^ lol. i know what you mean though elfboy, i'm not at all upset by people in emotional distress, and i enjoy helping them out. it's not that i'm happy that they're upset - i wish they weren't - but i know that helping people in emotional distress is something i'm good at and i know that more than likely it will be a positive interaction for us both. i generally take it slowly in that situation also. i find that many people appreciate when you are simply accepting of them, especially because that is such a generally awkward social thing. i usually just politely ask them if they'd like me to stay or leave. and if they'd like me to stay, then i ask if there's anything i can do for them.
love my ESFJ mom though i do, whenever i was upset as a child, she always would try to go and get things to help me and do things for me, when all i really would have liked was for her to sit with me and be emotionally supportive. i expressed that once and she told me she was surprised - and that it's hard for her to just sit with someone who's distressed. she wants to
do things for them. i tried to explain that i don't need someone to do things for me - i'm perfectly capable - but i can't emotionally support myself when i'm distressed. my INTP dad would always just ignore me, which i didn't always mind. perhaps the whole experience is somewhat different for Fe/Ti.
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anyway - ha, i'm weird about hugs, it totally depends on the "chemistry" between myself and the other person. there are some friends i am very comfortable hugging. hell, there are some strangers i'd be comfortable hugging. but some other friends, even though i have known them a long time - i just don't want to hug them at all. my good friend of 8 years now and i don't really make physical contact much at all, whereas my current best friend and i were up in each other's space within a month. i dunno what to make of it, besides it usually corresponds with psychological closeness. the closer i feel to someone psychologically, the more comfortable i am with physical contact with them. maybe it has to do with a subconscious sense of trust, i dunno.
i think i know what you're getting at though, INTPness - when a Fi user initiates a hug, it's likely to be a spontaneous glee thing, or some deep emotional well. not to say that Fe users can't also do that, but oftentimes social exchanges, including hugs, have more of a sense of "currency" to them - more of a warm message of goodwill, as opposed to the Fi ZOMG YOUUU. like you said - like a handshake. though INFJs, i don't know if i've ever seen any of the INFJs i know hug someone, lol.
but i think it also depends a lot on your family and culture. i have a huge half-italian family and they generally like to hug all over each other, regardless of whether you've seen them in the past 17 years or even can remember how they're related to you, so it's something i've learned to tolerate even from near-strangers