[NF] Comforting NFs

[Lizzy1813]

When sadness occurs, how do you prefer to be comforted? Do you need solitude? Do you want to discuss the cause?

I prefer to be left alone in mild upsets, but in a big upset, friends and family help soooo much. An INFP friend of mine, when mildly upset, doesn't mind my quirky humor to bring her out of it, but in extremities needs to be alone, or be serious, about the issue.

 

[Domino]

Very very bad scary = flee to nearest "safe person" and cling to them until scary has stopped

Very very bad angry/upset = withdrawal to capacitate and kick things/sit in total silence

 

[sciski]

Show you care. I accept any form of caring - hugs, listening, talking, concerned looks, cups of tea, an offer to help, advice, etc. Anything as long as you don't act as if you just want to fix up my problem and send me on my way.

When I was super-depressed, it coincided with my friends organising and throwing a big surprise party for me. That swung my mood 180 and kept me buoyant for days.

I tend to *think* I need solitude, but that usually turns out worse for me, so people who actually come after me when I'm unhappy are much appreciated.

 

[Domino]

Show you care. I accept any form of caring - hugs, listening, talking, concerned looks, cups of tea, an offer to help, advice, etc. Anything as long as you don't act as if you just want to fix up my problem and send me on my way.

When I was super-depressed, it coincided with my friends organising and throwing a big surprise party for me. That swung my mood 180 and kept me buoyant for days.

I tend to *think* I need solitude, but that usually turns out worse for me, so people who actually come after me when I'm unhappy are much appreciated.

How kind!

 

[Neo Genesis]

I tend to withdraw so that I can get a grip and deal with the problem. Typically, I get angry at myself for dumping my burdens on other people.

 

[animenagai]

i like someone to talk to as and all they need to be is sincere and supportive.

 

[kyuuei]

I suppose it depends. Like currently, I'm depressed from the waiting game to find out about a job or not.. a LOT is riding on this and I already lost some very important-to-me things throughout it. Even though I feel like I WANT to be alone.. I know it's best to be around friends to keep my spirits high and take my mind off of the situation until I get an answer.

I think the only time I NEED to be alone with an upset is when it comes down to family concerns. Relationships I always ask different points of view, and make my decisions based on my own feelings and any insight I received. Serious things I might be alone a day or two.. but then I need support anyways.. so I think my E causes me to never be alone when sad.. albeit I definitely enjoy my alone time when I'm happy.

 

[SillyGoose]

Okay, it may be just silly to some...but a HUG does wonders for me. If I am truly sad or depressed, a freaking hug is the best

Now just an everyday disappointment...just let me rant and I'll love ya forever.

 

[violaine]

I like to be left well alone until I can process what I'm feeling, if I have someone else around I feel like I have to comfort them in some way. If I ever really hurt myself physcially I hate being touched, makes me quite angry, hehe I have funny stories about stuff like that.

EDIT: I make sure people close to me know all of this though, I don't want them to have to guess at how best to comfort me.

 

[kyuuei]

Okay, it may be just silly to some...but a HUG does wonders for me. If I am truly sad or depressed, a freaking hug is the best

Now just an everyday disappointment...just let me rant and I'll love ya forever.

Well, they were invented by sunshine.. so I'm convinced they work.

Also, I always felt nothing was so powerful that a nice hot bath couldn't help soothe it, just a little.

 

[sciski]

How kind!

It was wonderful.

I'd been feeling neglected and depressed, and I was hiding and sulking, so it was a really good wake-up call.

 

[SillyGoose]

Well, they were invented by sunshine.. so I'm convinced they work.

Also, I always felt nothing was so powerful that a nice hot bath couldn't help soothe it, just a little.

I forgot about baths. They are yummy too. And they do just take the sting out of whatever is bothering me. But I could take a bath on my own and wouldn't need someone to actually go out of their way to comfort me. But ya! Bath good stuff.

 

[placebo]

I would definitely want someone to cheer me up, comfort me. I don't need advice, I don't particularly need to discuss it, I just want a little kindness sometimes.

 

[heart]

I'd take advice from a sincere, relatively open-minded hard thinker, otherwise just someone to take me seriously and give me understanding.

 

[burkeus]

Okay, it may be just silly to some...but a HUG does wonders for me. If I am truly sad or depressed, a freaking hug is the best

What are You doing here?

 

[Dwigie]

I like someone who listens to me and yes hugs are awesome .
I also need a "slap" so I don't just pamper myself and I can get into action. Basically give me some tough love at first so I can work through the problem and "do" something about it then afterwards gimme a hug. (my reward )

 

[Kyrielle]

I need time alone to digest what's going on and probably to cry. If I really trust you, I'll let you hug me, but be prepared for me to cry all over you. Which is why I don't let too many people hug me when I'm upset. It's not that I don't want the intimate gesture, I do; it's that when someone offers me such a thing when I'm upset, my composure crumbles in an embarrassing display of emotional relief.

Later, I'll want to talk about it. Sometimes I'm looking for a solution. Sometimes I just want to make sure my interpretation of the situation wasn't completely wonky.

 

[proteanmix]

I really think this depends on the person.

One of my coworkers returned to work yesterday after the death of his mother. I knew nothing about it because no sent out an email or anything. He was upset no one from work called him to comfort him or send him their condolences. He was said I work with you all 40 hours a week and none of you picked up a phone to call me or email me. He was very upset. My other coworker responded she'd be mortified if coworkers started calling her.

I guess it's figuring out how the person typically responds in times of lesser crises so you'll have an idea of how they're respond in a major situation. I know I'm the type of person that will seek out a trusted person to talk to. Other people withdraw to digest on their own. If I know that when something happens somebody closes off I let them and offer that when they're ready to communicate I'll be available. Others I just prepare of the onslaught because I know they talk it out.

 

[mlittrell]

talk to best friend briefly (only if it is something absolutely horrible) and then get over it in about 5 minutes lol

 

[Mondo]

I appreciate company when I think things aren't going so well. It usually makes me feel better.
If left alone, I will drown in the negativity.