(I also quoted berenj because I thought it was a good example...sorry if you didn't want to be quoted berenj)
I have had very little of this in my life, and none for years, perhaps because I'm older probably than most folks who have posted so far. I'm sure there was the usual juvenile stuff when I was in middle and high school, which made so little impression on me I can't remember it now. I didn't get it in college either. In the military, there was one occasion where a mixed gender group wanted to swap stories about when and how they lost their virginity. I told them it was none of their business and was hereafter viewed as the resident party pooper, but such is life. Again in the military someone kept trying to pick me up in temporary lodging, but it wasn't at all threatening. He was actually rather courteous, just wouldn't take no for an answer.
I've gotten that damn comment. Sexism is a little like racism in some ways to me...it's just there and I have an almost fatalistic attitude toward it. Or like coping with bad weather. It just is. Yeah, you can go off about it, prepare for it, but in the end, it just can't be controlled. I don't know...it didn't keep me talking shit back though at times when I thought it called for it.
Oddly enough, it's not the comments...it's touching! I've had more of a problem with people thinking that I am public property and they can just walk up put their hands on my ass, touch my hair, my waist or stroke my arm. That is a big problem. It's amazing that a lot men think this shit is okay and they just smile, 'pat pat' like it's nothing. My roommate even did this crap to me while I was in the kitchen yesterday morning, walked by touched my waist (I should have stabbed him since I was standing by the silver rack). It's pretty screwed up that they react with surprise and anger when I tell them to keep their goddamn hands to themselves--there are no public access signs on me and it's not okay to touch me without asking and receiving my okay.
I worked in sales for years... there were plenty of males who would suggest that if I did them a sexual favor they would make a considerable purchase
working in a hotel I also got a good number of invitations up to guests' rooms after my shift ended... and my boss there liked to ask for massages, which he never got
on another note, comments from other women kind of bother me more than comments from men in a way... you'd almost think that you'd get some sort of shared sympathy over getting treated like a piece of meat, but complain to the wrong woman and she thinks that you're bragging about the fact that you can get hit on (and therefore must be attractive)... guys will make comments like that as well at times... as if you should just take pervy comments with a smile
I kind of think that they like the fact that they have the power to make someone else feel uncomfortable or unsafe
I think that they liked that
It's these "little reminders" that should be met with saying a word, to make the point clear that the line has already been crossed, and that is unacceptable. This is a crisis of confidence as much as anything else, but most women are not raised to feel confident. They are prepared to become victims.
on another note, comments from other women kind of bother me more than comments from men in a way... you'd almost think that you'd get some sort of shared sympathy over getting treated like a piece of meat, but complain to the wrong woman and she thinks that you're bragging about the fact that you can get hit on (and therefore must be attractive)... guys will make comments like that as well at times... as if you should just take pervy comments with a smile
