Are you a 7 or a 9?
I'll be perfectly honest and say the 4/7 combination is a challenging one for longterm relationships. Based on personal experience, I think the relationship is fun and exciting and adventurous and passionate at first but the 4 eventually wears the 7 down with relentless demands for emotional intensity all the time, the 7 starts feeling bored and trapped and reacts less and less, the 4 doesn't take the hint and keeps badgering while feeling wounded and unsatisfied, the 7 ultimately bails, and the 4 throws a "woe is me" pity party for one.
I'd actually be interested in hearing how you guys make it work if you are indeed a 7. I don't know much about 9/4 relationships, I think there would be another set of problems there but I have limited first hand experience. My inclination though is to say it sounds easier that 4/7.
I certainly think it's promising, and any relationship is challenging anyway (if it's not, then boooring). Obviously INFPs like to imagine no one really suits us and that relationships will be some grandiose struggle of two human natures trying to merge and yet maintain their individual identities, because that's very romantic in a Bronte Sisters kind of way.
I found I grew tired of a 7 I dated and purposely became evasive and ornery to be rid of him. They require a lot of emotional energy, but some of that problem is my own (5 wing = stingy with emotional energy, yet likely being draining myself when I am not withdrawn due to core 4). I feel trapped by their demands on time and interaction, and when I seek to retreat for needed recovery or take a perverse view for its own sake, then they find me ornery. The average 7 can't deal with unpleasantness very well, so my ornery mode agitates them. I'm well aware I go into it when seeking space.... and I rejoiced when the space was made permanent, because I was feeling suffocated.
i can't imagine myself with an ESTJ ever. ever. i need someone with strong iNtuition and/or feelz who will appreciate and understand my weird creativity. i only ever hear of 4w5s with other iNtuitives. the one exception to this would be the INFP-ISFP pairing which occurs because of that deep Fi connection, i suppose.
i think INFP enneagram 9s tend to be the ones who partner with ESTJs + it generally seems to go up in flames anyway.
also, socionics is v confusing to me. still trying to figure out where i stand
I can...provided he is super hot. My imagination stretches that far
I have yet to see an INFP 4 with an ESTJ also. I most often see & hear of INFP 4s with ExxP 7s or INTx 5s. That's just personal observation of a very small pool of people.
The inverse symmetry of the ESTJ 1 is intriguing, but I think an ENTJ 3 might provide the animus feel while still having the shared iNtuition and image triad focus (identity, forming a significance to others, etc).
Considering that most people seek out typology when in a relationship mostly due to conflicts and to understand their partners then you're more likely to hear the negative aspects but you need to be more realistic. You're only focusing on the negative, there are 7.162 billion people in the world, of which there are roughly 716 million ESTJs and roughly 286 million INFPs so we can assume there are about 15 million ESTJ-INFP relationships, do you think they're all unhappy? Do you think they're all INFP 9s?
And, this is irrelevant, but since you ask, yes, I'm attending the wedding of an INFP/ESTJ couple next month. They're not perfect (what couple is?) but they're content and compatible.
Where in the world did you get those numbers?
"Content and compatible" - that's my dream!
