[INFP] Common INFP Issues

[nolla]

Disregarding facts that contradict what our Fi says

I think that our quest for happiness is having a lot to do with consistency between the internal and external. When the external world is in disagreement with your way, you need to do something about it. You can change the external or internal, or disregard one of them. It seems that for an INFP the easy way is to disregard the external. Ultimately a change is needed, though.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I think that our quest for happiness is having a lot to do with consistency between the internal and external. When the external world is in disagreement with your way, you need to do something about it. You can change the external or internal, or disregard one of them. It seems that for an INFP the easy way is to disregard the external. Ultimately a change is needed, though.

In a way, I feel this is a suspension of revising internal ideals until more information can come along to contradict the facts which contradict the ideals . It's kind of a refusal to accept the external as the whole picture just yet, optimistically envisioning future developments as revealing your ideals as correct or at least plausible. It's sort of a giving of the benefit of the doubt to your inner world.

At a certain point of course, you do have to let go, but the tendency is to hang on for as long as possible.

 

[nolla]

In a way, I feel this is a suspension of revising internal ideals until more information can come along to contradict the facts which contradict the ideals . It's kind of a refusal to accept the external as the whole picture just yet, optimistically envisioning future developments as revealing your ideals as correct or at least plausible. It's sort of a giving of the benefit of the doubt to your inner world.

That's an interesting way to put it. Looking like that it makes more sense how other people might see this sort of attitude weird.

 

[SpacemanSpiff]

In a way, I feel this is a suspension of revising internal ideals until more information can come along to contradict the facts which contradict the ideals . It's kind of a refusal to accept the external as the whole picture just yet, optimistically envisioning future developments as revealing your ideals as correct or at least plausible. It's sort of a giving of the benefit of the doubt to your inner world.

At a certain point of course, you do have to let go, but the tendency is to hang on for as long as possible.

I'd say that it's that at it's best, but crossing the line into simply disregarding evidence because you don't like it can most definitely be an INFP weakness.

 

[goats]

'xcuse me, just an INTP passing by and lurking on your forum.

You guys are... complicated.

 

[Moonflower]

Would "Appearing weird and creepy" count, or does that fall under "Social Disregard and/or Cluelessness"?

 

[NegativeZero]

We're lazy as FUCK.

 

[bunnyhighbrow]

We're lazy as FUCK.

Yeah.

 

[Moonflower]

We're lazy as FUCK.

I Never Finish Projects.

To me it's not laziness so much as feeling no desire to do something unless I feel it is significant.

It's similar to how I hate small talk because my Fi+Ne prefers that all conversations have some deep meaning.

 

[NegativeZero]

Does any other INFP hate showing up to school, or is at least reluctant to do so? I miss tons of school, and when I'm there I hate it. I once knew an INFP who did the same thing, and I've been wondering if other INFPs do this as well.

I think it's because school does not jive with my Fi and there's nothing there to stimulate my Ti.

 

[Eckhart]

Does any other INFP hate showing up to school, or is at least reluctant to do so? I miss tons of school, and when I'm there I hate it. I once knew an INFP who did the same thing, and I've been wondering if other INFPs do this as well.

I think it's because school does not jive with my Fi and there's nothing there to stimulate my Ti.

I used to not appear to school every while because of being "ill". I didn't really like going to school, for different reasons (I didn't really feel well at school). In my last school years I stopped with that behaviour though, because I felt in general more well at school at that time.

At university I became very lazy again though, and I don't visit all my courses, which brings me sometimes a bit in trouble as I figure out later.

 

[Adasta]

I found secondary school a struggle.

At university, however, I found things far more interesting. Plus, there were girls there - different girls! My Ne quivered at all the possibilities...

 

[OrangeAppled]

I was notorious for being absent from school. I actually did very well academically, and because of this, teachers did not call me out on missing a lot of class. They kind of looked the other way, as I still did my work & did it well, aced the tests, and was well-behaved when I did attend.

In middle school especially (ages 11-14), I sometimes faked illness to stay home, but I was also legitimately prone to bad migraines as a teenager. My parents were the kind who'd sign anything I stuck in front of them, so my absences were always excused with parental notes. In HS I did not miss quite as much school, especially in the last two years as I was ahead on credits & left at noon (making it though half a day was less daunting).

