As an INFJ, what's my Enneagram?

[lane777]

• I've always feared I might bore people.

• Rescuing is a constant theme in my daydreams.

• I'm very diplomatic and try to avoid conflict by compromising, but never to a fault. I will confront others if I feel that in the end it's beneficial to me and the other party. I actually excel in confrontation, I just don't enjoy it.

• I have never related to the description of the 4's dramatic expression style. I'm reserved and private about emotions. I rarely vent, because I feel words are insufficient to express my depth of feeling. When I do express myself though, I am comfortable with it, I just dont feel that it will accomplish much because no one can comfort or make me feel better about a situation when they cannot relate (I'm such an alien). However, confiding in my INTJ mother was the exception, because she felt the same way I did about life in general, so I found comfort in her. Because I can't find comfort in someone anymore, I find it in by wallowing in the negative.

• I used to think I was an Enneagram 9 largely because I thought I numbed out feelings, when in reality I simply didn't allow them to come to the surface. To an outsider I will look numb, because I'm retreating within myself. But under the surface, there's a storm. Generally, I talk myself out of it (give myself perspective by looking at the positive in life, for instance) which really helps. But when I'm under lots of pressure, I find this tactic difficult to follow through on. So I relish negative emotions, delving into dark disturbing thoughts, usually ending in martyrdom. This "emotional cutting," only gratifies in the moment and in the end I'm only making myself spiral into depression, leaving myself with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for being morbid. I have since decided to just be happy lol and that's really helped.

• One of my most defining characteristics is my forgetfulness.

• 4's struggle with envy, but this never registered with me in the traditional sense, because I don't envy peoples friends, their possessions or who they are... I don't want their friends, their possessions and I don't want to be them. However, I envy their state of being. I envy the fact that because they are the norm they can lead a normal life. If the world were modelled for people like me - if I were the majority, life would be simple. I want the world to cater to my way of thinking, rather than change to suit the world - the latter, actually being in the realm of possibility. But I'm stubbornly me So I suppose I envy the majority for being the majority.

• I don't understand a 4's obsession with being unique. I am however, obsessed with being authentic. I believe this obsession stems from being very different in the first place and having to fight for acceptance and stand by my convictions. Every day I feel pressured to be something I'm not... instead of conforming, I hold back a part of myself, to avoid this pressuring in the first place.

• I don't feel insecure as many INFJ's do. I love myself. That could have something to do with my faith though; If God, a superior being, can love me, I must be lovable.

• I have a very critical mind, but I rarely express these criticisms.

• When I'm with friends, the focus of the conversation is them. When I'm alone, I'm very self absorbed.

• I'm obsessed with ethics. I get stressed out when I'm faced with immoral behavior.

• Another sore spot for me is judgmental people. When people judge someone for unique behavior, opinions, or characteristics, I lose respect for them immediately. I find this form of judgement to be ignorant and hypocritical; everyone is an individual. However, judging someone for immoral behavior is admirable.

• People see me as withdrawing, depressive, mature, diplomatic, self punishing, idealistic, perfectionistic, calm, ethical, serious, consistent, spiritual, wise, accepting, abstaining, peacemaking, stable - to mention a few.

• I relate to Enneagram's 9, 5, 4 and 1.

INFJ's, if you relate to any of this, what's your Enneagram? Or what Enneagram do you think I fall under, what wing? Feel free to question me, I just rambled off what came to mind.

Please don't provide Enneagram tests... I really don't trust them.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

I'm thinking because you are "self-punishing" and idealistic/perfectionistic, this sounds very type 1 like in nature. I think you have a 2 wing, because you describe yourself as diplomatic and peacemaking too. 1's are proponents for morality. Sp variant, because you stated you have withdrawn traits.

I went through the type 1 and type 4 juggle, I kind of still do, but I feel a closer connection to the emotional sensitivity of the type 4.

 

[the state i am in]

9w1. the 1 wing kicks in at about the age of 20. it adds a hypercritical dimension and especially a focus on standards (moralizing) that become crucially important and at times a source of unhappiness and disappointment. a kind of rigidity and demanding quality that rejects rather than accepts bc without standards, what have we got???? etc.

 

[DJAchtundvierzig]

Just because your an infj doesn't mean you're restricted to an Enneagram type. I'm a 9w1, and I think you may be too.

