[Type 4] 4 is the loneliest number..

[Tiltyred]

Type 4 here, just saying hi to represent.

 

[Sunshine]

ENNEAGRAM 4 ALL THE WAY!

 

[Sunshine]

I'm funckin' four as well. Whaz your subtype? Me self-preservation.
But I tell you, I wouldn't change 4 for something other

You are? What MB type are you?


I'm ISFP 4w5 Sx/So

 

[entropie]

I feel like I was away for a too long time

 

[Sunshine]

And the 3 goes like this: "I am the CEO of a major corporation. I'm worth over $100 billion. And my penis is 9 inches long."

hahahahaha

 

[Sunshine]

Thats it! The perfect way to describe a 4w5 INTJ! "You know how on Christmas morning parents experience wrapper rage trying to open presents for the kids but once the toys are opened and the kids are running around gleefully they feel happier? Thats what you experience with 4w5 INTJ. Once you get the wrapper open, you'll be glad you spent all that time."




Being a 4 is difficult. Its like having a deep, deep craving for contact, for someone to reaaaallly understand me... but doubting that anyone ever will. I'm afraid that if someone actually sees the crazy chaos that goes on inside of me they'll freak out and run away, away, away. That they won't be able to understand my need to delve as deeply into the hurt as I can before I can make sense of it and come to terms with it... and that I may sometimes revisit the pain just to make sure that my interpretation of it hasn't changed since last time we visited together.

I am a 4, and I am glad that I feel all that I feel. I just wish that I didn't feel so... lonely.

Yeah. I really relate to that.

 

[Gauche]

You are? What MB type are you?


I'm ISFP 4w5 Sx/So

Well, ENFP, 4w3

 

[Jeremy]

Psht. You think being a 4 is hard? For sooth.

At least 4s can get in touch with their negative emotions. We 9s (or at least me) ignore them, or refuse to process them, even if they're strong. And eventually, they overflow, or seep out, and it's usually ugly (if they're bad). It's only happened a few times to me (the overflow version, not the seeping out).. but it's never been pretty. Hurting people is a 9's worst fear, but we do it without even trying sometimes. Sometimes in spite of trying not to.

So don't be too down on being a four. Sometimes it's a good thing to be able to get that negativity to the level where you can process it, and not just beat yourself up for bearing negativity against someone or something (I have no problem being negative on myself though). Plus, tapping into your negativity allows your positives to be strengthened as well. Experiencing the bad in life makes the good that much sweeter.

 

[SillySapienne]

Good morning, fellow fours!!!

I am currently lying in my bed with my dog, and his name is (Professor) Jack.

Mamacita, donde esta Santa Claus?

Christmas is here, (almost).

I went miniature golfing last night, and there were four bunnies on the course, two babies, and two adults, one male and one female, unless of course they were both males, I really wouldn't be able to tell you except that one attempted to mount the other.

Anyhow, enough of this driveling nonsense, have any of you truly been in love?

I have been in love, and there have even been times when people, seemingly random people, have looked me straight in the eye and have seen me, and when this happens my instinct is to avert my eyes, for some reason.

Though I want so badly to be seen, the thought of it actually happening is kind of scary.

Intimacy, which is connecting/connection to the extreme is all that I really want, yet...yet, I think I may have problems with intimacy?!!?

Maybe when you spend a lifetime feeling so ungraspably misunderstood you tend to believe that the prospect of ever truly being understood is an unlikely one, and then you become lazy, or jaded and just accept your aloneness.

Or am I rationalizing?

Thoughts?

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Actually I've never been in love, I've had a long term infatuation with someone I've never spoken to that's nagged at me since I've seen that person but I don't think it's love till you actually speak to the person. Actually I've had several of these.

 

[SillySapienne]

Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

I do, often.

Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!

 

[SillySapienne]

O, hai!!!

 

[Gauche]

Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!

Those fuckin' doubts are what makes you a romantic.


I have found a magic in those little bitches (doubts) and they empower me now.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

I do, often.

Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!

I actually see no contradiction in being a tomboy and a romantic.

 

[SillySapienne]

So yeah, I am drunk, it is officially Jesus' birthday, or something, fuck, or is that Easter..

Anyhow, I am here, with my dog, in the living room listening to music, and feeling the love.

What a lovely evening tonight has been.

