridge the gap in communication styles. That wasn't my initial intent of the thread but hey, sounds like a good idea doesn't it?

BTW, what particular ways do you meet Sensors in the middle? I wouldn't say I particularly have trouble in communicating with others, I feel I sort of have a natural ease with it to be honest, BUT! I do notice I can also bore with my superfluous banter and random thoughts. Of course, to you and me Brain, they aren't random AT ALL. They just seem that way because our minds have made four instantaneous connections before our mouths could verbalize them.

 

[Lord Lavender]

Thanks for the input Brain. Ya, I definitely don't mean to confuse, annoy, or bore Sensors, but like you, I speak the way I best understand the world. Well, everyone does really, naturally. Perhaps Sensors and Intuitives on this forum could find something within this thread to help bridge the gap in communication styles. That wasn't my initial intent of the thread but hey, sounds like a good idea doesn't it?

BTW, what particular ways do you meet Sensors in the middle? I wouldn't say I particularly have trouble in communicating with others, I feel I sort of have a natural ease with it to be honest, BUT! I do notice I can also bore with my superfluous banter and random thoughts. Of course, to you and me Brain, they aren't random AT ALL. They just seem that way because our minds have made four instantaneous connections before our mouths could verbalize them.

Hmmm it differs for SP and SJ as they do differ. SJs I can typically communicate with easier than SPs due to shared Ne (Its weaker but still there and talking to a SJ with Ne is like talking to someone in the same language but different empathsis with the Si and Ne. Hmmm to talk to SJs I typically try to ground Ne with the little Si I have so like throw a net at the Ne i have racing around and they can get it. SPs are tricker since they have Ni not Ne so I have to hmmm try to Se my Ne a little so to speak like hmm turn the Ne landscape into a Se one so to speak.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Oh my goodness! I feel I need to pick your brain for everything I can now, this is all so interesting

Typically I just sort of pick up on whether someone is just venting or needs actual feedback. But it's much harder to do online of course. I'd say it's how they carry themselves, how they approached me, that clues me in? I'm not even sure. But, thinking of my ISTJ sis in law, I could see her asking what the point of something is, partly for the very reason you bring up. I could ask to clarify, but I suspect it then tells her how to proceed on the given situation. For me, I sort of just roll with it and read the person as I go. It's not always accurate, but it works for me I suppose. I guess the main difference I'm trying to say, is that I don't typically have this verification process in place before acting on something. Or, at least of which I am aware.

I'm sorry, but my interacting with you has made it SUPER apparent I DO wander about in my words, and it's making me super self conscious now. I'm just sitting here thinking to myself, get to the point, get to the point!

Hmm...for me, ENFP's don't always make it clear what they need or are asking for. Sometimes they need both solution and support. Sometimes neither or just one of those. I think I clarify when that is all over the map. When I am getting thrown around to many areas aka = Ne tangents and they don't land on one long enough to make sense (to me). Sort of halfway thoughts given where they don't flesh it out before jumping to the next thing. No need to be self conscious. It's not that big of a deal, at least not for me.

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

I don't run into many communication difficulties with intuitives (though I'm unsure of the types of everyone I know since I suck at typing) but if I do run into a situation where I don't understand where someone is coming from (whether INFP or ESTP) I'll just start asking questions until I figure it out.

I know an INFP who loves conspiracy theories. I think they're annoying, but I'm happy to listen to him because I care about him and thus I care about the things he cares about. Though when I ask him questions about the evidence for a conspiracy theory, his answers are usually vague, so I just start asking more and more specific questions until he starts giving me specific answers. For an example:
Me: "why do you believe that?"
INFP: "I just do. It seems pretty obvious, to me."
Me: "Oh okay. So did you figure it out yourself by just picking up a pattern or something, or did you read about it somewhere?"

