[INFP] Common INFP Issues

[runvardh]

Won't hold.

It doesn't does it...

 

[William K]

Do you feel an inner peace amidst the overwhelming chaos that is life? Or is the chaos part of the core?

Inner peace is when you have a healthy balance of order and chaos within

 

[21%]

Aww you INFPs

 

[Chunes]

So when you are interacting and experiencing life, what is going through your head? 95% of what I'm doing during that time is deciding what I think about stuff and deciding why I have arrived at those conclusions. I'm also figuring out whether the new information I'm receiving matches up with my previous impressions and beliefs.

I don't know. All I know is I have to very forcefully decide to focus on something to be in the mode where my thoughts are frameable. Most of the time my thoughts feel like a nebula. I know stuff is going on, but I'm not invited to the party.

 

[BRMC117]

Hello all! Seymour wanted me to have some input here since I am a type 2. I don't really know what all to say (I just took the test and got 2, so not sure what all that entails). I do know that the type @ is the "helper" and I do have the need to help others. but if ya any questions just ask.

 

[PeaceBaby]

^ it's pretty common for a 9 to misidentify as a 2. (My second highest score is type 2, which ties into some gender expectations as well.)

Any reason why you believe 2 is more accurate than 9?

 

[PeaceBaby]

Thread INFP posting stats (of members I know the details of):

Age ~20 - 30: 19
Age 30 - 40: 1
Age 40+: 3

-----

INFP's posting who are married or in long-term partnerships: 3

-----

INFP's posting who have children: 1


My points:

- Feelings are so all-encompassing during one's twenties (so intense for me too) that it is difficult to assess the true nature of INFP "issues" here, especially over time. What feels most predominant IS the Fi, and that's because most of the posters are in that time frame of development.

- The true nature of how much accommodation one might be capable of is not well represented either, in that most INFP's in thread are single and have no children, so the perspective is heavily weighted to those who have not yet been challenged in these areas of "giving".

Just some observations I felt important to point out.

 

[runvardh]

PeaceBaby, some of your singles have or may have been in relationships as well. I'm largely disenchanted with "giving" due to the romantic and familial relationships I have had in my life. It may have something to do with the fact that I rarely got anything back, but that's likely selfishness...

 

[21%]

Thread INFP posting stats (of members I know the details of):

Age ~20 - 30: 19
Age 30 - 40: 1
Age 40+: 3

-----

INFP's posting who are married or in long-term partnerships: 3

-----

INFP's posting who have children: 1


My points:

- Feelings are so all-encompassing during one's twenties (so intense for me too at that time) that it is difficult to assess the true nature of INFP "issues" here, especially over time. What feels most predominant IS the Fi, and that's because most of the posters are in that time frame of development.

- The true nature of how much accommodation one might be capable of is not well represented either, in that most INFP's in thread are single and have no children, so the perspective is heavily weighted to those who have not yet been challenged in these areas of "giving".

Just some observations I felt important to point out.

Thanks for pointing this out, Peacebaby. It's very interesting. I agree that people change a lot over time. I know I'm a different person now from who I was a few years ago. With experience, especially relationship experience and to a certain extent work responsibility experience, I think my worldview has changed a lot.

I have a feeling that all idealists will have to face disillusionment and be reconciled with reality somehow. This is not saying that you have to give up your dreams and become practical and realistic, but I think for all idealists to grow and mature, you need to have a firm grasp of both your ideals and the reality. I went through (and perhaps am still going through) a period of disillusionment and only after I emerged from it and re-established who I was with myself did I feel whole and complete again. And it's not just a one-time process. If I get even more disillusioned, I have to go through the same process again and redefine everything I know. What is it like for INFPs? Does the development of Si and Te play a part? What have your experiences been like?

Also, for olders INFPs, what are the main differences that you feel between now and then (20s or younger)? Any useful advice for younger INFPs?

 

[Udog]

If I get even more disillusioned, I have to go through the same process again and redefine everything I know. What is it like for INFPs? Does the development of Si and Te play a part? What have your experiences been like?

For me, the way out of disillusionment is through Ne and finding a new way to look at the world. If the new view makes sense and offers value, I'll integrate it, which leads to a gradual eroding of the disillusionment.

Also, for olders INFPs, what are the main differences that you feel between now and then (20s or younger)? Any useful advice for younger INFPs?

I don't see the world in the same stark shades of black and white that I used to. I still dichotomize things almost by reflex, but such categorizations are more nuanced and open to argumentation.

As far as advice: In order to grow out of the things that ail you, you need to change. Change requires that you commit the sin of "not being yourself" initially. Eventually, the new behavior will become a part of who you are.

Coming to terms with that contradiction is essential. If you must always act in congruence to "who you are now", you will forever be like you are now. You can learn new things, but you'll never grow or change. Either embrace that, or learn to face the paradox of growth.

