I'm so tired of it, I stop trying.
If you already know the result of a game would you still watch it?
I can't handle with failure anymore.
My choice is either use drugs/substance or keep living my life this way untill I call it quit
I wake up get a coffee
rain, fog or shine and say this day i will try my 200% to stay sober and honestly right now Im not coming off drugs but i have drank again soo its back to scratch and this time its one day at a time and so far this day has been successful and thats all i can think about. The present day.
- I try to read and go about my day and sometimes just listen to music all day long not talking just music ( playing and writing it).
- If you need a break to sleep and listen to tunes im not gonna lie sometimes i call in sick. we are humannnnnn. But i keep thinking of if i killed myself ( which i have thought alot about soo its not just random ballfield here)
- Yes this moment of pain and this moment complete emptiness would be nothing and it just would all fade away...
- Buttttt I wouldnt find a real love, I wouldnt be loved and love another fully.
- I would make my family, friends and potential loves and friends incredibly sad and upset. It would be un fixable.
- I wouldnt see the nice sunrises and sunsets as lonely as they seem now they will eventually be lovely and irreplaceable.
- I would miss just being me and walking down a street happy I bought a cd or happy I smiled at the dog on the sidewalk or whoever. I wouldnt have that anymore.
- I would miss out on being older and definitely a cooler, more self assured me. really think of all the sweet 40-50 and 60 years old. Man they are rockin' and soooo cool they dont give a crap about nothing. Which makes themmm awesommeee.
- Alsoooo think of all the amazing places and projects/ hobbies you would never get to experience or say yeahhh i did that
- Also so many of your own friends or loved ones have probably been through this too. so you arent too alone. Its just super hard when youre on the intenet, listening to music and in you room or living room alone. ( ??? i hope its not just me...
)
- It'll get better! somedays are just brighter than others thats all
- if you really need more help check out a psychologist and or doctor they are good to talk to
andddd or other friends who you may have known to have similar issues they are super supportive, super supportive.
I hope Im not too late in sending this post I just saw the topic, soo I hope everything is going good or already a lot better