I say we start a drinking game about the election. Anyone in?
-Every time a candidate uses the words 'progressive values' to describe their positions, take a drink. Take two drinks if it's a moderate referring to themselves as a progressive.
-Every time a candidate refers to trump as "unhinged" or any similar term, take a drink.
-Every time one of them refers to themselves as the only candidate who can defeat trump, take two drinks.
-However unlikely, if any candidate uses something like "because it's 2019/2020" as an answer for why they support any given policy, take three drinks.
-Every time a candidate refers to Russian trolls or Putin, take three drinks.
-If a candidate uses any sort of pejorative (i.e. "deplorables") to refer to Trump voters, take a drink.
-If a candidate says "it's time for us to heal the divide in America" or "time to end the polarization" or anything similar, take a drink.
-If a candidate references Scandinavia as an example they want to follow, take a drink.
-If a white male candidate talks about how they've spent their career working to improve conditions for minority demographics, take a drink.
-If Biden or any other white candidate talks about a black person they used work with, take two drinks. Take a third drink if they interject the words "dear friend" in reference to the black person they want everyone to know they know.
-Every time tulsi brings up her military service, take a drink.
-every time tulsi says "aloha" to a crowd, take a drink.
-every time a candidate tries to work in a reference to current popular culture (i.e. "pokemon
go to the polls"), take two drinks.
-everytime Biden or any White candidate tries to appear hip to black voters by referring to carrying around hot sauce or some other stereotypical behavior, take two drinks.
-if a candidate prefaces their positions on gun control with "look, no one's coming to take your guns away", take a drink. If they follow that up with an anecdote about how they used to hunt with their daddy, add an extra drink. If they are featured in a photo op awkwardly participating in some sport involving guns, take two drinks.
-every time a candidate refers to Barack Obama's vision and/or tries to tout themselves as the true heir to Obama, take a drink.
-if Biden refers to some woman in a vaguely lecherous manner, take three drinks.
-if Biden refers to a younger candidate as "kid", "whippersnapper", "youngin'", "Padawan learner", "junior", "little guy", "little missy", et al, take a drink.
-if Sanders begins a sentence with "it is my belief that...", take a drink.
-if Sanders talks about growing up in "the brawnks", take a drink.
-if Tulsi or anyone else expresses their sincere apologies for past views or policies, take two drinks.
-if Warren does that thing where she makes her voice sound like a sweet grandmother, take a drink.
-if warren does the concerned guidance counselor voice, take a drink.
-if Warren refers to her ancestry, take three drinks.
-if any candidate changes their accent based on the town they're currently stumping in, take three drinks. If it's a white person trying to "sound black", take an extra drink.
-If they dodge questions about draft registration and/or victims of war by responding how women are the true or primary victims of war, take 3 drinks.
-I’m tempted to say take a drink any time Biden makes an unintentionally awkward gaffe, but I think we’ll all be dead from alcohol poisoning by the time this thing is over.
I'll think of some more later.
