velvet_vampiress
New member
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
My ISFJ ex came back as a friend 3 days after the break up
What the fuck does it mean??????
We met online and had a thing which i'm not even sure if I can call it a relationship although we call it that.
I saw red flags such as him falling head over heels to me very fast.
I ignored it.
He has depression, went to a doctor which i insisted him to.
We have a huge age gap.
We live in different countries.
The miscommunication and lack of physical connection got bad, we felt miserable.
We had two melt downs where he would distanced him self and I voiced my sadness that I don't feel loved.
The first one he got very distanced and I voiced my sadness then he took a break for a week but ended up only for 2 days because he said he felt too strongly for me and miss me.
The second one was what lead to our break up.
He said he wanted to take some time off from the relationship and I implicitly said i can't take it anymore, he got mad and suggested in rage to end the madness, i agree.
I said my nicest goodbye and for him to take care of him self (since he has depression).
Now, he came back after 3 days, as a friend.
He said he got in to his all time low after the break up and almost killed himself.
He now took medication because he knows he have real problems.
He's also going to take 1 year off his study to sort his depression.
He said it clearly, he wants to tell me because he still thinks of me as a good friend.
Later on in our conversation he also mentioned about "this friendship" to make it clearer.
Don't get me wrong, I've offered to go to his country for 3 months to see what we can do with our relationship.
At first he was excited, then he has doubts and slowly the idea is gone into oblivion.
I can't say I haven't tried.
I told him honestly that i was in my healing process when we ended things, but then he came back so the healing process have to change instead of doing it only by my self.
I told him I'm still trying to move on and i still have feelings for him.
I asked him whether he still has feelings for me since I heard that ISFJ has problem of letting go.
He said he doesn't have feelings for me, but then quickly add, but I don't know for sure, i need to wait it up to see.
I just can't even.....
Questions:
1. He's just a lonely guy and there was never a relationship wasn't it?
2. Does he even have any feelings for me? How can a loyal affectionate ISFJ can look for an ex after only 3 days as a friend? I still can't even get rid of my sadness.
3. Why does he come to me? Am I a routine in his life?
4. Can I still win him back? Now that he's back, my feelings are all rushing back. I'm planning to go on a year volunteering adventure. I want to come to his city and to meet him. At least now that i'm planning to go for sure and not just for him, it won't give him any pressure.
I've been giving him nothing but support, he said it him self that I've given him so many good things and he felt that he hasn't given back appropriately. My only down fall was the harsh criticism and the lack of physical contact that comes with the long distance relationship.
5. Should I move on or move forward?
Haaalp!
Confuzzled ENFP
What the fuck does it mean??????
We met online and had a thing which i'm not even sure if I can call it a relationship although we call it that.
I saw red flags such as him falling head over heels to me very fast.
I ignored it.
He has depression, went to a doctor which i insisted him to.
We have a huge age gap.
We live in different countries.
The miscommunication and lack of physical connection got bad, we felt miserable.
We had two melt downs where he would distanced him self and I voiced my sadness that I don't feel loved.
The first one he got very distanced and I voiced my sadness then he took a break for a week but ended up only for 2 days because he said he felt too strongly for me and miss me.
The second one was what lead to our break up.
He said he wanted to take some time off from the relationship and I implicitly said i can't take it anymore, he got mad and suggested in rage to end the madness, i agree.
I said my nicest goodbye and for him to take care of him self (since he has depression).
Now, he came back after 3 days, as a friend.
He said he got in to his all time low after the break up and almost killed himself.
He now took medication because he knows he have real problems.
He's also going to take 1 year off his study to sort his depression.
He said it clearly, he wants to tell me because he still thinks of me as a good friend.
Later on in our conversation he also mentioned about "this friendship" to make it clearer.
Don't get me wrong, I've offered to go to his country for 3 months to see what we can do with our relationship.
At first he was excited, then he has doubts and slowly the idea is gone into oblivion.
I can't say I haven't tried.
I told him honestly that i was in my healing process when we ended things, but then he came back so the healing process have to change instead of doing it only by my self.
I told him I'm still trying to move on and i still have feelings for him.
I asked him whether he still has feelings for me since I heard that ISFJ has problem of letting go.
He said he doesn't have feelings for me, but then quickly add, but I don't know for sure, i need to wait it up to see.
I just can't even.....
Questions:
1. He's just a lonely guy and there was never a relationship wasn't it?
2. Does he even have any feelings for me? How can a loyal affectionate ISFJ can look for an ex after only 3 days as a friend? I still can't even get rid of my sadness.
3. Why does he come to me? Am I a routine in his life?
4. Can I still win him back? Now that he's back, my feelings are all rushing back. I'm planning to go on a year volunteering adventure. I want to come to his city and to meet him. At least now that i'm planning to go for sure and not just for him, it won't give him any pressure.
I've been giving him nothing but support, he said it him self that I've given him so many good things and he felt that he hasn't given back appropriately. My only down fall was the harsh criticism and the lack of physical contact that comes with the long distance relationship.
5. Should I move on or move forward?
Haaalp!
Confuzzled ENFP