The reason I stayed home from school a lot was:
- The social pressure & energy-drain of interaction. I was very shy, felt awkward & out of place, and I had few friends. Sometimes I just needed to hide away from it all. I'd prefer to stay home with books & music & daydreams. The social part of school was what I hated; I've always liked academics & learning & done well in it.
- I was bored & arrogant. I figured if I could get straight As just going to school 3 out of 5 days a week, then why should I go everyday? Since I did not want to interact with people & I already knew the stuff we'd be learning, then I knew I'd just be bored & drained by school, and so I'd stay home. I felt justified in it.
- Lack of structure & laziness. Sometimes I just did not want to get out of bed on time or follow a schedule. I was not good at keeping routine (I'm still not). It was easy for me to just stay home when running late or unprepared for class. I missed the bus a lot too . I'm very mood-oriented & would allow myself to spontaneously change my plans for the day on a whim. I'd literally be listening to a song & decide I did not want to go to class because I felt like staying home & listening to that song instead.

I didn't miss college classes because it was an entirely different environment with different social & academic expectations. I really liked college & never felt like I wanted an excuse to miss class.

 

[Southern Kross]

Wow I thought I was the only INFP that pulled that sort of stuff. For some reason I imagined others would be more dutiful and diligent than I was.

I was probably one of the laziest academically minded students. I only did my homework about 2/3 of the time in high school. Usually I "left it at home" or "forgot to do it" or would use skillful delay tactics. But because I was generally a good student, teachers always let me off. I don't think I ever got a homework detention, which is odd because my school was strict on it. I pulled a sicky quite a bit too - mostly it was because I just couldn't face going to school. Occasionally there were specific reasons like drama class (ugh ). I was also frequently late, mainly because I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I behaved myself in class and usually did the work (if the exercises weren't lame and pointless), so in spite of all this I got stuck with the goody good label.

Like others, I was better at university. I liked the structure better and the fact I didn't have to deal with stupid HS social issues. Also I never had classes before 10am and I lived a 5 minute walk from uni - this made getting up in the morning less of an issue.

 

[Adasta]

I stopped doing my Maths homework for a while (because the teacher was terrible with people). I started again when my father threatened to watch over me to ensure I completed everything that was set.

 

[BRMC117]

I have a hard time being around people, even ones I know and love. In turn I flake out on people, coming up with bullshit excuses as to why I couldn't make it.
"why didn't you show up at the bar?"
"I have sweaty boot rash"
you know dumb shit like that.
Relationships seemed like a unachievable goal set forth from god. I am still amazed that I had one for 2 years (although we never did have off together so that probably why).
In a nutshell, people complicate things for me.

 

[OrangeAppled]

^ Sometimes I wonder if INFPs have the most complex love/hate relationship with people, and I mean people as a whole, not individuals. It's sort of the nature of Fi to be human/relationship focused & yet entirely contained & resisting being touched by others.

 

[singingintherain]

^ Sometimes I wonder if INFPs have the most complex love/hate relationship with people, and I mean people as a whole, not individuals. It's sort of the nature of Fi to be human/relationship focused & yet entirely contained & resisting being touched by others.

I am very much guilty of this - being a sensitive soul who grew up surrounded by a couple of judgemental figures (as much as I love them), I feel like I've retreated very much into myself, and although I love being in relationships, I have a nearly impossible time being completely open once in them. Maybe because my inner feelings aren't always 100% positive, and I loathe hurting people too?

 

[xenaprincess]

Originally Posted by NegativeZero
Recurrent feelings of self-failure
Feeling estranged or helpless when emotionally overwhelmed
Unaware of when to be assertive and when to be passive; the two functions are often used in inappropriate situations
Intense desire for meaningful companionship conflicting with our stark introversion: unbearable loneliness results
Tendency to contemplate rather than act, to project rather than solve esp. when the latter is often a better solution
Conflict between logic and emotions — a desire to feel less esp. in INFPs with well-developed Ti
Laziness, irresponsibility, immaturity, indecisiveness
Paralysis from fear or doubt
Stagnancy resulting from fear of change or unwillingness to try new things; uncanny timidness

oh boy, do I relate to this list. My timidity depends on the situation, though, and I wouldn't consider myself immature or irresponsible. I've learned some habits along the way, like just blurting things out regardless of what I think others would think, and being prompt to appointments.

The indecision is the worst part. My career paralysis lasted 8 years or so. I really suffered. Now just trying to figure out 'what creative project to initiate next' is just as painful.

My issue though with having a 'definition' is that we might be lulled into thinking this is 'normal', and thus passive toward change.

 

[FunnyDigestion]

I think I've just finished offending almost every single person I know... I hate offending people, but recently it seems to invariably follow people getting to know me. It's like the moment they see what I am coincides with them losing faith in me.