The kicker is no matter how you look at it Fe-Fi difference really is blaming Fe as its one side of the problem. Lets remove Fi blame and Fe blame and put things on a sliding scale where Fi is on one side and Fe is on the other. Successful communication is when that whole scale can be covered from left to right. Basically Fe will leave its side, Fi will leave its side and they will meet somewhere inbetween covering the entire communication gap. What if Fi hits a sticking point and Fe takes it upon themselves to bridge that extra gap in regards to communication. Say Fi made it 25% and Fe went the 50% and then the extra 25%. At this point Fi will feel a gap because of the sticking point. To say that its because of the difference and then to recognize it as a communication issue is like shooting Fe in the foot. Be prepared to face the entire gap(though I get the impression that Fe just steps back to 50% and will force Fi to go the extra 25%.)
Just one angle in regards to the communication isse. I face the same problem with Te.
good description, i agree with you.
i have that issue between me and Ti dom/aux too... strong Ti communication style from a Ti dom/aux - lots of definition and logical back-and-forth - is hard for me to understand, but if i don't make an effort then it's not fair to just blow off the other person and call it their fault that things are tense between us. plus it might not be Ti at all, it might just be me being an ass.
i dunno if you read a post to proteo i wrote a little bit ago but i think this has happened with my best friend and i too. when we both get angry, she puts up a wall to defend herself, and i explode outwards. and it's 0% effective because she's blocking my attempt to open up and i'm obliviously trying to understand her wall, instead of her. we think we're making an effort but we don't realize that our own style is not working for the other side, and it just escalates our own personal upset.
i personally don't see any negativity in saying that Fe and Fi communicating with each other might have some difficulties. it's not blame; neither side is wrong - a Fe dom misunderstanding a Fi dom does nothing wrong because they're understanding things from their point of view. the same goes for a Fi dom misunderstanding a Fe dom. they're just different takes on things, and applying Fe philosophy to Fi or Fi philosophy to Fe can result both in some really cool points, but also sometimes in misunderstanding one another. the thing that people might do that is morally wrong, to me, is to totally blow off the other person, like i am frequently tempted to do with the Ti doms i live with! lol.
anyway, to me, it sounded like orobas's point in applying typology to the situation was not to point out "Fe blame," but to understand what was happening, which suggests (at least from my pov) an attempt to be able to bridge that gap if she wants. and it seems obvious to me that proteo was making a definite effort to communicate with oro as well, but it did come off as strong to me, which was what i wanted to point out.
PeaceBaby said:
My thoughts on this are that since Fe "rules" are visible, and Fi "rules" generally not, it is harder for Fe to understand Fi. That could be why Fi users feel like they have to enter Fe space to attempt to be understood rather than an Fe user meet them in Fi space, or even in the middle, halfway.
yes, this is a good point. i feel like it's why i have trouble understanding Ti too. it's much more subtle and interwoven than my pretty blatant Te. and sometimes i think it can feel to others like Fi-based anger comes out of nowhere, whereas to me it's been building for a while as i feel like my toes are being stepped on more and more. but to be fair to others, i need to communicate that building frustration before it does explode.
onemoretime said:
Everyone has personal values that are unique to them as an individual. There are also objective rules of human conduct that must be followed lest others get offended. Just as those personal values develop differently based on the experiences of the individual, so do those objective rules manifest themselves differently based on the experiences of the culture. However, the purposes underlying those manifestations are universal.
i really like this description! i've been having a hard time believing that either Fe or Te are universal because my Te ways are quite different from a lot of other Te ways, and i know some Fe doms with different ways of expressing that Fe. i really liked this:
proteanmix said:
To me that's a very accurate (although a little less warm and fuzzy) depiction of Fe.
and it seems to resound with your description. each person's web will be slightly different, and their bonds different and their perspective and experiences different, so every person will have a different kind of Fe perspective.