I am a lover, not a hater.

And I love all the myriad forms of love.

Love is what keeps us together, a salve of sorts, an existential glue.

When I get you, I let you in.

When you and I become reflections of each other, oh how the we validates the me, and disintegrates the you.

Reflection yields connection.

Hello, yes, hi, how are you?

 

[entropie]

Lonely is lonely

 

[BlueScreen]

Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

I do, often.

Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!

Yeh, almost everyone I know would laugh if I got called a romantic. In the traditional sense I am so far from it. Most of my friends type me more as desperate than perfectionist too, because of my relationship record. Or because we like to stir each other . They sort of don't notice the number of opportunities I walk past though and the annoying perfectionism. In a day I can find reasons to flaw most love I feel. But at the same time reinforce it. It is one f**kup waiting to occur. But at the same time it is beautful. Don't know who is compatible with a type four. Or maybe one day I just find something right and get it all right. Wouldn't be that unusual for an ENFP.

Most of my writing shows my ENFPness, but this one really shows my type 4, and I wanted to post it. Sorry if people dislike random poetry moments .

I have seen a perfect love.
How could I look for less?
How could I choose to settle for
one who partially connects?

I have seen a perfect love;
one no man could forget.
So comfortable in its place..
So tender in its ways..

My mind may still grow old.
My mind may still grow tired.
And I may drift away
from what love I once desired.

My heart may still grow cold.
My mind may still forget.
But I've seen a perfect love.
How could I look for less?

 

[cherchair]

4 is the loneliest number

If you feel like a pathological freak, but also embrace and foster your freakiness, you are probably a four.

If you view life through your heart, you are probably a four.

My heart needs to bleed in order for me to feel alive.

I am attracted to suffering and sadness.

Give me depth or give me death, basically.



I know I am a four because I read a book, and out of the nine options, four resonates with me the absolute most, like to a nauseating degree.

Sometimes I think I would be happier if I weren't a four.


Eh, no.

Though I relate to 2s and 2-ness.


Thanks Anja.

It isn't that I hate my 4-ness, it just gets old sometimes.

Like feelings of what should have been strictly adolescent alienation have yet to cease.

Whatevs, I'm cool, yo.

I tested 4 on the Ennegram, but, yup, this confirms it. And, yeah, you're cool--and warm.

 

[cherchair]

4 is the loneliest number

Hello, my name is CaptainChick, and I am a romantic.

It's really weird, like, it doesn't fit, or something, hrm, hard to explain.

Do you guys ever feel like your "spirit" doesn't match your shell?

I do, often.

Like, ugh, I don't know why I am so loud and opinionated, sometimes I hear myself and I sound so gruff. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wish I were more feminine.

How can such a gruff tomboy be such a romantic, it makes no sense!!!

CC, I am one of the intensely romantic people I know and I've been a card-carrying tomboy since birth. One has nothing to do with the other, except, perhaps to intensifiy each other. At least that's the conclusion I've reached at age 60. My age doesn't make me wiser; I've just had more experience with this whole apparent romantic/tomboy conflict. Having been around the block a few times and through Georgia twice, I'm getting more comfortable with how the two interact. I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone but me, but I hope it does.

 

[violaine]

I'm 4w5 CC

Yes, it can be tough being a 4 much as I hate to say it out loud (because it's such a 4 thing to say, ). When I first started reading about some of the challenges for 4s my heart sank. (i.e. being attached to longing, feeling unique and hence exempt from the rules everyone else lives by, problems tolerating ordinariness). It seemed like it would be very difficult to be content in life as a 4. Thank the gods for the enneagram recommendations for growth! They have really helped me to outgrow a few things and accept myself and calm the internal storms a little.

As to the tomboy thing, I wouldn't say I am strictly a tomboy, but I am not 'girly' and have always preferred the company of boys/men and similarly non-'girly' women. I am very romantic. Though not in what I think of as the 'generic' sense. I have zero interest in the usual tokens of love people feel compelled to exchange if it's just for being in full view of the rest of the world. Bridezilla types repulse me. Valentine's Day used to disgust me for years, starting age 14 or so, lol. I want real and 'do what you really feel', not prescribed. I think that can make a very romantic (to the core) 4 come across as not traditionally romantic and perhaps a little hard, though the opposite is true. It's due to the desire for authenticity.