 

[rowingineden]

9w1. the 1 wing kicks in at about the age of 20. it adds a hypercritical dimension and especially a focus on standards (moralizing) that become crucially important and at times a source of unhappiness and disappointment. a kind of rigidity and demanding quality that rejects rather than accepts bc without standards, what have we got???? etc.

What if you were very 1ish growing up and are becoming more easygoing about all the same things you used to be very hypercritical about as you near age 20?

 

[the state i am in]

What if you were very 1ish growing up and are becoming more easygoing about all the same things you used to be very hypercritical about as you near age 20?

i'd guess e4. the stress point of e4 is e1. the write-up basically says the direction for e4 growth is towards equanimity. you start to give others the benefit of the doubt and your sense of what is right expands. you can identify with others in a more complex way, bc you've struggled with the people comparisons and the good/evil questions for so long. you know how to handle individual differences and imagine what the subjective reality of someone else is in a more open-ended way.

 

[rowingineden]

i'd guess e4. the stress point of e4 is e1. the write-up basically says the direction for e4 growth is towards equanimity. you start to give others the benefit of the doubt and your sense of what is right expands. you can identify with others in a more complex way, bc you've struggled with the people comparisons and the good/evil questions for so long. you know how to handle individual differences and imagine what the subjective reality of someone else is in a more open-ended way.

Yeah, I guessed I was 4w5 for my heart fix.

 

[lane777]

I'm thinking because you are "self-punishing" and idealistic/perfectionistic, this sounds very type 1 like in nature. I think you have a 2 wing, because you describe yourself as diplomatic and peacemaking too. 1's are proponents for morality. Sp variant, because you stated you have withdrawn traits.

I went through the type 1 and type 4 juggle, I kind of still do, but I feel a closer connection to the emotional sensitivity of the type 4.

This is a good example of how complicated this can all get The diplomatic and peacemaking qualities of 2's are also shared by 9's. And a fixation on morality could also be seen in a 9w1... or perhaps I exhibit those traits too strongly for a 1 wing?

9w1. the 1 wing kicks in at about the age of 20.

This seems to apply.

Just because your an infj doesn't mean you're restricted to an Enneagram type. I'm a 9w1, and I think you may be too.

I originally settled on 9w1 for a couple reason. I looked like an INFP as a teen, even according to my mom and best friend and since 9's usually correlate to INFP, it became my default choice when I couldn't decide (I needed the closure ). The second reason being, 9's possess some qualities of all the types. So because I can relate to many different Enneagram's, 9 seemed like the logical choice.

 

[lane777]

As much as I despise tests, I did the free one at enneagraminstitute.com because I couldn't decide between type 9 and 4.

type 1 score 5
type 2 score 3
type 3 score 3
type 4 score 8
type 5 score 4
type 6 score 5
type 7 score 2
type 8 score 1
type 9 score 5

Assuming 4 is my dominant type, what could my wing be?

 

[CuriousFeeling]

As much as I despise tests, I did the free one at enneagraminstitute.com because I couldn't decide between type 9 and 4.

type 1 score 5
type 2 score 3
type 3 score 3
type 4 score 8
type 5 score 4
type 6 score 5
type 7 score 2
type 8 score 1
type 9 score 5

Assuming 4 is my dominant type, what could my wing be?

Considering type 5 has a higher score than 3 in your list, then you'd have a 5 wing.

 

[lane777]

Considering type 5 has a higher score than 3 in your list, then you'd have a 5 wing.

Then it's impossible to be a 4 with anything but a 5 or 3 wing?

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Then it's impossible to be a 4 with anything but a 5 or 3 wing?

According to Enneagram Theory, yes. Your wing is the next door neighbor for your main type.

For example, I tend to score highest for 4, followed by 1, then 5 on Enneagram tests. But, Enneagram theory has wings based on the number next to your main type, so I couldn't say that I am a 4w1. 5 is the next highest score, which is 4's next door neighbor. Hence, 4 with a 5 wing.

 

[Moiety]

I didn't read the thread but I always got a 1 vibe from you.

 

[lane777]

According to Enneagram Theory, yes. Your wing is the next door neighbor for your main type.

For example, I tend to score highest for 4, followed by 1, then 5 on Enneagram tests. But, Enneagram theory has wings based on the number next to your main type, so I couldn't say that I am a 4w1. 5 is the next highest score, which is 4's next door neighbor. Hence, 4 with a 5 wing.