My INFP mom likes to explain the same thing to me in several different ways, which can be frustrating if I'm in a hurry. I try to listen through the whole thing because I don't want to hurt her feelings, but if I can't, I'll just raise my hand until she comes to a pause and then be like "thanks for explaining this to me, but I have to go to work now." It works pretty well.

That being said, me and both INFPs have a deep understanding of each other, and I trust my mom more than I trust anyone else.

I seem to be mitigating these problems a LOT better in recent years. Like many people, when I first joined a typology community, it opened my eyes to N/S differences that has caused me problems, and I felt resentment. But having gained that awareness, I seem to deal better with it so that it's not something I consider such an obstacle anymore.

With Se types, I just avoid getting too hypothetical (most problematic with actual Se-dominants). To make a point, it's better for me to reference something real as an illustration. I also try not to cut S types off when they get very linear and detailed, but this still internally irks me. Sometimes I do interject to get the main points & bottom line. I used to almost feel rage when SFs would get into detailed people talk (essentially gossip, but not necessarily harmful or false), but I am more patient with it.

My whole life I have been aware that almost no one wants to hear my philosophical musings and discussion of hypothetical future developments, so the biggest complaint towards me is that I simply don't talk much (whereas online, my long-windedness is probably annoying). I am not as shy as I once was, so I mostly participate socially with quipping here & there. I am sure my communication style irritates sensing types at times, but I more often hear complaints related to being an introvert from people, and sometimes Fi via inferior Te (ie irritable or too raw). IRL, I mostly annoy people with "lack of Fe" because I am a woman and that's what's expected.

My biggest problems with sensing types now is usually with SJ types (and usually enneagram 1s or 6s) and it's more about lifestyle. The way I live bothers them. This is not morality...it's about order and intention. I appear chaotic and inconsistent, and perhaps irresponsible. I get bad motive ascribed to me, which I don't appreciate.

I hate gossip too. I think it's destructive.

 

[Trash Panda]

it depends on the type. i think i probably have a harder time with INTx types. I've had close ENxx friends.

I can be very introverted so.... My best adult friendship I've had was with an ENxJ.

 

[Dreamer]

First, I find personally at least as much trouble bridging the T/F gap as S/N. I cannot say, though, that Fe/Te(inf Fi) plays no part in that. At the same time, the types I seem to have most difficulty communicating with are both S and F. I can understand NF and ST much better than SF of any type.

I have seen what you describe above - people not realizing that they do in fact agree - but never looked at it in terms of N/S difference. That might have been a significant factor. As I mentioned, I don't usually have much trouble communicating with STs, but I suspect Te aux helps there. It is easy for me to pull out "just the facts" if they seem to want it, and to see the big picture if they provide me enough of their details and observations.

What I do notice is that I can get very impatient with what I feel is a needlessly linear presentation, dotting every i and crossing every t. Sometimes this line is far from straight - more like a squiggle going back and forth around the page. That is even worse. we still can't skip any steps, but it loses even the directionality (hope for reaching the end) of a truly linear approach. One of my best friends is certainly an S, though I can't decide between T and F. (If he is indeed an F, he would be a significant exception to everything else I say here about SFs.) We enjoy discussing some of the same topics, e.g. history, science fiction, and our work, but he likes to meander leisurely around a topic, peering into every nook and cranny, leaving no conversational stone unturned. I want to scan the room, dig into the corners that look truly interesting, then take things to their (to me) logical follow on point. That can make me a bit impatient, too, but he is such a good friend, I cannot hold it against him.

For the most past, SFs seem to be speaking a completely different language. I often have difficulty communicating with them even over the most basic matters, e.g. who will set up coffee for an event. Makes me wonder sometimes (uncharitably, I admit) how they even navigate life.

Oh, good grief - that is the LAST thing I want to read or watch. Movies like "It's a wonderful life" just make me want to tear my hair out.

