[MBTI General] Auto Phobia?

[helen]

I was wondering how other NFs (and especially INFJs) experience/deal with/conquer phobias. Input from other types is welcome as well. Specifically I've wondered if any others of my type have experienced a fear of automobiles.

For awhile I was afraid to drive a car. To make a very long story somewhat brief, I finally overcame this to a large extent, got a drivers license, and started driving myself places. I always felt a little uneasy behind the wheel, but for about 9 months I was handling it pretty well and very happy about it. Well, then a few weeks ago I was in a near accident. I was in the city, pretty far from home, and had my two much younger siblings with me. It scared me (a lot) and undermined my confidence and basically. . . I've been really nervous of driving anywhere outside my small town since. I can work around this, as I work from home, and most of what I need in the way of shopping and libraries I can obtain within 20 minutes of here. When it becomes necessary to go someplace further out, I catch a ride with a family member or friend. Still, it's annoying to be this way.

It's not that I'm afraid of being injured in an accident or dying, although I don't relish either prospect, lol. I'm afraid (no, terrified) of making a driving error of some kind and killing someone. Cars are dangerous and they kill people. Driving one is such a huge responsibility. When I think of all the lives lost in automobile accidents I feel sick. So, to me, this hardly feels like an irrational fear. It's not like it's something I can reason myself out of, because the more I think about it, the worse it gets.

I do feel pretty comfortable driving around this small country town I live in, like I said. There is not much traffic, and I know the area well enough to feel fairly confident that I won't make any stupid mistakes. But it's hard to imagine, for instance, being comfortable driving around a big city that I've never visited before. Yet not being able to do that seems sort of crippling. It limits possibilities for the future so much.

I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this and if you have any insights to share.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Oh!
At first, I thought you meant a fear of one's self.

Unfortunately, I don't have a very good answer to this(I'm an NT anyway...).
I've only found a way around phobias by directly facing them.
Exposure therapy. It's the roughest but most sure-fire way.

Also, I think most people would be anxious about driving in a big, unfamilar city. That kind of thing always sucks.
It's really just a matter of how well you handle anxiety sometimes, as oppose to whether or not you feel it.

 

[Schizm]

I love driving

but i hate passenger seat drivers or control freaks. Fucking annoying. i swear I should have an eject button for the passenger seat driver. And they drive just as terrible as I do. The only difference is that can't handle not being in control. Hypocrites. Enough with this rant.

NYC is by far the best city that I have driven in. Fast, cut throat, at each other's throats. Animal instincts at it's greatest. I am a damn good driver in this city.

BTW, I have been run off the road into the turn the turn lane or onto the greens more times than not. So the idiots who don't look while getting over, please start looking. thanks, b/c if you did cause me to have an accident, my crippled ass is libel to get out and give the same damage. Eye for an eye is a fine philosophy.

(And to the intp who sees the illogical inconsistency in this post, I salute you but I am leaving it)

 

[Atomic Fiend]

This morning while on the way to school one of the first sights of the day was road kill that wasn't dead, yet. We (the drivers) drove around the animal as the younger moved around the not yet dead adult duck. Because of this these young animals would more then likely be more careful when dealing with giant hunks of rolling metal.

While I was disgusted, I still had to get to school. I drove while still distracted by the aforementioned animal, munching on an apple and playing with the bubble wrap left by the mechanics who just fixed up my car, I push past a fourteen year old who was also distracted, listening to her MP3 player, walking across the street as carelessly as I was driving. I could say that If she was hit it would be her fault that she continued walking while cars were buzzing past at 55 mph. But that would be saying that the guy playing with bubble wrap and eating and apple had no fault in the accident. I say you shouldn't have an unreasonable fear of driving, but still a fear, as I never understood why some people need the fear of getting a ticket before they can drive safely, The fear of death does the job for me.

 

[Athenian200]

Me? I've never driven. I literally am not willing to accept the responsibility of all those people's lives, even if it costs me a lot in inconvenience or time. I'm also alarmed by the expectation to focus on something outside myself for that amount of time, because I have trouble focusing for that long.

Note that I'm not really scared for myself as much as I'm not willing to risk anyone else's life for my own convenience.

 

[findthejake]

Fear... I learned early in life to confront my fears and not back away from them. So now when I realize I am afraid of something, I tackle it head on. Like right now my fear of relationships. Unfortunately it's not working out so well but one of these times it'll stick and I will overcome! Then I'll have to get over other fears... Endless cycle but it keeps life full of goals and challenges.

 

[cafe]

I was very scared at first (I actually had weird recurring dreams about driving when I started driving), but if you live in the US in a non-urban area, you don't have a lot of choice. You either drive or are dependent. I guess I fear dependence more than road dangers, so I drive. Driving in cities that are very much larger than my own scares me, sometimes to the point that I grip the wheel so hard my hands hurt and I'm so nervous I want to cry, but a girl's gotta do.

 

[shimsham]

Well, I'm 24, and still have never learned to drive. It's helped that I've always lived in urban areas, where I'd prefer to take public transportation anyway. Lately I've been considering getting my license out of necessity.

