Communication Difficulties Between Sensors and Intuitives

[LightSun]

This is certainly generalizing but I engage most successfully with other intuitive types. We like to dig deep rather instead of engaging on external reality superficiality. I've also garnered the sensory ST type realistic concrete thinking orientated types can collide with NF metaphorical abstract idealistic feelers. Personally my standard is I like to get one to three sentence commentary instead of smiley faces and shorter responses. There is no meat on the reply and nothing to dig deeper and stimulate my own thought process.

 

[Coriolis]

This is certainly generalizing but I engage most successfully with other intuitive types. We like to dig deep rather instead of engaging on external reality superficiality. I've also garnered realist thinking orientated types can collide with metaphorical idealistic people. Personally my standard is I like to get one to three sentence commentary instead of smiley faces and shorter responses. There is no meat on the reply and nothing to dig deeper and stimulate my own thought process.

Good grief - that is quite unsatisfying, unless on a fluff topic. I do better with other intuitives as well. The S types I get along with best are people I have known for a long while. I think it works because over time we just have become used to interpreting each other and making allowances.

 

[LightSun]

Good grief - that is quite unsatisfying, unless on a fluff topic. I do better with other intuitives as well. The S types I get along with best are people I have known for a long while. I think it works because over time we just have become used to interpreting each other and making allowances.

This is rhetorical but why can't people engage in civil fashion. Either agree or reason fashion propose counter point but not getting into attack and emotional subjective complaint, blame, label or judging. This is for you Coriolis I am an INFP. My heredity is my mom was an INFP along empathy (An INFP are rarest of NF and males even more rare). A man NF is the most rare among the 16 typed. Father was an ENTJ. My brother Steve in computers is as you an INTJ-the most rare of the NT's.

Genetically I am half NT and another half NF. I never heard of such a thing but it makes sense after my discovery.

 

[Poki]

Got a huge miscommunication i do frequently.

GF alarm goes off, she is exhausted. Roll over wrap my arms around her to make her comfortable and she falls asleep. She later apologizes for not getting up to make me breakfast because i asked for her steel cut oats yesterday.

I did have to tell her i purposely distracted her to not get up. Gave her an option she couldnt refuse. It is miscommunication, but intended. Its ways to use mis-communication for the better

 

[Poki]

This is rhetorical but why can't people engage in civil fashion. Either agree or reason fashion propose counter point but not getting into attack and emotional subjective complaint, blame, label or judging. This is for you Coriolis I am an INFP. My heredity is my mom was an INFP along empathy (An INFP are rarest of NF and males even more rare). A man NF is the most rare among the 16 typed. Father was an ENTJ. My brother Steve in computers is as you an INTJ-the most rare of the NT's. Genetically I am half NT and another half NF. I never heard of such a thing but it makes sense after my discovery.

I never understood rare INTJ as i know more INTJ then INTP by far. Actually i would say asain culture has quite a bit of INTJs and are a more NTJ culture. I would put canada as more INTP with a lean toward F as well. In a similiar manner you will find US as more STJ...we lean towards ESTJ though.

 

[acd]

I notice this mostly with my SJ mother. She is extremely detailed in her conversation. I'm impatient with details and just want to get to the point. I tend to gloss over details unless I think they are crucial to the point. She will recount every food she ate that day and aspect of her routine, too. She likes to talk about these things I think just because she wants to talk, it's conversation. (Maybe not so much an S thing, maybe more E.) I hate talking just to talk. Maybe I miss the point that these conversations are intended to connect in some way. I tend to jump around from idea to idea, weaving each together into some long convoluted point. (I'm sure that's really annoying.) I tend to assume people are following my train of thought. My mom will discuss something in a logical and linear fashion. If we talk politics (She a conservative Republican and me, a liberal Social Democrat), we may actually be agreeing on some point, but she continues to argue as if we don't-- I think because we both express our points very differently.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

oh wait...oh boy

As I was reading through the dialogue above, I was on the side of your father. I probably would've said the same to you. It wasn't until you concluded your post where it made sense to me. If someone were to ask for a copy of the plans, even after specifying that they'd like to see what professional plans look like and the inspection process they do, I would not think for one moment, perhaps this person wants to see what professional plans look like, but would think, ok, why are they REALLY asking me this question? ...shoot...just lost my train of thought as another train pulled into the station just now...