My impatience comes in part from what you described above as well, when some people feel the need to dot the Is and cross the Ts, but I feel what I run into more often, for which I have very little patience for, is when someone gets hung up on a word or phrase I may have mentioned, and suddenly everything that follows or has preceded it, is irrelevant because this one word or phrase has caught their attention and they focus in on it so much, the meaning of what I'm saying is completely lost. I can't stress it enough, but context is absolutely key for me in how I understand, see, and express things. If someone pulls a word or two out from what I've been saying, and remove it from its context, and worse, adds their own interpretation to those words, it frustrates me to no end. Because of this very, broad nature of viewing things, I am horrible in picking out particular words or phrases in people's speech since I tend to see the "whole" and only gain my insights once they've said enough for me to be able to put things together. Usually this happens while the person is talking. And while it may serve me to hold all thoughts until they have finished, I just don't work that way. I'll get to a point of "just enough" then start forming my own thoughts on that idea they just presented, and then interject and guide the conversation this way and that. I can absolutely see how some people would be so put off by this way of communication, so over the years, I've done my part to learn how to listen more rather than to see conversations as all about my own personal brainstorming session. If I'm selfish and honest, that's what I wish every conversation were like.

I'm...(just thinking out loud here) starting to think if there is a difference, or, more interestingly, a preference people have in whether someone talks to them through Te, or lives Te and expresses the essence of Te, using Te from your example as a particular ease for you to communicate with others. Do you know what I mean? ok, so, I'm visualizing this difference here, I feel there are those that feel a particular function, then express it through some other function, but because what they feel is that more dominant one, it comes out as this other function BUT still breathes the essence of that dominating function. Or, is the function being used to communicate more easily comprehensible. Using myself, I feel I am able to give my Fi structure and a sort of "logic" with my Te. However, I don't use Te as a dominant or aux function so what comes out is not Te's essence but a Te version of Fi.

How do you personally feel you communicate with me, versus say, an ETJ or ITJ? Do you find communication with the Te through another function more recognizable or a differing function expressed through Te?

 

[Dreamer]

Metaphors. I really, really hate trying to interpret and keep up with metaphors. Say what you mean!

You liked mine above ya? Simple!

It was the simplest way to explain that idea for me.

 

[Dreamer]

Personal opinion plays into it alot. For example my dad may think i have an issue i dont have because to him its an issue. He then tries to solve his problem thinking its mine. Example.

Me: dad do you have a copy of the plans from your house expansion for grammas room. I am wanting to see what profesional plans look like and inspection process they do.

Dad: city doesnt really care if you submit professional plans as a homeowner

Me: i know, just curious what type of information is included.

Dad: i just get a piece of graph paper and sketch out before and after to scale

Me:

My permit was approved based on that, but i want to see what professionals do that i can encompass in my remodel plans to submit and also see what steps professionals do things with inspections, etc. To better myself, not because i have a problem. I think this is more J vs P goal vs understanding based though.

oh wait...oh boy

As I was reading through the dialogue above, I was on the side of your father. I probably would've said the same to you. It wasn't until you concluded your post where it made sense to me. If someone were to ask for a copy of the plans, even after specifying that they'd like to see what professional plans look like and the inspection process they do, I would not think for one moment, perhaps this person wants to see what professional plans look like, but would think, ok, why are they REALLY asking me this question? ...shoot...just lost my train of thought as another train pulled into the station just now...

Basically, I would've said exactly what your dad said. I'll get back to you if I get that initial thought back. I was able to tell you exactly why I would've thought along your dad's lines but I lost it now, ugh! I think I have 1 too many squirrels in my room.

