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Blazing-Remorse cycle

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
What can you tell about what goes with the individual who goes this kind of cycle?

I can tell the additional information that this person is not me. For other information, you will have to ask.
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,663
Instinctual Variant
sp
I go through this if I am understanding what you are talking about correctly.

I have periods where its very hard to control myself, and during those times I watch myself do things that I really dont want to do because not doing them increases all this negative energy in me until I am bursting, at which point there really is no control- which is even scarier than just giving into impulses earlier.

Its selfish. If there was some sort of way to completely lock me in a bubble during these times- where I have no way to impact anyone negatively- thats the preference even though I hate that too. But I hate that less than I hate being awful to other people, so its still the preference.

But for me. Blazing feels mostly out of my control and then if it continues, at some point entirely out of my control.

But the impact it has on others, even if it IS out of my control, I care about. And so I feel very remorseful afterwards.

But the remorse doesnt have enough power to really change what I do next time around much. Because its nearly impossible for me to control- if not completely impossible. Part of the remorse for me is also wondering... it its only 97% impossible... why cant I figure out that 3% or whatever.

Thats just my experience with blazing-remorse cycles if I am understanding you correctly. No idea what your specific situation is
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I go through this if I am understanding what you are talking about correctly.

I have periods where its very hard to control myself, and during those times I watch myself do things that I really dont want to do because not doing them increases all this negative energy in me until I am bursting, at which point there really is no control- which is even scarier than just giving into impulses earlier.

Its selfish. If there was some sort of way to completely lock me in a bubble during these times- where I have no way to impact anyone negatively- thats the preference even though I hate that too. But I hate that less than I hate being awful to other people, so its still the preference.

But for me. Blazing feels mostly out of my control and then if it continues, at some point entirely out of my control.

But the impact it has on others, even if it IS out of my control, I care about. And so I feel very remorseful afterwards.

But the remorse doesnt have enough power to really change what I do next time around much. Because its nearly impossible for me to control- if not completely impossible. Part of the remorse for me is also wondering... it its only 97% impossible... why cant I figure out that 3% or whatever.

Thats just my experience with blazing-remorse cycles if I am understanding you correctly. No idea what your specific situation is

Hey, your response captured my situation. I have someone who goes through this in a destructive way at the moment. I have to think more before replying. You're real. Thank you for that
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
What can you tell about what goes with the individual who goes this kind of cycle?

I can tell the additional information that this person is not me. For other information, you will have to ask.

I don't go through this cycle, and never feel blazing remorse. So I am unable to sympathise with someone suffering this cycle, however I can empathise with them. I can understand what they are feeling without feeling it myself. Just as a doctor can know what a broken leg feels like without having broken leg themself.

So sympathy can provide comfort, but empathy is uniquely helpful. However sympathy comes naturally, and is intuitive, while empathy is counter intuitive, and must be taught and learnt through practice. And in doing the practice there comes a moment when we get it, when we understand what empathy is, and how to do it.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
This was according to my vocabulary where I'm trying to capture something that's real. So the individual goes through these cycles. When she's Blazing, it means for me she's over exuberant, she makes many initiatives and feels highly of herself. She also forces her way through situations. For example: did someone say they want to go to Latvia? She orders tickets and walks their way to the ferry and train so they go through it. She feels positive about it. This is blazing as far I understand that american word.

Remorse, as far as I understand that american word, is displayed when she feels that maybe she ordered too many ferry tickets for the wrong persons to go to Latvia or Lithuania or whatever. She shows she's the worst. boo hoo! Really the worst. She's worth nothing. Nothing at all! Let her corpse be buried in the worst of the cemeteries around.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
This was according to my vocabulary where I'm trying to capture something that's real. So the individual goes through these cycles. When she's Blazing, it means for me she's over exuberant, she makes many initiatives and feels highly of herself. She also forces her way through situations. For example: did someone say they want to go to Latvia? She orders tickets and walks their way to the ferry and train so they go through it. She feels positive about it. This is blazing as far I understand that american word.

Remorse, as far as I understand that american word, is displayed when she feels that maybe she ordered too many ferry tickets for the wrong persons to go to Latvia or Lithuania or whatever. She shows she's the worst. boo hoo! Really the worst. She's worth nothing. Nothing at all! Let her corpse be buried in the worst of the cemeteries around.

Blazing remorse is certainly real. Most addicts experience blazing remorse. They promise to reform and give up their addiction, but soon they relapse into the same cycle.

And addiction consists of one trance within another trance, and when we end one trance, we are precipitated into the other trance, and vice versa - a never ending merry-go-round that is the addiction.
 
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