[MBTI General] Bloody INFPs and their capacity to turn INTJs into fuzzy hug addicts.

[Cranky]

I like his organ music

(2) you're human, like it or not.

Heh. You said ORGAN.

Am NOT human. YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW :steam:

 

[runvardh]

Heh. You said ORGAN.

Well I likes organ music, why wouldn't I say it?

Am NOT human. YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW :steam:

No.

Since you're an INTJ I'll let you get away with that. I will warn you though that my mother has tried using tears to sway me and has caused me to build up an immunity to it as a form of emotional blackmail.

 

[Cranky]

Since you're an INTJ I'll let you get away with that. I will warn you though that my mother has tried using tears to sway me and has caused me to build up an immunity to it as a form of emotional blackmail.

Now, this is sort of fascinating. I've known about six INFP males in my life, and they all share some SERIOUS mother issues.

I'm curious; is a traumatic childhood necessary to developing the full-blown INFP personality? I certainly started off with the mystical bent of an INFJ (and had a wonderful childhood), and then got beaten (socially and metaphorically speaking, and only after adolescence) into being an INTJ. I also grew up in a household full of practical and extroverted types.

What makes you like you are? And why the are you all so afraid of being emotionally manipulated? It's a VERY common theme with you guys.

 

[Silent Stars]

By the way - I have tremendous sympathy for you. While I don't know the whole story, I've come to despise the NFP (I've always considered it more of an ENFP thing, but us INFPs can be bad about it too) tendency to put alot of effort into opening someone up, and then moving on once they do.

Yeah, I've had that happen to me multiple times. It really sucks...

This is going to sound a bit strange...and I certainly don't want to act like a total drama queen, but how I really feel is violated. Not really in any sexual sense, but more as if someone cracked open my brain, shuffled about to get what they wanted, and failed to properly reorder everything when leaving. Also, they didn't suture me properly, and now I'm leaking goo and huggles.

I don't think that sounds strange at all...I've felt the same way before. I identify with a lot of what you've described in this thread, as I've had very similar experiences with INFP girls in my past, and although I am definitely an INFJ, I almost straddle the T/F line cause I use all those functions pretty much equally (Even long before I got into typology and whatnot, I always noticed that they worked hand in hand, and that I was a lot different in my thought processes than people on either side who had a strong preference.).

I just wanna encourage you to keep trying whenever you happen to see a good opportunity cause you seem like someone who is very genuine and would be highly appreciated by the right person in a relationship, which I think an INFP could very well be since I've had very much the same feelings about the positive aspects of being so close to one (I could've made basically the same posts about that as you have.), and although the negative aspects of those non-happy-endings definitely hurt, I'm happy for you that it happened (like I was for myself) because now you have a much better idea of what you want and I know that being with someone like that is WAY more than worth all the crap I went through with the wrong ones. I have a wonderful INFP girl in my life who I have a very strong, totally committed relationship with (although unfortunately it's long-distance for the time being), and I can honestly say that there could not possibly be a more perfect match for me than her, and she feels exactly the same.

So yeah...just keep an eye out for them and you'll strike gold sooner or later.

Much love and I really hope you feel better and gain a lot from all this....

 

[Cranky]

And why the are you all so afraid of being emotionally manipulated?

I mean, REALLY. All Mr. INFP would have had to do to get me to do anything at all would have been to say "If you loved me, you would make me scrambled eggs and rub my back."

I would then have proceeded to make him scrambled eggs and rub his back. Because I love him.

How hard would that have been?

 

[Kra]

The things that piss me off:

(1) I wasted TIME on him.
(2) I was WRONG about him.

That pretty much covers it.

Experimentation my dear, learn to love it and you'll do well. That's one thing I'm glad I learned from INTPs.


Athenian said something a few pages back about Fi being our crucial weakness, and I'd like to concur. That is why INTJ's typically have the hardest outer shell of all. People need to know that if they enter, great consequences follow their actions.

I would say something about turning weaknesses into strengths, and using Fi to "lure" others into Te's grasp, but I suppose that sounds a bit evil...

 

[Udog]

I'm quite interested, actually. The part of me that isn't cowering under my desk with swollen eyes and ripped Kleenex is fascinated to find out how these brain chemicals work. Also, my piano lesson last night went quite well; I'm doing my best to transmute these feelings into something useful. Hence, jazz piano and Bach.

The things that piss me off:

(1) I wasted TIME on him.
(2) I was WRONG about him.

That pretty much covers it.