 

[Larix]

My impatience comes in part from what you described above as well, when some people feel the need to dot the Is and cross the Ts, but I feel what I run into more often, for which I have very little patience for, is when someone gets hung up on a word or phrase I may have mentioned, and suddenly everything that follows or has preceded it, is irrelevant because this one word or phrase has caught their attention and they focus in on it so much, the meaning of what I'm saying is completely lost. I can't stress it enough, but context is absolutely key for me in how I understand, see, and express things. If someone pulls a word or two out from what I've been saying, and remove it from its context, and worse, adds their own interpretation to those words, it frustrates me to no end. Because of this very, broad nature of viewing things, I am horrible in picking out particular words or phrases in people's speech since I tend to see the "whole" and only gain my insights once they've said enough for me to be able to put things together. Usually this happens while the person is talking. And while it may serve me to hold all thoughts until they have finished, I just don't work that way. I'll get to a point of "just enough" then start forming my own thoughts on that idea they just presented, and then interject and guide the conversation this way and that. I can absolutely see how some people would be so put off by this way of communication, so over the years, I've done my part to learn how to listen more rather than to see conversations as all about my own personal brainstorming session. If I'm selfish and honest, that's what I wish every conversation were like.

This is almost always my experience with ENFP's! As an intuitive feeling type, I usually like having those free-flowing conversations where our ideas kind of dance and swirl around each other and we usually say things like "it was that thing you said when you were saying something about the nature of XYZ, or something like that...?" and they totally get what I'm talking about. In cases like that, as long as any tangent references aren't leaving anyone out of the conversation, I don't feel like it's selfish at all, because there's mutual understanding. Plus, Ne tires me out pretty quickly, so I like having someone throw out more tangents to assess so I don't feel pressured to keep the conversation going.

Contrast with my conversations with a close ISFJ friend, though. I have to create a sort of "log" in my mind (or scroll through endless text messages) to remember everything I said precisely. If he ever misunderstands what I meant by something, I have to go back and repeat what he said and then repeat my response, then his response, and so on... and explain the exact place where the miscommunication started and why I think it happened. I can't just say "your understanding is like X and my understanding is like Y." If I do, he'll tell me I'm totally taking him out of context, but he won't explain to me what I'm not understanding, because usually he'd just rather forget it than try to explain his standpoint. Plus, he hates it when I make universal claims, and tells me I "don't know what I'm talking about." Grrr. So I have to go back and make my case using specific facts. It takes a lot of work, and the fact that I care way more about the misinterpretation than he does irritates me, too. Often when presented with the facts he'll finally understand where I'm coming from, but I have to take a break and simmer down. Thankfully, we're both introverts and are comfortable enough with each other that we can just be silent for a while doing our own thing. If I'm too tired I usually let things go, but if I keep letting the same miscommunication go again and again, I can't take it and instead of simply saying "I notice X happens a lot when we talk about Y," I have to map the whole conversation out.

The good thing is that he's good at remembering rules, so we "banned" certain words and phrases that tick each other off. He can't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about because I have "no experience," and I'm not allowed to tell him what he's feeling, I have to ask him so I know exactly what he's feeling, not just a general, pattern-based impression. At first that was annoying, but I found it helped me check my Ni's tendency to universalize from my own perspective. Now I have more accurate insight, and ask more guided questions instead of making sweeping, generalized assessments. (It's so hard to come up with questions that don't lead to more questions!!) He's starting to respect that I'm allowed to have opinions about things I've never experienced, and not take those opinions as finalized judgments, but merely theories. I learned just how hurtful my broad, general statements can be to people who are always considering that "you never know for sure until you ask." It's true, even though a lot of the time I don't necessarily want it to be.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I have a high score in Intuition. What I have noticed is that I also have a high score in Introvert. I could say :
"Well, I get on well with intuitive types". But of course it depends on the situation and the purpose of a conversation.

I have noticed : intuitive get easily passionate with what I wanna express. Sensors become more impatient.
I receive more feedback with intuitive people but they are more complicate beings themselves.
Or maybe it is just the way sensors express themselves that make me think they are sometimes "shallow" or "simple minded".

I am open to any conversation if it is human, realistic, clear, eventually humorous and somewhat challenging.
I get bored when communication is lead by one person only, where I feel my path is "narrow", and feels very unconfortable with people who try at all costs
to be right.

