[ISTJ] Boyfriend broke up with me because we have different interests, but the same values

[cascadeco]

He is one of these people who don't want to be with someone if you don't have similar interest. Similar interest including love to enjoy things (Se) are obviously important to him like you have to love geography or he doesn't want to be with you if geography is so important to him. He wants to find partner who will shere common loving things using jump technique instead examine first person. ISTJ -> ISTP (if ISTJ stands for his type)

There is a lot misunderstanding in both of you.

I actually totally understand a desire for shared interests or similar interests to engage together, but did you not find some of the details of his desires went waay beyond just 'shared interests'? And why would he keep stringing her along if he truly only was seeking a running partner for example and she didn't fit the bill? Wouldn't he just immediately move on and search for people training to do triathlons? (using an extreme example for illustration)

 

[Norexan]

I actually totally understand a desire for shared interests or similar interests to engage together, but did you not find some of the details of his desires went waay beyond just 'shared interests'? And why would he keep stringing her along if he truly only was seeking a running partner for example and she didn't fit the bill? Wouldn't he just immediately move on and search for people training to do triathlons? (using an extreme example for illustration)

He defiantly use harsh words (who was truth by the way) in stress in cause to just hurt her.
Now reason, why didn't use before. Because he was in love with her so he already accepted her.

 

[Callisto]

Because he got out of shape and didn't even start running again until 2 months ago lol. It's not really an "interest," it's more that he finally started paying attention to his health again. He has ran 3 5ks in the past 2 months, I don't really think that's a lot.

 

[cascadeco]

Well anyway I'm sorry [MENTION=37529]Callisto[/MENTION]. From what you describe I think you should move on but I also know relationships are complicated and emotions can run deep and so good luck with whatever you decide. Edit: I would also suggest exploring why it is ok/desirable/acceptable for him to not do any flexing and to have all of these expectations of you, and you in the meantime are trying to flex as much as possible to appease his needs/desires, and whether this is the sort of relationship you want to be in.

 

[Norexan]

As I think so (reading reputation comment) he just want to give you a reason for his further action.

 

[anticlimatic]

If someone expresses a disinterest in being with you through either action or words the best course of action is to metaphorically hack the ropes between you with a machete of indignant apathy and let the boat drift off as it may. In most situations, it's statistically likely to yield the best outcome for you. Fighting, analyzing, clinging- only drives them off harder. Plus why would you want to be around someone who doesn't want to be around you? Or who uses you for selfish interests. WHACK.

 

[Callisto]

If someone expresses a disinterest in being with you through either action or words the best course of action is to metaphorically hack the ropes between you with a machete of indignant apathy and let the boat drift off as it may. In most situations, it's statistically likely to yield the best outcome for you. Fighting, analyzing, clinging- only drives them off harder. Plus why would you want to be around someone who doesn't want to be around you? Or who uses you for selfish interests. WHACK.

There's statistics on this huh?

 

[anticlimatic]

There's statistics on this huh?

There's statistics for everything.

 

[Tellenbach]

I don't think your bf broke up the relationship because of different interests; that was just an excuse. The break-up was probably for very shallow and even embarrassing reasons. He may have been trying to spare your feelings by using that excuse.