 

[BRMC117]

^ it's pretty common for a 9 to misidentify as a 2. (My second highest score is type 2, which ties into some gender expectations as well.)

Any reason why you believe 2 is more accurate than 9?

Just what I have scored when I take the test I don't know a lot about these types, but when ever I take any of the test I get 2. any know of a really good one I could take or a site that help explain the types better?

 

[nolla]

If you must always act in congruence to "who you are now", you will forever be like you are now. You can learn new things, but you'll never grow or change. Either embrace that, or learn to face the paradox of growth.

Interesting. For me it was different. As long as I've been dealing with my identity problems I was always more willing to be the best possible me (the "future" me), it was a lot harder for me to start liking the me in the now. This doesn't mean that the future me was easy to be, though, but as it was just in my mind I liked it better and had no problem with the idea of leaving the "worse" me.

Only recently I've been thinking about the possibility to just be enough as I am. Maybe this is like a cycle that repeats itself in attempt to find equilibrium.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I have a question! :hi:

How far do your values extend. It is the leading function, so does it extend through everything you think about? Do you ask whether something is good, or bad (existentially speaking) even if it's merely picking up socks on the floor?

I'm trying to grasp the strength of Fi.

 

[angell_m]

For me, the way out of disillusionment is through Ne and finding a new way to look at the world. If the new view makes sense and offers value, I'll integrate it, which leads to a gradual eroding of the disillusionment.



I don't see the world in the same stark shades of black and white that I used to. I still dichotomize things almost by reflex, but such categorizations are more nuanced and open to argumentation.

As far as advice: In order to grow out of the things that ail you, you need to change. Change requires that you commit the sin of "not being yourself" initially. Eventually, the new behavior will become a part of who you are.

Coming to terms with that contradiction is essential. If you must always act in congruence to "who you are now", you will forever be like you are now. You can learn new things, but you'll never grow or change. Either embrace that, or learn to face the paradox of growth.

I will always be somewhat -this- way, but I will always grow, as do we all. I don't think I'll be able to become happy-go-lucky though, I will always stay somewhat dark.

I once asked someone what she wanted out of life, and she said "I will always look for new possibilities; to meet new people, to explore the world. There's so much I have yet to experience," to which I replied "That makes me look sooo negative. I don't really want much in life; I don't fancy materials, meeting new people, or exploring the world. I've seen enough of the world to last me a lifetime. And people bore me. I don't really know what I want. Love? I suppose love is all I really want. To love, to be loved, to accept and to be accepted," and she said "Wow, if that is all you want out of life, then you're way more positive than you might think."

I suppose it's all about who you are and how you look at it.

 

[angell_m]

picking up socks on the floor?

Doing the dishes? Why bother?

I clean the dishes, and then it takes a day and I'll have to clean them again. So why not get plastic cups and shit instead? I can't stand doing the dishes, because no matter how far in between I've done it, it will always feel like I did it a couple of hours ago.

I will unintentionally drop shit because my interest either wanders off or my attention is needed elsewhere. I can hold an object in my hand, and then, the phone rings. I'll drop the object, and then, completely forget about it. After a while, there's going to be a whole lot of objects lying around the house (Documents, pens, cartons, glasses). It becomes a mess. And I think to myself; I should clean this place up. But I don't. Because I know it'll become a mess after a little while anyway. There's only a few things that I can't stand having lying around, and that's food. I mean, I can forget that too, but I'll take it when I notice it, because I don't like it when it becomes dirty. Mess is ok, but dirt is another thing.

It's different when I'm at other people's houses or living with someone though. Then I won't forget. I can't forget. Because it is or can be important to them. I'll remember. And I'll clean to please them. Sometimes I forget, but I'll ultimately clean it up when I notice it. It's a mix between curtosy and pleasing I suppose.

My desk, however, looks like... caveman sat there. If anyone complains about my desk I'll ignore it, I'll even say "Who cares?" out loud, and if they say they do care I'll respond with "Boo hoo!"

 

[William K]

I have a question! :hi:

How far do your values extend. It is the leading function, so does it extend through everything you think about? Do you ask whether something is good, or bad (existentially speaking) even if it's merely picking up socks on the floor?

I'm trying to grasp the strength of Fi.

Socks? We're not OCPD!

Personally speaking, I have a comparatively small core of values. Most of it comes from my religious and cultural upbringing. Anything outside that core, I'm super flexi and won't think too much before making a decision. As long as it doesn't inconvenience me too much, I'm neutral.

However, the things in my core I'll dig in and defend to the death. Some of these values might even seem trivial to others. For example, I detest queue-jumpers. There are plenty of times when I almost become involved in accidents while driving because I won't back down to someone trying to cut queue. Which value does it trip up? The thought that it is being unfair to all the people who are patiently queueing up.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I don't know why you bothered stickying this thread. It would've been incessantly bumped anyway.