Basically, I would've said exactly what your dad said. I'll get back to you if I get that initial thought back. I was able to tell you exactly why I would've thought along your dad's lines but I lost it now, ugh! I think I have 1 too many squirrels in my room.

Interesting. I knew why [MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION] wanted to look at those plans. Store any pertinent data for future use (Ti). Maybe it wouldn't help but maybe it would have. Maybe it would come in handy down the line later. Don't know. But his dad was basing his thinking strictly relating to the current project and since it would not be necessary for the project to be completed, Poki's request was extraneous (Te).

Both had reasoning that wasn't overtly stated. Pretty cool.

 

[Poki]

Interesting. I knew why [MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION] wanted to look at those plans. Store any pertinent data for future use (Ti). Maybe it wouldn't help but maybe it would have. Maybe it would come in handy down the line later. Don't know. But his dad was basing his thinking strictly relating to the current project and since it would not be necessary for the project to be completed, Poki's request was extraneous (Te). Both had reasoning that wasn't overtly stated. Pretty cool.

Yeah, i became aware when my dad had switched from what i asked to a solution to a problem i didnt have. I dont really categorize this stuff as an issue, just a different goal. Its kinda funny because if i were to tell this to someone who thinks that way they would try and solve the communication issue where as for me its just data of how people work. Issues are defined by people, not situations. Some define issues by situation. To me every person has a different issue in a single situation. Its all based on that persons state of mind, emotions, etc. At time of situation that determines issue.

 

[LightSun]

I never understood rare INTJ as i know more INTJ then INTP by far. Actually i would say asain culture has quite a bit of INTJs and are a more NTJ culture. I would put canada as more INTP with a lean toward F as well. In a similiar manner you will find US as more STJ...we lean towards ESTJ though.

Greeting Poki, all I know is sensory are majority of our population representing 65% to intuitive 35 percentile. Too likewise extrovert being the majority 65% to 35 % for the intuitive. I'm a double in a minority sense.

'NF'
ENFJ (the teacher and growth catalyst) 05% population
ENFP (the champion and journalist) 05% population
INFP (the healer and questor) 01% population
INFJ (the counselor and author) 01% population

'NT'
ENTP (the inventor) 05% population
ENTJ (the field marshal) 05% population
INTP (the architect) 01% population
INTJ (the scientist) 01% population

 

[Poki]

Greeting Poki, all I know is sensory are majority of our population representing 65% to intuitive 35 percentile. Too likewise extrovert being the majority 65% to 35 % for the intuitive. I'm a double in a minority sense. 'NF' ENFJ (the teacher and growth catalyst) 05% population ENFP (the champion and journalist) 05% population INFP (the healer and questor) 01% population INFJ (the counselor and author) 01% population 'NT' ENTP (the inventor) 05% population ENTJ (the field marshal) 05% population INTP (the architect) 01% population INTJ (the scientist) 01% population

I dont buy it

Or...depends on what group you check.

Demographics from The Personality Questionnaire


We gather voluntary demographic information from individuals who take The Personality Questionnaire. We have generated some interesting statistical information from data we have gathered thus far. Data presented on this page is derived from a sample size of 6,000 individuals who took The Personality Questionnaire and offered voluntary information.
This data was gathered from people who took The Personality Questionnaire in the year 2000; 22,000 who volunteered personal data were included. Numbers are skewed to the year 2000 and are representative of the internet community rather than the public at large.
personality Type Frequency

1. ISFJ (11.9%)
2. INFP (11.4%)
3. ENFP (11.3%)
4. ISTJ (8.8%)
5. ESFJ (8.6%)
6. ESTJ (7.1%)
7. ISFP (5.9%)
8. INFJ (5.9%)
9. ESFP (5.4%)
10. ENFJ (4.3%)
11. INTP (4.0%)
12. ENTP (3.6%)
13. ISTP (3.1%)
14. INTJ (2.9%)
15. ESTP (2.8%)
16. ENTJ (2.2%)

---

Personality Temperament Frequency

1. The SJ "Guardian" Temperament (36%)
2. The NF "Idealist" Temperament (33%)
3. The SP "Artisan" Temperament (18%)
4. The NT "Rational" Temperament (13%)

 

[Numbly Aware]

Got a huge miscommunication i do frequently.