As says the author I am reading now (Roger-Pol Droit) :
"A unic road goes down and goes up again, they aren't two ways to look at the world. In reality do coexist two sides, opposites. It is essential to practice seeing always the two sides of the coin..."

 

[Poki]

oh wait...oh boy

As I was reading through the dialogue above, I was on the side of your father. I probably would've said the same to you. It wasn't until you concluded your post where it made sense to me. If someone were to ask for a copy of the plans, even after specifying that they'd like to see what professional plans look like and the inspection process they do, I would not think for one moment, perhaps this person wants to see what professional plans look like, but would think, ok, why are they REALLY asking me this question? ...shoot...just lost my train of thought as another train pulled into the station just now...

Basically, I would've said exactly what your dad said. I'll get back to you if I get that initial thought back. I was able to tell you exactly why I would've thought along your dad's lines but I lost it now, ugh! I think I have 1 too many squirrels in my room.

Lol, my response would be "what are you trying to figure out?" I dont really ask myself questions.

 

[Cellmold]

Well it doesn't matter if the talking points are in sync or not. The different framing renders it into a different reality for the person, some more shared across others than not.

If you're outside looking in and seeing how the two are saying roughly the same thing then that's because when we are not directly involved we can mentally step back due to not being 'up against it' and biting. But that observation is only useful if channelled into action that can distract the involved long enough to convince them of it being ontologically true (even if it really isn't).

Otherwise it doesn't solve the issue that these people really are inhabiting a completely different reality (regardless of typology or not).

Reconciliation is about belief systems (and don't confuse this with being religiously based) how they have been formed and convincing opposing beliefs to shift through various different methods.

When an experience of reality becomes too far removed or personalised (solipsism-style) to create outlets for, then you get breakdowns and people whose mental images are more important than sensory (non-typological) reality.

There's a reason David Hume only found sensory impressions in our mental realms.

And what humans do is we take our sensory input to a different level of abstraction due to the complexity of our main organ, good ole Mr B. Rain.

So if you really want to know about communication difficulties; get out in the world and communicate.

Sorry if this is like an attack on the point of the thread, but I see communication difficulties as arising from intricate interpersonal differences, not ideas of inherent typological traits.

 

[Dreamer]

Well it doesn't matter if the talking points are in sync or not. The different framing renders it into a different reality for the person, some more shared across others than not. If you're outside looking in and seeing how the two are saying roughly the same thing then that's because when we are not directly involved we can mentally step back due to not being 'up against it' and biting. But that observation is only useful if channelled into action that can distract the involved long enough to convince them of it being ontologically true (even if it really isn't). Otherwise it doesn't solve the issue that these people really are inhabiting a completely different reality (regardless of typology or not). Reconciliation is about belief systems (and don't confuse this with being religiously based) how they have been formed and convincing opposing beliefs to shift through various different methods. When an experience of reality becomes too far removed or personalised (solipsism-style) to create outlets for, then you get breakdowns and people whose mental images are more important than sensory (non-typological) reality. There's a reason David Hume only found sensory impressions in our mental realms. And what humans do is we take our sensory input to a different level of abstraction due to the complexity of our main organ, good ole Mr B. Rain. So if you really want to know about communication difficulties; get out in the world and communicate. Sorry if this is like an attack on the point of the thread, but I see communication difficulties as arising from intricate interpersonal differences, not ideas of inherent typological traits.

