There is this aphorism in Nietzsche's "Ecce Homo" that I often think about:
"When thou goest to woman, take thy whip."
On the surface it sounds misogynistic, but as with many of his aphorisms there are multiple interpretations that spur thought. The reason I think about it a lot is that I think each possible interpretation illuminates an essential fact of male / female relations.
Out of all the possible reasons to "take thy whip" I have come up with the following interpretations:
1. The whip as a tool of domination over women.
2. The whip as a tool for keeping women at bay, much like a lion tamer keeps lions at bay.
3. The whip as a means to punish yourself in front of women or because of women.
4. The whip as a tool a woman uses to dominate men, ie. take your whip so that she can whip you.
5. The whip as a tool for spurring action.
In any case, I think there is something thought provoking about it. And I consider it often. There is a force at work that keeps us at odds with one another. And that same force attracts us irrevocably to one another.
That's nothing new. Women have historically been seen as forces as nature, mystical, closer to the spirits, dangerous and irrational, etc. by male philosophers and male religious leaders and male dramaturgists throughout history.
I interpret that quote ^^ more along the same lines.
And...where did this thread go? LOL.
Anyhow, my answer is that I generally have female friends. I think if the OP tends to have only male friends I'd guess she's very pretty and gets positive attention from guys. Similar to Silly Sapienne's experience I wouldn't be surprised if later down the line
I dated an INFP woman who had this similar pattern until college when she went to a women's college. She was only "friends" with guys in highschool as apparently all the other girls were jealous of her... ^_^ I also knew another INFP woman who was a tomboy and played a lot of sports and had a pattern of having male friends who later wanted more. Both these women continue a pattern of problematic/disappointing relationships (both friendship and dating). The first woman is bisexual, the second woman is a lesbian.
I have to say both these patterns ^^ could be avoided if you learned to recognize the kind of attention you were getting - from both guys and girls. And were also more self-aware and clear of the signals you yourself give off or how people will interpret your actions.
I haven't seen this problem to this magnitude with non-XNFP types.
I think it's usually pretty clear when a straight dude is just talking to you or interested in you because they find you attractive and want to be more than friends. I have found that XNFPs, particularly INFPs are really bad at recognizing/gauging this.
I've also seen guys form very patronizing "friendships" with women they think are really cute but otherwise they think are dumber or less informed than they are or otherwise not on par with being an equal peer.