GF alarm goes off, she is exhausted. Roll over wrap my arms around her to make her comfortable and she falls asleep. She later apologizes for not getting up to make me breakfast because i asked for her steel cut oats yesterday.

I did have to tell her i purposely distracted her to not get up. Gave her an option she couldnt refuse. It is miscommunication, but intended. Its ways to use mis-communication for the better

Omg, my ISFP bf does that. I almost.... wanna complain but its just, uvkshsjdhddhsbssh make me smile like an idiot.

 

[Frosty]

I dont usually have a problem with people unless they try to command me to do stuff- or make demands- or just act like what Im doing is 'wrong'- order me around/ect. Usually this is Je doms. I don't usually have any problems with Je auxes, but Je doms... can be... harder. But it depends on the person to a very large extenet. And if they can respect me as a person then... I can get along with most people. I can be hard to get along with/communicate with too... because- I can be... hard to follow- stubborn- and passive aggressive sometimes(which I really hate really really hate... but... it happens- usually comes out with snark and short kinda impudent comments...) and I can drift off...

But yeah. I can usually get along ok with a lot of people... certain types maybe more likely but... I have people that I like and Im sure people that Ive not been super fond of with every type.

If you usually just let a conversation go where it wants to go- imo- itll travel somewhere interesting no matter who you are talking to.

I dunno.

 

[LightSun]

I dont buy it

Or...depends on what group you check.

Thanks very much for this information. My source is Please Understand Me by Keirsey and Bates which was a 40 year clinical study of the four temperament types and their differences when it comes to mating, parenting and leading. It is a classic and I took it in two different college classes as part of the curriculum selling two million copies.

 

[Yuurei]

It's worse between people who don't share your functions than simply N/S/reversing function order.

It's true, my best freind is very S. To the point that it see s like a mental diskrder ( I think anyone with a complete lack of S or N is like this.) and sometimes ut really is like we speak an entirely differently language. So frustrating.

 

[Flâneuse]

I tend to have communication difficulties with people at the far ends of the N/S spectrum.

When I start using abstract language with very strong Sensors, they seem to brush it off as fluff or vagueness, as they see the specifics as being the meat of a topic. To me, it's the underlying relationships between the details that are the "meat", so when they ignore those thoughts it feels like the main things I’m trying to say are being lost. Usually it's not that we aren't intellectually capable of understanding what the other has to say, more like we just put such different emphases on what's important that it seems to both of us that the other is missing the point and instead focusing on inessentials. I tend to give up and keep the conversation at what (in my view) is surface-level, while with people with decently-developed N (whether N is their main preference or not) I’m far more likely to get feedback on my points that keep the conversation going in an interesting direction, even if that feedback is having my views challenged or criticized (which is still better than having the point obscured entirely).

On the other hand, I am not a super-strong N and like a concrete example or two thrown in there every once in a while to keep things from getting vague - although I do not consider the details the point, they are sometimes necessary to illustrate the point and help me understand how a person arrived at a conclusion.

 

[Dreamer]

I've been thinking on this topic a few days now and I still don't have anything concrete to share that points to why exactly, I often have miscommunication with Sensors. The example laid out by [MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION] is an awesome one. I honest to goodness was reading along and was thinking the same as his INTJ dad. It wasn't till the end that I found out I would've been wrong too in my perception had I been in that conversation. Why did my mind take those words to some other place? I wonder if there is some common theme or "language" we can pick out that can help paint a better picture of what Sensor language is and what Intuitive language is. We all know it isn't limited to one's own interests in philosophy and theory, as that doesn't make an intuitive an intuitive. Plenty Sensors can have this interest as well, but I feel there would still be discrepancies between how the various types communicate.