Give me some time to think about your prior post. A quick reply, though:

(1) If you can learn a lesson that you can take into the future, the time will not have been wasted. Today's pain can help you find happiness tomorrow, if you let it.

(2) We all make mistakes. It may not be as simple as you being wrong about his character, but rather his maturity and strength. Well meaning people can do horrible things if they don't have the strength to do what is right.

Oh, and add me to the list of INFPs that have had mother issues. Interesting indeed.

 

[feckn_eejit]

Now, this is sort of fascinating. I've known about six INFP males in my life, and they all share some SERIOUS mother issues.

count me in... with an enfp mom. edit2: ... oh and serious issues with isfj father as well.

edit: like runvardh she had a number done on her when she was young as well...

and crabby, you seem awesome... you're gonna be fine

(though i must say, the idea of being classified, categorized, and dissected makes me cringe!)

 

[runvardh]

Now, this is sort of fascinating. I've known about six INFP males in my life, and they all share some SERIOUS mother issues.

I'm curious; is a traumatic childhood necessary to developing the full-blown INFP personality? I certainly started off with the mystical bent of an INFJ (and had a wonderful childhood), and then got beaten (socially and metaphorically speaking, and only after adolescence) into being an INTJ. I also grew up in a household full of practical and extroverted types.

What makes you like you are? And why the are you all so afraid of being emotionally manipulated? It's a VERY common theme with you guys.

Eh, I had an abused mother so I understand why she is the way she is, but that never negated the nead to protect myself around her. Kind of sucks really; I honestly love my mommy. Then I dated number of other girls who also did the manipulate thing and that turned the scabs into calluses.

I mean, REALLY. All Mr. INFP would have had to do to get me to do anything at all would have been to say "If you loved me, you would make me scrambled eggs and rub my back."

I would then have proceeded to make him scrambled eggs and rub his back. Because I love him.

How hard would that have been?

I wish I could find this kind of girl, though with values that jive with mine.

Experimentation my dear, learn to love it and you'll do well. That's one thing I'm glad I learned from INTPs.


Athenian said something a few pages back about Fi being our crucial weakness, and I'd like to concur. That is why INTJ's typically have the hardest outer shell of all. People need to know that if they enter, great consequences follow their actions.

I would say something about turning weaknesses into strengths, and using Fi to "lure" others into Te's grasp, but I suppose that sounds a bit evil...

Too late, you're already evil.

 

[Cranky]

...being with someone like that is WAY more than worth all the crap I went through with the wrong ones...there could not possibly be a more perfect match for me than her, and she feels exactly the same.

So yeah...just keep an eye out for them and you'll strike gold sooner or later.

Well, I'm going to say that THIS is the part where my Rational bits come in handy.

I'm a scientist by trade, and I'm capable of being reasonable when it comes to other INFPs. In essence, I'm totally rational about my utterly illogical desire for the White Knight...I know what constitutes one, and am perfectly capable of waiting for him. All I need is to be able to IDENTIFY him properly. Then comes the classification, categorization, and dissection.

 

[sonata]

Well, I'm going to say that THIS is the part where my Rational bits come in handy.

I'm a scientist by trade, and I'm capable of being reasonable when it comes to other INFPs. In essence, I'm totally rational about my utterly illogical desire for the White Knight...I know what constitutes one, and am perfectly capable of waiting for him. All I need is to be able to IDENTIFY him properly. Then comes the classification, categorization, and dissection.

Eek, you remind me of me.

We must also formulate a method by which, once we have identified them, they can recognize that we are the princesses.

 

[Cranky]

Eek, you remind me of me.

We must also formulate a method by which, once we have identified them, they can recognize that we are the princesses.

We could make buttons. INTJ Princess buttons.

Not joking.

Hmmm. CafePress, you think?

 

[runvardh]

Well, I'm going to say that THIS is the part where my Rational bits come in handy.

I'm a scientist by trade, and I'm capable of being reasonable when it comes to other INFPs. In essence, I'm totally rational about my utterly illogical desire for the White Knight...I know what constitutes one, and am perfectly capable of waiting for him. All I need is to be able to IDENTIFY him properly. Then comes the classification, categorization, and dissection.

See, cutting a guy up tends not to be very sexy - just say'n...

Eek, you remind me of me.

We must also formulate a method by which, once we have identified them, they can recognize that we are the princesses.

You will need long hair, a cute jeweled tiara, and a beautiful, pink flowing dress. Oh, and don't forget the glass slippers.