It's too bad I put so much focus on the profiles to start, when I should have looked at the basics first. If I narrow it down to their ego fixations - assuming you can type solely on them, it's far easier to come to some conclusion... mine would be the 4's melancholy and 5's stinginess - the former, without question. I might appear to have 9's indolence, but that is most likely due to my health issues which cause fatigue, so I can almost rule that out. And I don't feel that the 1's resentment has a hold on me.

I didn't read the thread but I always got a 1 vibe from you.

Not surprising. I relate to type 1 a lot - especially their Holy Idea of perfection. Thank-you for the input.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

It's too bad I put so much focus on the profiles to start, when I should have looked at the basics first. If I narrow it down to their ego fixations - assuming you can type solely on them, it's far easier to come to some conclusion... mine would be the 4's melancholy and 5's stinginess - the former, without question. I might appear to have 9's indolence, but that is most likely due to my health issues which cause fatigue, so I can almost rule that out. And I don't feel that the 1's resentment has a hold on me.



Not surprising. I relate to type 1 a lot - especially their Holy Idea of perfection. Thank-you for the input.

Keep in mind, type 4s, when unhealthy, tend to be very melancholic, but when they are healthy, they can be capable of experiencing happiness to an intense level, and are very creative. And the creativity isn't just limited to creating art, even you can be a creative intellectually, getting involved in philosophy and/or science. Fours can be perfectionistic like ones, too, just less about morality, and more about self-actualization ("Who am I, what's my place in the world?" "How can I make a difference, yet remain authentic to my identity?"), and finding their perfect life partner for them ("I wish for my one true love to come to my rescue."). If you've felt like you're looking for a fairy tale ending, and if it doesn't happen, then you feel jealous that others seem to have it easier, chances are you're a 4.

I can relate a lot to type 1's idea of perfection too. Just I feel like my main motivation is to be creative in some shape or form.

 

[lane777]

Keep in mind, type 4s, when unhealthy, tend to be very melancholic, but when they are healthy, they can be capable of experiencing happiness to an intense level, and are very creative. And the creativity isn't just limited to creating art, even you can be a creative intellectually, getting involved in philosophy and/or science. Fours can be perfectionistic like ones, too, just less about morality, and more about self-actualization ("Who am I, what's my place in the world?" "How can I make a difference, yet remain authentic to my identity?"), and finding their perfect life partner for them ("I wish for my one true love to come to my rescue."). If you've felt like you're looking for a fairy tale ending, and if it doesn't happen, then you feel jealous that others seem to have it easier, chances are you're a 4.

I can relate a lot to type 1's idea of perfection too. Just I feel like my main motivation is to be creative in some shape or form.

Thanks for breaking things down, everything you said sounds a lot like me. And I think I might have a social/self-pres stacking, or the reverse, which would explain why I look a lot like a 1, according to this site. Although self-pres/sexual is a possibility as well.

 

[Aleksei]

As an INFJ, what's my Enneagram?

Not 4. Frankly I think most (though by no means all) self-reported INFJ 4s are either not really 4, or not INFJ (likely the latter). 4 is a very Fi type.

Per your description, I think you're most likely a 2w1, though you could be 1w2 or 9w1.

 

[lane777]

Not 4. Frankly I think most (though by no means all) self-reported INFJ 4s are either not really 4, or not INFJ (likely the latter). 4 is a very Fi type.

Per your description, I think you're most likely a 2w1, though you could be 1w2 or 9w1.

Just to clarify, are you suggesting I'm an INFJ 2w1 or only that I'm 2w1?

 

[redacted]

You sound like a 1 to me.

Then again, I'm not sure of my type either.

 

[lane777]

You sound like a 1 to me.

Then again, I'm not sure of my type either.

Just occurred to me... it's probably important for me to point out that my social style online is not a good representation of my social style irl. I sound extremely 1ish because my main focus here is to discuss psychology - serious tunnel vision... and that makes me come off solemn and detached. Every minute I spend online, I prefer to make the most of; a fickle chit chat with some random stranger online doesn't qualify. I keep my socializing to irl encounters, which are more meaningful, imo. Typing me, based on the OP and asking me questions on my behavior, is the best bet, opposed to reading/determining my behavior based on my response style.