 

[Southern Kross]

I have a question! :hi:

How far do your values extend. It is the leading function, so does it extend through everything you think about? Do you ask whether something is good, or bad (existentially speaking) even if it's merely picking up socks on the floor?

I'm trying to grasp the strength of Fi.

Hmmm. No not really.

I don't know about other INFPs but for me the Fi value barometer exists more behind the scenes until something more significant sets it off. My Ne seems to lead my interaction with the everyday world; the endless tangental thoughts inspired by the environment around me, following on from one another is what typically ocupies me. With deeper thought (which I can snap into pretty quickly) Fi comes in and explores and evaluates things more closely. Its almost like the Fi just sleeps in the corner uninterested in participating all that much until things get serious, then it sits bolt upright and listens intently.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Socks? We're not OCPD!

Personally speaking, I have a comparatively small core of values. Most of it comes from my religious and cultural upbringing. Anything outside that core, I'm super flexi and won't think too much before making a decision. As long as it doesn't inconvenience me too much, I'm neutral.

However, the things in my core I'll dig in and defend to the death. Some of these values might even seem trivial to others. For example, I detest queue-jumpers. There are plenty of times when I almost become involved in accidents while driving because I won't back down to someone trying to cut queue. Which value does it trip up? The thought that it is being unfair to all the people who are patiently queueing up.

Doing the dishes? Why bother?

I clean the dishes, and then it takes a day and I'll have to clean them again. So why not get plastic cups and shit instead? I can't stand doing the dishes, because no matter how far in between I've done it, it will always feel like I did it a couple of hours ago.

I will unintentionally drop shit because my interest either wanders off or my attention is needed elsewhere. I can hold an object in my hand, and then, the phone rings. I'll drop the object, and then, completely forget about it. After a while, there's going to be a whole lot of objects lying around the house (Documents, pens, cartons, glasses). It becomes a mess. And I think to myself; I should clean this place up. But I don't. Because I know it'll become a mess after a little while anyway. There's only a few things that I can't stand having lying around, and that's food. I mean, I can forget that too, but I'll take it when I notice it, because I don't like it when it becomes dirty. Mess is ok, but dirt is another thing.

It's different when I'm at other people's houses or living with someone though. Then I won't forget. I can't forget. Because it is or can be important to them. I'll remember. And I'll clean to please them. Sometimes I forget, but I'll ultimately clean it up when I notice it. It's a mix between curtosy and pleasing I suppose.

My desk, however, looks like... caveman sat there. If anyone complains about my desk I'll ignore it, I'll even say "Who cares?" out loud, and if they say they do care I'll respond with "Boo hoo!"

Hmmm. No not really.

I don't know about other INFPs but for me the Fi value barometer exists more behind the scenes until something more significant sets it off. My Ne seems to lead my interaction with the everyday world; the endless tangental thoughts inspired by the environment around me, following on from one another is what typically ocupies me. With deeper thought (which I can snap into pretty quickly) Fi comes in and explores and evaluates things more closely. Its almost like the Fi just sleeps in the corner uninterested in participating all that much until things get serious, then it sits bolt upright and listens intently.

After reading all of these examples. I know Southern would agree, as she? stated it, but overall would you say that Fi has trigger(s) that is/are compromised before it marches into action (I think I know this answer, but I want to make sure)? If so is 'tripping the wire' rather obvious for others to see, in your experiences, and others as well?

 

[Udog]

Interesting. For me it was different. As long as I've been dealing with my identity problems I was always more willing to be the best possible me (the "future" me), it was a lot harder for me to start liking the me in the now. This doesn't mean that the future me was easy to be, though, but as it was just in my mind I liked it better and had no problem with the idea of leaving the "worse" me.

Actually, this is the BEST way I've discovered to make changes. This way, I'm not being untrue to myself, but rather, I'm learning to be true to a future, better me. But you still must let go of the current you to become the future you.

How far do your values extend. It is the leading function, so does it extend through everything you think about? Do you ask whether something is good, or bad (existentially speaking) even if it's merely picking up socks on the floor?

I'm going to cut against the grain and say, YES, even something like picking up socks is affected by Fi. Just not directly. It's not like I have a "pick up socks" value. That would just be silly.

Instead, I integrated the action of picking up socks into a larger, more important value. I figured out a way to make picking up socks meaningful to me, because it's a part of a more important whole. If I don't assign meaning to behavior and action, I won't be able to do them for very long.

I will always be somewhat -this- way, but I will always grow, as do we all. I don't think I'll be able to become happy-go-lucky though, I will always stay somewhat dark.

I see statements like that as self-fulfilling prophesies. Which is to say, if you WANT to remain somewhat dark, that's fine. It's just that a statement like that puts limits on how you may grow over time.