[NT] Berens' comments on NTs and conflict

[rivercrow]

From the On A Team section here.

Based on this stuff, it seems to me a lot of INTXs here might really be repressed or shy ENTXs.

How INTPs Deal with Conflict
The disruption that comes from team conflict keeps them from thinking clearly, so they avoid confrontation unless it is absolutely necessary. They might avoid conflict for too long, hoping it will go away. While they like a lively debate of ideas, when it becomes personal they can become noncommunicative until they can see a way to work with the conflict to resolve it.

How ENTPs Deal with Conflict
It may appear that they like conflict since they often engage in rather heated discussions to bring clarity and a more comprehensive understanding to the issues. When a conflict occurs, they will try to keep the conversation going and reframe what is going on, often commenting on the conversation and the direction it is taking. This can be misperceived as manipulative when it is really intended to keep things moving in a positive direction by working through conflict to get to an agreement.

How INTJs Deal with Conflict
When interpersonal conflict occurs, they will usually withdraw or move on. They want discussions to be calm and reasoned, and highly charged interactions often leave them feeling in complete doubt about what's happening. Relationships with even occasional improvement will be continued, but if they see no progress they will give up, learn from the experience, and move on. When a conflict of vision occurs, they can be stubborn about their own point of view and forge ahead.

How ENTJs Deal with Conflict
Conflict for them is yet one more factor to be managed in order to accomplish the goals of the team. They want to take a reasoned approach with little show of emotion. Their first response is to push back and when that doesn't work, they find a way to work around whatever the obstacles to agreement are. They are often seen as more single-solution focused than they actually are and are likely to welcome a good argument. They don't, however, want to waste time covering ground that has already been covered.

 

[Opivy1980]

From the On A Team section here.

Based on this stuff, it seems to me a lot of INTXs here might really be repressed or shy ENTXs.

The INTJ stuff is right on that is how I handle conflict I just ignore the other person and write them off if no progress is made.

 

[The Ü™]

The INTJ stuff is right on that is how I handle conflict I just ignore the other person and write them off if no progress is made.

I concur...once again!

 

[Totenkindly]

I strongly identify with the INTP description.

And the ENTP description fits much with my "arguments" with ENTPs -- even the parts I find frustrating (like the "manipulative" part... for a long time, I just didn't understand what was going on, they just seemed purposefully argumentative).

 

[The Ü™]

Based on this stuff, it seems to me a lot of INTXs here might really be repressed or shy ENTXs.

Sometimes I wonder if I am an Extravert -- a lot of people who don't know me often think I'm extroverted, because I act goofy.

 

[Totenkindly]

Sometimes I wonder if I am an Extravert -- a lot of people who don't know me often think I'm extroverted, because I act goofy.

ENTJ = Goofy

Oh yes, I hear that all the time.

 

[The Ü™]

ENTJ = Goofy

Oh yes, I hear that all the time.

Actually, I'm thinking people perceive me more as an ENTP.

On the other hand, I seem shallow to other people -- probably because I don't normally express anything beyond "goofiness," often because most people don't share and don't care about my interests.

 

[Natrushka]

<raising hand> That would be me. How 'bout how all the types handle conflict?

 

[Totenkindly]

Actually, I'm thinking people perceive me more as an ENTP.

Oh. Okay, they're goofy!

I can definitely see that more, the way you joke.

On the other hand, I seem shallow to other people -- probably because I don't normally express anything beyond "goofiness."

Do you mean in real life or here on the forums?

(You can resolve the forum issue, just post longer essays.)

 

[The Ü™]

Oh. Okay, they're goofy!

I can definitely see that more, the way you joke.



Do you mean in real life or here on the forums?

(You can resolve the forum issue, just post longer essays.)

Real life, of course!

I have no problem writing things down, though!

And you may not realize it yet, but my logic is perfect! My mom's ENTP boyfriend even said so!

 

[alex]

From the On A Team section here.

Based on this stuff, it seems to me a lot of INTXs here might really be repressed or shy ENTXs.

Hi all, I'm new so take it easy on me...at least for a few weeks.

I don't think I'm a repressed ENTX...my day is filled with forcing myself to be an E. And then I have to decompress and get away from EVERYONE.

 

[Totenkindly]

And you may not realize it yet, but my logic is perfect! My mom's ENTP boyfriend even said so!

You know ENTPs -- he was just trying to be argumentative, and you agreed with him instead...!

 

[OK Radio]

Based on this stuff, it seems to me a lot of INTXs here might really be repressed or shy ENTXs.

Among extremely close relations, I'll beat a dead horse beyond all recognition.

If it's not resolved, if it's obviously not dealt with, and if it's simply going to happen again, I'll keep trying to inject a rational and considerate mindset into the mix.

Don't make me get all ENTX here.

 

[htb]

Interesting. Is it accurate?

Always interested in having matters resolved, especially consequential interpersonal conflicts, I will regularly and directly raise the issue with those who are authorized to make the decision, until it is settled. Withdrawing from a room or conversation, one that does not include someone who is out of control, I find puzzling and counterproductive; and would never resort to it. In policy, deference simply out of a desire for self-preservation irritates me.

 

[Zhash]

The INTJ stuff is right on that is how I handle conflict I just ignore the other person and write them off if no progress is made.

Ditto

Sometimes I wonder if I am an Extravert -- a lot of people who don't know me often think I'm extroverted, because I act goofy.

Introversion is about going within to get energy. I happen to be a more extraverted INTJ because I was culturally socialized in an Italian family that welcomed people into their lives.

 

[rivercrow]

Introversion is about going within to get energy. I happen to be a more extraverted INTJ because I was culturally socialized in an Italian family that welcomed people into their lives.

YAY!!! See! See! This is one of the factors that IS taken into account when the MBTI is translated into other languages--cultural pressures have to be accounted for!

 

[Totenkindly]

YAY!!! See! See! This is one of the factors that IS taken into account when the MBTI is translated into other languages--cultural pressures have to be accounted for!

Definitely. Americans are so... Americacentric!

I have been reading about Bible interpretation and analysis, and it's the same thing -- what looks obvious or the "simple reading" on the surface doesn't mean anything like that, because we are overlaying our cultural perspective and background overtop the text. It's the exact same sort of mentality... part of it is laziness, part of it is simply not being aware of what the differences are because we don't even realize there ARE distinct differences.

 

[rivercrow]

The MBTI is a deceptively simple tool. Soooo sweet!

 

[htb]

Introversion is about going within to get energy.

Some MBTI-based systems emphasize that more than others; and yet most temperaments supposedly drawing energy from social interaction are described as gregarious.

That's relevant to me, insofar as while I don't actively seek social engagements, don't gladhand at them and quite enjoy solitude, I usually find myself catalyzed at the end of a social evening. I usually disengage from a given crowd at a point where my time no longer seems like my own.

 

[Oberon]

And the ENTP description fits much with my "arguments" with ENTPs -- even the parts I find frustrating (like the "manipulative" part... for a long time, I just didn't understand what was going on, they just seemed purposefully argumentative).

For the record, Jennifer, I am NOT argumentative.