 

[Poki]

I've been thinking on this topic a few days now and I still don't have anything concrete to share that points to why exactly, I often have miscommunication with Sensors. The example laid out by @Poki is an awesome one. I honest to goodness was reading along and was thinking the same as his INTJ dad. It wasn't till the end that I found out I would've been wrong too in my perception had I been in that conversation. Why did my mind take those words to some other place? I wonder if there is some common theme or "language" we can pick out that can help paint a better picture of what Sensor language is and what Intuitive language is. We all know it isn't limited to one's own interests in philosophy and theory, as that doesn't make an intuitive an intuitive. Plenty Sensors can have this interest as well, but I feel there would still be discrepancies between how the various types communicate.

For one thing you dont know me very well. How much people do you deal with that are like you think? I find Ne is highly attuned do to frequency creating a common. I do ask my GF every once in awhile. Are you looking at me or some stereotype built up. Intuiting instead of seeing what in front of you.

Because you dont just ask "why whats up", thats where miscommunication starts. Assumptions...your trying to become better at "assuming"...i would have to know you better. Shooting in the dark.

 

[miss fortune]

feelers cause me more communication problems than intuitives do by far

 

[Hiraeth]

This thread has got me thinking, and I think will elaborate on some points that were made here.

Personally, I think there is a general air that favors intuitives within the mbti community, whether people want to admit it or not. There is a different way people look at you when you are a certain type, especially if you are either a sensor or an intuitive. I don’t see myself as someone who is lesser because supposedly my type insinuates that I don’t have abstract interests or is unable to intellectually understand abstractions in general. I don't consider myself this way at all. I think balance is necessary and should be the key that one should strive for, regardless of one’s type. Generalities that put anyone in a box, whether it’s sensors, intuitives, feelers, thinkers, etc. are usually misrepresented and overall pertains to black and white thinking. There is more to a person besides their type, as everyone is an individual with different interests and different ways of looking at things. Communication is all about making it apparent that what is being addressed by one person is coherent to the other. I can easily misunderstand someone who has knowledge about a particular topic that I have no idea or interest in at all, and they could be a completely different type than me or even my own type. I suppose there are certain wavelengths that people lie on in the cognitive function spectrum, and maybe this has to do with miscommunications with certain types as well. But I don't think it's just sensors or just intuitives that have trouble understanding each other. Perhaps there is some other underlying issue that isn't being addressed.

 

[Agent Washington]

This thread has got me thinking, and I think will elaborate on some points that were made here.

Personally, I think there is a general air that favors intuitives within the mbti community, whether people want to admit it or not. There is a different way people look at you when you are a certain type, especially if you are either a sensor or an intuitive. I don’t see myself as someone who is lesser because supposedly my type insinuates that I don’t have abstract interests or is unable to intellectually understand abstractions in general. I don't consider myself this way at all. I think balance is necessary and should be the key that one should strive for, regardless of one’s type. Generalities that put anyone in a box, whether it’s sensors, intuitives, feelers, thinkers, etc. are usually misrepresented and overall pertains to black and white thinking. There is more to a person besides their type, as everyone is an individual with different interests and different ways of looking at things. Communication is all about making it apparent that what is being addressed by one person is coherent to the other. I can easily misunderstand someone who has knowledge about a particular topic that I have no idea or interest in at all, and they could be a completely different type than me or even my own type. I suppose there are certain wavelengths that people lie on in the cognitive function spectrum, and maybe this has to do with miscommunications with certain types as well. But I don't think it's just sensors or just intuitives that have trouble understanding each other. Perhaps there is some other underlying issue that isn't being addressed.

Exactly.
For every single situation involving misunderstandings with an Intuitive, I can think of a bajillion with other Sensors. Likewise with Fe/Fi users, Te/Ti users, etc. That's why there are general guidelines for communicating with people, and one of them is pretty much making sure that everybody is on the same page, considering your audience, etc.

It appears that utilising a black and white dichotomy may not necessarily help get to the root of the problem (I've been ... holding my tongue because I'm pretty sure what comes out would be simply snark at self-proclaimed "Intuitives" who simply just lack the degree of self-awareness to realise that the factor, in their case, is probably them -- Not you, ED, but some others here). The problem, sometimes, is incompatibility. Other times, it is imperative to demonstrate a certain degree of willingness to engage and listen, BOTH of which are important things in communication.