I love being in cars, staring out the window, blasting music. There's something about driving and listening to a good song that is an amazing combination. Almost seems to enhance the music. But, I'm not sure how I'll like actually being the driver. I'll have to get back to you on that.

 

[Kyrielle]

You aren't alone. I still get very, very nervous when driving because I'm aware of how stupid people can be when they get into a car. This is why I try to walk whereever I can. But you're still going to have to drive anyway, so I guess the best you can do to confront it, is to do what you must.

 

[Roger Mexico]

Fear... I learned early in life to confront my fears and not back away from them. So now when I realize I am afraid of something, I tackle it head on. Like right now my fear of relationships. Unfortunately it's not working out so well but one of these times it'll stick and I will overcome! Then I'll have to get over other fears... Endless cycle but it keeps life full of goals and challenges.

Beefcake! Beeeefcaaaaake!

 

[findthejake]

^the joke aludes me...

 

[arcticangel02]

Hrm. I almost want to say that if you're scared of driving, then DON'T. I tend to think that nervous drivers are as dangerous as those who are deliberately reckless.

I mean, I don't want to say that you're not allowed to drive, and definitely try and overcome your fears when driving where you're comfortable, but to be honest, if you're constantly jumpy and unsettled on the road, you're going to have a tendancy to move rapidly and erratically, which is bad for everyone else when they're driving around you.

This is also why I consider tailgating absolutely infuritating. Not only are they risking lives by deliberately travelling too close, they make the driver in front of them nervous and that causes even more problems. The driver ends up paying more attention to the car behind them than the road around/in front of them... and then hastily tries to get out of their way, not necessarily taking as much time to check the other lane than they should have...

Grr.

Moving on.

I actually did a defensive driving course a couple months after I got my new car, and I found that really good. They got you to brake rapidly (ABS and all), drive quickly around markers (forward and backwards), and lots of things like that. It helped me (especially cause I was a fairly new driver) to become that much more comfortable with my car and just what it could do - I feel like I can trust that the car is going to stop exactly when I need it to stop, which helps with the whole feeling comfortable on the road thing.

So maybe look into something like that?

Good luck!

 

[Xander]

At some point you have to surrender to the idea that there are thing which you cannot control and they can and will kill you or end up with you killing someone else. All you can do is reduce the likelihood of it happening. If your method of playing the numbers is to avoid being put in the situation where it may happen then I'd say that it's no more or less sensible than any other solution. It may well inhibit you more but it's a more certain solution as well.

You do realise though that by not paying attention when crossing a road, or some other minor incident, you may inadvertently cause an accident which results in someone's death. You just can't be certain.

Oh and driving a small, light car helps a lot as it responds to your input quicker. That's helps build confidence in so much as you know the car will respond quicker to your control and hence give you more control over it. Strangely the small sports cars are probably the safest from this perspective. Control over increase in speed gives as much confidence as the control over the reduction of speed in my experience.

 

[cafe]

Hrm. I almost want to say that if you're scared of driving, then DON'T. I tend to think that nervous drivers are as dangerous as those who are deliberately reckless.

I mean, I don't want to say that you're not allowed to drive, and definitely try and overcome your fears when driving where you're comfortable, but to be honest, if you're constantly jumpy and unsettled on the road, you're going to have a tendancy to move rapidly and erratically, which is bad for everyone else when they're driving around you.

I actually do the opposite. I move with steady deliberation. I'm very cautious and pass cautiously. I have never had a traffic ticket in twenty years of driving. To me, it is the reckless who move rapidly and erratically. They think they can't die or something.

This is also why I consider tailgating absolutely infuritating. Not only are they risking lives by deliberately travelling too close, they make the driver in front of them nervous and that causes even more problems. The driver ends up paying more attention to the car behind them than the road around/in front of them... and then hastily tries to get out of their way, not necessarily taking as much time to check the other lane than they should have...

I hate tailgating, too. I do not usually change lanes, though. I slow down so that I have more time to react because I know the tailgater is a distraction. Hopefully, they pass me. If they persist, I slow WAY down because I want them to know that their behavior does not have the desired effect and that they should stop it.

 

[arcticangel02]

I hate tailgating, too. I do not usually change lanes, though. I slow down so that I have more time to react because I know the tailgater is a distraction. Hopefully, they pass me. If they persist, I slow WAY down because I want them to know that their behavior does not have the desired effect and that they should stop it.

Good on you.

I do it too, when I'm feeling a little mean. But mostly I can't be bothered dealing with them, and just get out of their way.

Also, it's sometimes not such a good thing to deliberately annoy tailgaters. I've heard stories where people have been followed aggressively all the way to a shopping center (she wasn't about to go home!), or, in one girl's case, the driver behind her actually *bumped* her car from behind while they were still driving. Twice!

She actually had to pull over and stop because she was so freaked out.

:steam:

...

This isn't helping the discussion on how not to be afraid of driving, is it?