No need to apologize Cell, I didn't see your post as an attack on this thread topic at all. Actually, I'm sure what you bring up can easily be applied to the example I gave in the OP as well as other members' experiences as expressed in this thread. What I like about Typology and using such labels, is that it provides all of us a common language to look at shared experiences and perspectives. Everyone's view will no doubt vary, this is all abstract of course, but all of us understands the functions and types to a point where we can discuss common day struggles like miscommunication blunders or what have you, through this shared language. So while I expressed my original thought and started this thread in examining potential quibbles between Sensors and Intuitives, that only really describes this more abstract event between people. We can attach labels of any sort, but the particular interaction I first described is an interaction I feel is often something I run into with Sensor types, though, that same interaction, may be seen between other conflicting pairings in someone else's version of Typology.
Being the outsider and seeing a Sensor and Intuitive argue over really, a shared vision, is what I grew up around since my mom was ISFJ and my dad INTJ. I also often played mediator, essentially translating for each of them, what the other is trying to say. It does make things easier to play the observer rather than being the participant, so I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that I and other people may pick up a thing or two from this thread.

 

[Coriolis]

My impatience comes in part from what you described above as well, when some people feel the need to dot the Is and cross the Ts, but I feel what I run into more often, for which I have very little patience for, is when someone gets hung up on a word or phrase I may have mentioned, and suddenly everything that follows or has preceded it, is irrelevant because this one word or phrase has caught their attention and they focus in on it so much, the meaning of what I'm saying is completely lost. I can't stress it enough, but context is absolutely key for me in how I understand, see, and express things. If someone pulls a word or two out from what I've been saying, and remove it from its context, and worse, adds their own interpretation to those words, it frustrates me to no end. Because of this very, broad nature of viewing things, I am horrible in picking out particular words or phrases in people's speech since I tend to see the "whole" and only gain my insights once they've said enough for me to be able to put things together. Usually this happens while the person is talking. And while it may serve me to hold all thoughts until they have finished, I just don't work that way. I'll get to a point of "just enough" then start forming my own thoughts on that idea they just presented, and then interject and guide the conversation this way and that. I can absolutely see how some people would be so put off by this way of communication, so over the years, I've done my part to learn how to listen more rather than to see conversations as all about my own personal brainstorming session. If I'm selfish and honest, that's what I wish every conversation were like.

I don't run into too many people who get hung up on specific words and phrases. That would be annoying. I do the highlighted, though. I try to be patient if someone is insistent on going point by point without skipping any, but don't always succeed. I have to do more deliberate guiding of the conversation with people whose thoughts meander all over the ballpark, especially if I have a purpose in speaking with them, and need to cover certain points and get specific information. I have to remember what I want to know, and keep steering the conversation back to those points. I can get to them out of order and keep track of what has been covered if needed, and take advantage of any productive tangents that come up.

I'm...(just thinking out loud here) starting to think if there is a difference, or, more interestingly, a preference people have in whether someone talks to them through Te, or lives Te and expresses the essence of Te, using Te from your example as a particular ease for you to communicate with others. Do you know what I mean? ok, so, I'm visualizing this difference here, I feel there are those that feel a particular function, then express it through some other function, but because what they feel is that more dominant one, it comes out as this other function BUT still breathes the essence of that dominating function. Or, is the function being used to communicate more easily comprehensible. Using myself, I feel I am able to give my Fi structure and a sort of "logic" with my Te. However, I don't use Te as a dominant or aux function so what comes out is not Te's essence but a Te version of Fi.

OK, you lost me here. I don't know what you mean by "feeling a function". We use our functions, or more precisely, the idea of a function just describes how we approach the cognitive processes. I suspect everything goes through Te for me when I communicate, since that is my highest extraverted function. It also makes more digestible packets than the other functions would if left to their own devices, which of course they never would be, since all the functions work together.

How do you personally feel you communicate with me, versus say, an ETJ or ITJ? Do you find communication with the Te through another function more recognizable or a differing function expressed through Te?

I have to do alot more conversational guiding, especially in real-time chat (vent/discord). With posts it is easier, as I can peruse the whole thing and even reorganize it if needed as part of my reply, to make it easier to address. The other TJs will stay on topic better. As you have seen, the NTJs can be particularly focused in that regard, until by mutual tacit consent we take the conversation in some other direction.