Me personally I'd be fine if you came by with an open lab coat and office casual dress underneath, functional office shoes - glasses preferred.

 

[sonata]

You will need long hair, a cute jeweled tiara, and a beautiful, pink flowing dress. Oh, and don't forget the glass slippers.



Me personally I'd be fine if you came by with an open lab coat and office casual dress underneath, functional office shoes - glasses preferred.

Second one sounds easier - I'm no good at walking in heels.

 

[Bubbles]

Grammar: I must buy this bottled love of which you speak!

Imperfection bothers me. (You people are aware that when an INTJ corrects your grammar, it is an act of love, right?)

But dialogue is allowed to be imperfect grammar... But I shall accept your love just the same.

I don't know. Fi is like, the core of the INFP. We speak it. We breathe it. We are Fi. But then INTJs are different.

Right now I'm talking with this INTJ, majorly depressed about being dumped. (Who dumped him was actually an ESFJ, but that's not important.) So this boy is now just....you know, "depressed" doesn't even cut it. You guys have like these tough exteriors and then with enough prodding you go to mush and cuddles, and I guess INFPs are opposite. We look all delicate and cute, but then inside, we're like a rock. We know what we are and what we want because, hello, we know our Fi.

Fi can be kind of selfish. Not in a horrible way, but an INFP knows what it wants when getting into something like a relationship. If the INFP realizes that what they want won't be there, they know this isn't satisfying enough to continue.

(Psst. A secret: Sometimes the INFP is wrong about that. I know I've been wrong before. )

 

[Cranky]

See, cutting a guy up tends not to be very sexy - just say'n...



You will need long hair, a cute jeweled tiara, and a beautiful, pink flowing dress. Oh, and don't forget the glass slippers.



Me personally I'd be fine if you came by with an open lab coat and office casual dress underneath, functional office shoes - glasses preferred.

I have all these things, and am highly not-averse to the notion of outfits.

(Well, the shoes are Lucite, b/c chicks with chopped-up feet cannot dance, and I do ballroom dance.)

 

[runvardh]

Second one sounds easier - I'm no good at walking in heels.

I'm not a fan of heels either; the girl ends up complaining too much.

I have all these things, and am highly not-averse to the notion of outfits.

(Well, the shoes are Lucite, b/c chicks with chopped-up feet cannot dance, and I do ballroom dance.)

But you're out of effective range...

 

[sonata]

Right now I'm talking with this INTJ, majorly depressed about being dumped. (Who dumped him was actually an ESFJ, but that's not important.) So this boy is now just....you know, "depressed" doesn't even cut it. You guys have like these tough exteriors and then with enough prodding you go to mush and cuddles, and I guess INFPs are opposite.

Yes. I'm pretty sure it goes something like this.

NFP expresses mush & cuddles at INTJ, who likes NFP and actually appreciates this.
INTJ thinks about how he himself would have to feel in order to be able to express what the NFP just did. INTJ thinks that he/she would never say what the NFP said unless he/she was completely head-over-heels I-want-to-be-with-you-forever, etc, etc. with the NFP.
Thus, INTJ concludes that NFP is head-over-heels crazy about him/her, so it is absolutely safe to open up completely, get rid of tough exterior, then to fall madly in love with NFP.
NFP was just being NFPs normal self, and is startled by INTJ who was all cold and prickly suddenly being mush and cuddles and very intense.
NFP bolts.
INTJ screwed.

(NFPs: Feel free to edit this if I don't have your side of the story right, which is probable).

 

[Cranky]

Yes. I'm pretty sure it goes something like this.

NFP expresses mush & cuddles at INTJ, who likes NFP and actually appreciates this.
INTJ thinks about how he himself would have to feel in order to be able to express what the NFP just did. INTJ thinks that he/she would never say what the NFP said unless he/she was completely head-over-heels I-want-to-be-with-you-forever, etc, etc. with the NFP.
Thus, INTJ concludes that NFP is head-over-heels crazy about him/her, so it is absolutely safe to open up completely, get rid of tough exterior, then to fall madly in love with NFP.
NFP was just being NFPs normal self, and is startled by INTJ who was all cold and prickly suddenly being mush and cuddles and very intense.
NFP bolts.
INTJ screwed.

(NFPs: Feel free to edit this if I don't have your side of the story right, which is probable).

Well, except that I said "goo and huggles" instead of "mush and cuddles" this is exactly correct.

 

[Bubbles]

Well, except that I said "goo and huggles" instead of "mush and cuddles" this is exactly correct.

^ Such an INTJ.