Ask God

[EffEmDoubleyou]

God, since you also live in LA would you do something about the traffic? how about another carmaggedon? i'd like to drive to the westside in 10 minutes please.

Wildflower,

Your wish will come true! There will be another Carmageddon in 10 months when they fix the other side of the bridge. I only hope that my children in Los Angeles will be as peaceful as they were the first time. Unfortunately, I suspect everyone will assume everyone ELSE will stay home like the first time, and then everyone will conclude it's okay to go out. God lives in the valley, so he hopes not.

I totally just went third person on y'all!

 

[Kierva]

will you bovver to answer this?

 

[Mole]

Being offended by our disobedience, why is it that the only way you could forgive us was by torturing your son to death?

 

[strawberries]

dear god, do i got the magic in me?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

will you bovver to answer this?

Uwace,

Sure, nobody ever asks me questions about culture! My favorite scary movie is Alien.

Being offended by our disobedience, why is it that the only way you could forgive us was by torturing your son to death?

Victor,

It is often said that you should not judge a man before you walk a mile in his shoes. I had to know human suffering before I could judge humankind. As an added bonus, it violated Australian law!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

dear god, do i got the magic in me?

strawberries,

That all depends on you! Allow me to defer to Shaun Cassidy on this one. His wisdom has divined the answer you are looking for.

[youtube=1C_WTtmxkqs]Do you, strawberries?[/youtube]

 

[mmhmm]

dear God,

i always call out for you (oh god, oh my god) everytime jock is manhandling me.
i just wanted to say thanks for watching over for us and making jock look just
like a grecian version of you(s).

love, mmhmm

 

[iwakar]

Dear God,

Make it stop.

Amen.

 

[Kierva]

God

I want a nice ass and a bigger dick. I want near perfect symmetry for my butt and a 8 inch UNCUT dick in exchange for your undying loyalty.

Why is it that in your big book of bad ideas did you make it a rule to snip our pride off?

 

[Elfboy]

God

I want a nice ass and a bigger dick. I want near perfect symmetry for my butt and a 8 inch UNCUT dick in exchange for your undying loyalty.

Why is it that in your big book of bad ideas did you make it a rule to snip our pride off?

- your butt is a muscle. if you want near perfect symmetry, you can get it by working out
- it's not always an advantage to have a humongous penis. personally, I prefer partners who are smaller
- circumcision is hardly a big deal either way

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

dear God,

i always call out for you (oh god, oh my god) everytime jock is manhandling me.
i just wanted to say thanks for watching over for us and making jock look just
like a grecian version of you(s).

love, mmhmm

mmhmm,

Thank you for your kind thoughts, but I would prefer not to be invoked when you're doing whatever it is you do with those parts I gave you. I'm glad you're enjoying them, but I don't need a postcard from every kinky locale. Happy fucking!

Dear God,

Make it stop.

Amen.

iwakar,

The Lord hears your prayer.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

God

I want a nice ass and a bigger dick. I want near perfect symmetry for my butt and a 8 inch UNCUT dick in exchange for your undying loyalty.

Why is it that in your big book of bad ideas did you make it a rule to snip our pride off?

Uwace,

God is not a plastic surgeon. Everyone gets a ticket in the genetic lottery. I'm sorry that you feel you lost.

- your butt is a muscle. if you want near perfect symmetry, you can get it by working out
- it's not always an advantage to have a humongous penis. personally, I prefer partners who are smaller
- circumcision is hardly a big deal either way

Elfboy,

Thank you for your input, but I got this. The Ask Elfboy thread is that way --->

 

[Elfboy]

Uwace,
God is not a plastic surgeon. Everyone gets a ticket in the genetic lottery. I'm sorry that you feel you lost.
Elfboy,
Thank you for your input, but I got this. The Ask Elfboy thread is that way --->

um, that's wonderful that you benefited from my input, but I was responding to Uwace
PS: oh and there actually isn't an ask Elfboy, but I think I should make one

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

um, that's wonderful that you benefited from my input, but I was responding to Uwace
PS: oh and there actually isn't an ask Elfboy, but I think I should make one

LOL. You can rest assured that God did not benefit from your input.

 

[Elfboy]

LOL. You can rest assured that God did not benefit from your input.

inconsequential. I felt compelled to post, so I posted. it doesn't need to help anyone except me

 

[Lark]

Dear God,

I would like a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas with a compass in the stock and... a pair of goggles. Don't tell me this is Santa's job, I know the truth.

Now that is just absolutely great, I love that movie.

 

[Lark]

Dear God,

The more I think about the more I'm convinced that humanity, or at least western civilisation, hit the skids with the reformation and its been down hill since, why God? Why?

 

[Atomic Fiend]

God,

Why did you make all forms of media (music, film, television, etc) better before I was born?

 

[Kierva]

Uwace,

God is not a plastic surgeon. Everyone gets a ticket in the genetic lottery. I'm sorry that you feel you lost.



Elfboy,

Thank you for your input, but I got this. The Ask Elfboy thread is that way --->

God you have still not answered my question.

Why is it that in your big book of bad ideas did you make it a rule to snip our pride off?

 

[Kierva]