Ask God

[A window to the soul]

Dear Nerd Girl,

Of course the world is different because you were born! Haven't you seen It's A Wonderful Life? Get thee to the Netflix! Now, as for you having a positive effect on lives - you haven't been shanked by anyone, have you? (Have you?) That's a pretty good sign in the affirmative. If you don't believe me, just wait until Christmas. Every gift you get is someone saying they're happy to have you around. Or at least that they don't want to shank you.

Thank you God! You always know what to say to cheer a girl up. Do you even know how special you are?

 

[citizen cane]

Why do your followers act like such judgemental and closed-minded morons?

 

[Nicodemus]

Why do your followers act like such judgemental and closed-minded morons?

Why does a stone act like a stone?

 

[citizen cane]

Why does a stone act like a stone?

I know what you're getting at.



Honestly, I was not so much looking for mind-changing insight as I was for the OP to either respond differently than he is wont to do, or make a fool of himself.

 

[FemMecha]

Why is faith a good thing?

This is one actual question I would ask if I could because that is at the core of why I'm no longer religious. It just seems that skepticism, distance, with a growing attempt at a realistic sense of probabilities would seem to produce more accurate assumptions and results when acted upon. I know one answer that says everyone has faith in day to day life like "faith the sun will rise". I don't have faith the sun will rise, but I think the probability is high enough to act upon the assumption that it will. This is different that certitude and faith.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Dear God,

If deep calls to deep, what do I call to?

~ a sound wave trapped between the shells of air bubbles

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Why do your followers act like such judgemental and closed-minded morons?

Dear wheelchairdoug,

I can't answer your question to your satisfaction because I reject the blanket nature of your premise. However, if you want to know why a fair number of my followers are judgmental and closed-minded morons, I would answer that it's because a fair number of people are judgmental and closed-minded morons. It doesn't really have anything to do with me. If you are not among them, rejoice that I have created people to make you look good!

Why is faith a good thing?

This is one actual question I would ask if I could because that is at the core of why I'm no longer religious. It just seems that skepticism, distance, with a growing attempt at a realistic sense of probabilities would seem to produce more accurate assumptions and results when acted upon. I know one answer that says everyone has faith in day to day life like "faith the sun will rise". I don't have faith the sun will rise, but I think the probability is high enough to act upon the assumption that it will. This is different that certitude and faith.

Dear fla,

Thank you for such a thoughtful question. I suppose I'd say that the most important thing about faith is that it teaches humility. It's a reminder that people don't know everything, and that in fact people know very little of all there is to know.

I think there is a commonality among people who do not believe I exist; they are overly concerned with looking the fool by being wrong. There is a risk/reward inherent in any sort of faith, not just religious faith, and these people choose not to take the risk. Humans are wrong far more than they are right, and often based on no more evidence than there is of my existence. Faith acknowledges this by embracing uncertainty. In a sense, this is a more truthful way to live than going around telling people they're silly because you think you know all there is to know.

 

[Nicodemus]

[...] a fair number of people are judgmental and closed-minded morons. It doesn't really have anything to do with me. [...] I have created people to make you look good!

This is almost as bad as the Bible, Lord.

 

[Eugene Watson VIII]

What is Santas moral teachings for christmas for the now employed? How does blood and thunder in the office translate into under the tree goodnessness? I am lost.

 

[sprinkles]

Am I correct that Eden was not a place?
Am I correct that Eden was actually a state of being?
Am I correct that we left the Eden state of being when we gained the human condition?
Am I correct that there was no deception or trickery involved, except what resulted from this human condition that we gained?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

What is Santas moral teachings for christmas for the now employed? How does blood and thunder in the office translate into under the tree goodnessness? I am lost.

Dear minutegovt,

You are not alone in being lost.

Am I correct that Eden was not a place?
Am I correct that Eden was actually a state of being?
Am I correct that we left the Eden state of being when we gained the human condition?
Am I correct that there was no deception or trickery involved, except what resulted from this human condition that we gained?

Dear sprinkles,

You know I don't like to just state things plainly. That's not really my style. But you're in the neighborhood.

 

[RaptorWizard]

Dear God, will there ever be world peace?

 

[Infinite Bubble]

Dear Allah, Ra, Yahweh, Zeus, Budai, Thor, Oh Wise One, Holy Cat etc:

If the concept of you is a figment of the human imagination, does that make humans God's God?

 

[Mole]

Why does EffEmDoubleyou keep on catching me out. Does he think this is a game of cricket?

 

[wolfy]

Do angels gossip around the holy water fountain?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God, will there ever be world peace?

Dear RaptorWizard,

I certainly hope so!

Human nature being what it is, world peace is a tall order. Oddly, an alien* invasion may be the one thing that does it, but that won't stop war, it'll just stop human-on-human war. As long as people focus on their differences instead of their similarities, there can be no peace. As long as people argue over me (my greatest disappointment), there can be no peace. However, I never give people a problem they can't solve. You can do it!

*No, I'm not telling.

Dear Allah, Ra, Yahweh, Zeus, Budai, Thor, Oh Wise One, Holy Cat etc:

If the concept of you is a figment of the human imagination, does that make humans God's God?

Dear Infinite Bubble,

If the concept of me was a figment of the human imagination, I suppose humans would be God's creator, but I would hesitate to call humans God's God. In this case, God would be a concept, not a being, and while a concept can have a creator, I don't think a concept can have a God. That requires a two-way relationship. It's all moot, of course, since I am writing this and I exist. But it's a fun exercise!

BTW, I'm not one for stuffy titles, but Holy Cat is pretty awesome. I dig it.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Why does EffEmDoubleyou keep on catching me out. Does he think this is a game of cricket?

Dear Mole,

EffEmDoubleyou is a tricky one. However, I suspect he does not think this is a game of cricket. Parrying and thrusting with you is much more exciting than sitting through a test match in the sun slowly getting an upset stomach from beer and heat.

Do angels gossip around the holy water fountain?

Dear Wolfy,

Angels are my messengers, and as such, they see all kinds of crazy shit. They're the troops on the ground, so they always have great stories. Naturally, it follows that they're world-class gossips. There's even a story about you that made the rounds not too long ago. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Let me just say I'm kind of both disgusted and impressed.

You might be interested to know that the holy water fountains up here are pimped out. The fountains appear to dispense water, but as soon as it enters your cup, it transforms into any beverage you want. Well, except Clamato. It's heaven, we have to have some kind of standards.

 

[Ivy]

Dear God,
Where were you for the last eight months? Does God take vacations? If so, where does God go?
Thanks for life 'n' stuff,
Ivy

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Dear God,
Where were you for the last eight months? Does God take vacations? If so, where does God go?
Thanks for life 'n' stuff,
Ivy

Dear Ivy,

As a deity without a physical body, you can imagine I have little use for sick days. Still, I'm entitled to them, and I had to use them all up or I would lose them. I swear though, it's almost not worth it because of all the work I have to do when I get back to fix what Satan does when I'm gone. Between the government shutdown, Boston winning another sports championship, and eight months of backlogged everyday fuckery, I'm going to be smiting into the wee hours for weeks.

Thank you for asking about my vacation. I mostly puttered around the house working on some new projects*, but I did get out to see some unicorn racing and I joined a cloud bowling league.

Also, you're welcome!

* Earth 2.0